"Where have you been?" Her voice was calm yet pierced through me as I avoided eye contact with her. The kind that made my heart twist painfully.
"I was…" The words died in my throat.
"You always disappear without a word." She took a step closer, her frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "I looked for you everywhere. I was fucking worried, and you didn't even see it necessary to text me?"
"Alina-"
"Is someone bothering you?" Her tone softened and her eyes searched mine as I swallowed hard. "Are you in some kind of danger?"
My breath hitched. Why did she think that? A chill ran down my spine as I avoided her gaze, staring instead at the floor.
"Why… why do you think so?"
"Because I know you spend most of your day out, barely in the hostel." Her voice wavered slightly. "I know you go somewhere and come back looking like…" She gestured at my clothes, the ill-fitting ones I hadn't even noticed were wrong. "This." A sigh escaped her lips. "Damn, these aren't even yours. And you look like a damsel."
A damsel.
She was worried. Too worried. And I didn't know how to make it better. How to make the guilt go away. Should I tell her? About Judas? The thought alone sent a shiver through me, igniting a firestorm of memories I wished I could forget. But if I told her, she'd want to know everything. And once I started, I wasn't sure I could stop.
I couldn't let her become a liability, and knowing Judas, he'd use her against me. She was the closest best friend I had in this country, and I couldn't bear the thought of dragging her into my darkness.
And there was nothing she could do either. Not her, not even Ivan no matter what he claimed.
My throat tightened and I could feel her eyes on me.
"You can talk to me; you know?" Her voice was softer now.
What if she couldn't handle it? What if she looked at me differently? But wasn't she already seeing the cracks? The way I came back to her like a ghost, wearing clothes that didn't belong to me, with a heart that wasn't whole anymore.
I swallowed hard, trying to push down the fear. I owed her this much. But did I owe her the dangers that came with it?
"No." My sharp voice was unrecognisable to my own ears. My heart burned and so did my eyes as I turned away from her. "You don't have to act like my Mom, Alina. I know what's best for me."
Her breath hitched, I could feel her flinch, but I couldn't look at her, not now. The silence stretched and my chest heaved realising what I was saying.
She deserved better, someone whole. I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms, grounding myself in the pain as I pushed myself off the bed and walked towards the bathroom where I could cry and she wouldn't know anything.
"Sera-" I shut her voice slamming the door and walked to the small sink. Yes. Now it hurt less. It felt better, good even. I was able to save her. From me, from him, and from everything even if it was for a short moment. I had less than twenty-four hours, and after that, my life would change. For worst.
I had signed my soul to the devil, and now the clock was ticking.
I gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles almost turning white as I stared into the mirror.
Dark circles ringed my eyes, haunted and hollow. My face was gaunt, skin stretched tight over bone. I turned on the tap, splashing cold water on my face, trying to wash away the fear, the guilt, and the overwhelming feelings.
Whatever would happen tomorrow, I had to live with it. Or die with it.
Judas wouldn't stop, and before he could extend his claws to my family, I had no choice but to accept the fate.
********
I didn't feel like going to university today. And the day at the hostel was as bad. The warden said there was a package for me and my heart almost dropped in my guts when she handed me the box. It wasn't heavy but the fear stayed.
I stared at the box, heart pounding, fear clawing at my insides. What if he sent me someone's head this time? Limbs? The thought made my stomach churn, but I forced myself to breathe, to calm the storm raging within me. I had no choice. I had to open it.
The tape peeled away slowly, the sound grating against my nerves. I hesitated, fingers trembling, before finally lifting the lid. No blood. No flesh. Just two smaller boxes nestled inside.
Relief was fleeting, replaced by a cold dread as I reached for the first box. A small card lay atop it, pristine and elegant. I almost choked on the breath I sucked in.
Hotel Luxor, 9:00.
Kyle will pick you up.
The handwriting was neat, cursive, and refined contrasting to the man who'd sent it. The scent clung to the card-dark, musky, dangerous. His scent. It lingered in the air and wrapped around me like a noose.
I pushed back the fear, shoved it down where it couldn't control me, and moved to the second box. My fingers were less steady now, the dread coiling tighter as I lifted the lid.
Shock. Disgust. My eyes narrowed and bitterness lingered on my tongue as I lifted the fabric with my fingers.
Lingerie. Red, sheer, strings that barely covered anything. It lay there like he sent this to mock me of what little dignity I had left. The fabric burnt like lava against my skin, tainted with his sick intent.
My lips curled in revulsion, teeth grinding as anger surged and burned away the fear.
This was him. His control. His sick, twisted game. And I was the pawn.
I crumpled the card in my fist, the edges digging into my palm, but I didn't care.
But as much as I loathe it, the sickening realization settled in my gut. Tonight, the hell would begin and I had no way to escape it.
My eyes darted to the clock and it was already seven-thirty in the evening. The sky outside was dark and I threw the box against the door in frustration. What do I do now? Was this the end? Did I have to sleep with him? Oh, no. No, no, no. And if I didn't, he'd hurt my family.
He had left me with no choice. I have tripped off everything I had control over.
My phone rang somewhere in the room and I just stared at it. I didn't have to look twice to know who was calling me. When I didn't pick up, a message notification pinged and dread settled into my bones. Damn. That must be from Kyle.
I looked down at myself, I was still dressed in woollen trousers, and a loose sweater and then my eyes moved to the lingerie. He must be expecting to see me in them.
My hands shook as I reached for the phone and unlocked the screen, and there it was-a message from Kyle.
Kyle: I'll be there in fifteen minutes.
The bile rose in my throat and I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to scream, to throw the phone against the wall and run. But where would I go? What could I do?
I was trapped.
Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. But as I reached down to pick up the lingerie, the reality of what I was about to do hit me like a punch to the gut.
This wasn't just the end. This was a descent into hell, and there was no turning back.