"You are my light in the dark, my hope when I get hopeless and weary. May the Almighty continue to guide and protect you. And please, don't disappoint me. Focus solely on your studies and be the prestigious girl I raised !." My mum cries as she holds my face with her cranky hands full of blisters and she blesses me.
This melts my heart and I promise her to always put my students first, before any other things. Even if, I don't see anything that could distract me from that.
We are standing at the airport right now and my mum can't stop praying and blessing me. A child leaving this country and going abroad for studies. Is like the arrival of the Messiah on earth for an African mother. My mum can't stop picturing her future life. However, I'm happy to see her happy and relax, such days are rare.
I'm Sheila Stones, 23years old, my mum is a broken food seller back in our country, my dad died years ago. I just had the scholarship for an MBA in an American University and I'm super excited to discover this part of the world. I believe that life in this part of the world is like a fairy tale, anyway this is what I was made to believe. I'm excited to live the American's dream.
I love reading "love stories", though I can't even attempt to write one story, I'm damn poor at it. However, I love reading a lot. I'm a big dreamer, so reading helps me to live my dreams in my head and to picture the dramatic love story I will love to leave.
I have never really had a serious relationship back then, I always felt like my soul mate wasn't in my home country. "Hahaha, maybe frustration made me think so!."
But seriously, have you ever felt like what you want is nowhere to be found?. Like it's somewhere else but you don't know where?. That is how I have been feeling for 23yrs of my existence.
Here, I have the chance to start all over again, maybe what I have been searching for all these years is found here.
I will love to complete my MBA program, find a man who will truly love me for who I'm, get married, and have kids. I love kids.
I love stability, serenity, etc... and all that comes up with a happy marriage. Will, I ever find that here?. I heard that here, in America, they don't love to get married and when they ever do get married, is either a contract marriage or they end up divorcing after a few years, or months even.
OMG, I don't want that for me. I need something deep. Soul to soul. Love that no one, no paper can separate.
I think I'm one of these rare children who has a good memory of marriage. I use to admire the way my father took care of my mother. All the love and respect he gave her.
My father had a very busy schedule at work, yet he always managed to help my mum with some home chores. Things men in my country hardly do because they believe that a woman's duty is to be in the kitchen, washing, and cooking. And I'm strongly against the abuse of women.
My mum was married, yet independent to do whatever she wanted too. I'm not from a financially rich room, but I hard super hard-working parents, rich in love. And this truly inspired me.
.
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In the plane,
I had this weird sensation. I don't know what it was about but I felt it in my inward being. I didn't want to tell anybody, because it was unexplainable and I didn't want to call for useless attention on me.
And I guess it's because it was my first time.
But I had this same sensation whenever I take a lifter.
"Welcome to the USA!."
I fell on my knees and I kissed the ground.
"How can she kiss this dirty path!."
The people walking on the street wandered at my reactions. Even the man who was sent by the University to pick me up, he didn't believe his eyes.
They can't understand this filling of "life" like "Born again". But not only born again but born again in the best version of me
However, I was very eager and enthusiastic to even notice what I was doing at the time.
I just needed to feel the ground with my lips and to be sure that it wasn't a dream.
I'm in America
I can't still believe it.
.
.
In the USA
I have been here for two months, classes had just resume
"I can't believe this!. This room is splendid!."
I tell myself
I have never had such a clean and conducive place for myself. The room isn't that big but it's is all I had ever dreamt of.
My dream has come through. It's like I will have a heart attack. My heart is beating so fast. My Adrenaline product rate has increase ×100.
Have you ever heard of someone dying out of so much joy?. I think I might die of it soon.
This is more than a bomb to me.
I fall into my bed. I stare at my little office by my bed. I love the texture of the table.
Places here are so neat, I can even dish my food on the street to eat. Places are well established.
And my best is, everybody seems to mind their business. And I love that because I can do whatever I want without anybody judging me.
I would have loved to have my mother here, by me. We would have shared this excitement together. I missed her so much already.
She is very open-minded and very lovely.
Back where I came from it's not like this. Everybody minds everyone's business. If you dress in a kind of extravagant way, ever mother will talk to you as if you are their child. They will even yell at you on the street, making you feel uncomfortable or throw slangs and make sure you hear it. I hated that, I'm happy to be free of it too.
Though my skin completion makes a big difference and it easily distinguishes me from them. Anyway, I'm proud of my complexion.
My scholarship only covers my tuition fees for the next coming years and one year of housing on campus. With a one time pocket allows. Which after that, I would have to pay for everything myself.
.
.
"It's 7:50 am!.
I yell as I check my watch.
Quickly pick up my book. I have a class at 8 am. I don't want to be late on my first day.
I instantly step out of my room.
I jam in someone, we hit our self as my books fall on the floor.
"Hey, bitch look where you walk!."
she shouts
"What!."
I can't take it.
She calls me a bitch?. Does she know me?.
I won't take this.
I hostile get up to fight her, I want her to provoke me further and I will put her in her place.
"Hey!, mind your words!."
I want to hit her, but I remember that I am not in my country.
I hold myself!.
"Whatever!."
She rapidly works out of me.
"Wow!."
I quickly pick up my books and I run to my class.
"Calm down!."
I tell myself
.
.
It wasn't easy for me to find my class, luckily for me, the lecturer isn't in class, yet.
I entered the class, nearly all the seats are taken.
My legs are trembling, it's like the whole class is staring at me. However, that is how I fell.
"Thank God!."
Then I notice an empty seat.
I immediately move to the seat.
Guess who is seated next!.
I don't see any other good seat to exchange. So I have no other choice than to stay here beside her.
Beside the girl who called me a bitch!. I yearn to slaughter her.
As I am about to seat,
"Hey, you!. I think we meet earlier!."
She stops me.
I don't answer her and I take my perch.
"You don't...!."
She tries to speak.
But the lecturer enters in class and everywhere gets quiet.
"Thank God!."
I whisper
I don't want to speak to her, I don't want to lose myself and get involved in a fight this soon. I know this kind of girls...
"She called me a bitch!."
I can't get this out of my head.
So for her, I look like a prostitute.
I don't think I would ever forget this or even forgive her for this!.
The lectures are long and boring.
.
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After the class,
I immediately rush out of the class, not giving her the time to speak to me.
I don't want to have an unnecessary argue with her.
"Hey!."
She calls, chasing me
"Are you snubbing me?."
she stands right in front of me frowning but not seriously though. In a kind of playful manner.
"Please, get out of my way!."
I calmly warn her
Yet, she doesn't. She keeps obstructs my path. It's really annoying.
"Calm down with your resentment."
She gets apprehensive
"And if it's because of what happened earlier today, then, I am really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!."
She gives me a sorry silly stare
She looks really sorry.
"And she has apologised. It's the most important!."
I fall for it.