Chapter 231: LOOP OF GUILT

~CASSIUS

My heart dropped.

“You must be erased from this world if you truly love your brothers… and your mate…”

Before my brain could even finish processing all these, the darker version of me suddenly stabbed me.

Pain shot through me as I gasped, unable to believe my own end…

“What are you—” I tried to say, but blood spilled out of my mouth.

He turned the dagger, pushing it deeper till the sickening sound of my crushing bones filled the air.

I gasped as my eyes widened in horror. But he wasn't done.

He pulled out the dagger and proceeded to stab me even more like I was the villain in everyone's lives…

And every stab, reminded me of the very moment I became this villain while the words of the darker me, echoed like the theme song of my death…

“You are an abomination… a curse… the villain…”

As the pain of each assault went through my bones, I saw my last moments.

It wasn't filled with pain. It wasn't bloody…

It was the opposite— It was filled with laughter and love.

I saw my brothers laughing as we all messed around in the river…

I saw Dahlia smiling at me as she held me; “I love you so much, Cassius.”

My heart flipped and even my wolf soared. Everything was so perfect... So peaceful...

It was a world where my mother never died. My father was a happy man and the whole world only knew peace...

But the silver lining faded as I saw myself fading away from each of these happy scenes...

It felt like I was dying in each of their lives and they... they didn't even notice.

Because my brothers still messed around in the river... And Dahlia, she still whispered those words;

"I love you very much..."

But it wasn't to me.

I was completely erased...

Pain clutched my heart as it finally clicked— this was it.

This was how the world was supposed to be without me. Everyone else could have lived if I never existed…

They could have been fine without me…

“Yes, Cassius… you are their curse!” The darker me said and my eyes returned to him in shock...

"But I— I love them... I have always loved them..." I croaked in a broken voice.

"That's why you have to die!" With that, he gave me the final stab.

Darkness instantly covered my eyes and I felt myself falling into a void.

I was starting to accept my fate when everything distorted and rather than fall, I felt my body being pulled.

Within seconds, I gasped awake again. And this time, I wasn't standing before the screen barrier.

I was in some sort of temple.

And I wasn't alone.

Fire roamed outside, killing whoever stood in its path. And then, the screams started.

"No! Please! Help!" They chorused, trying to escape their death.

But it was hopeless.

I heard them as they met their death. And I felt it... not just their souls leaving, but their pain too.

Each burn... each stab on them poured right back into me like my guilt had become a magnet of pain.

It felt like a baggage on my chest that could never go away. Because I knew that I brought this upon them.

I made my brothers into beasts that destroyed the very people we swore to protect...

And the burden of the guilt only grew stronger with every cry that tore through the temple.

Yet I tried to stand strong. I tried to find a way to help them.

But it was all hopeless.

My presence only made the screams grow worse…

And just when I couldn't handle it anymore, the darker version of me came again.

Like a reminder of what I was. To what my existence caused… and how I could stop it.

A small part of me tried to be selfish. It wanted me to live... To survive this...

Maybe there was a chance to escape, but to what end?

What was the point of running, if I would only bring more pain to those I claimed to love?

It was pointless.

I looked at the darker version of me and stretched my hand to them; “I know what needs to be done for everyone's sake…”

He nodded in return and handed me the dagger.

I was shaking with pain. But I knew that I had to do this.

For the people I loved.

Without a blink, I slit my own throat.

Once again, darkness consumed me.

I started falling into the void… but just like before, it reversed and gasped awake again!

And this time, the pain from the guilt was even twice stronger than before.

The tears I tried so hard to control choked my throat as I collapsed to my knees.

"Please... Why can't I die?" I asked, turning to find my darker version. "Why isn't it working?"

But rather than see him, I saw my family. The broken version of them I had created.

And this shattered my very soul. The strength I had vanished and I broke.

“Vlad… Orion… I am sorry…” I whimpered as hot tears finally found escape, “Mother…. Dahlia… please forgive me…”

“All I wanted to do was to help… all I have ever wanted to do was to help…” my body shook violently from the inside as their twisted faces contorted before me.

I knew that they were not truly here. But wherever they were, they weren't far from this... And it was all because of me...

"And you can help them," My nemesis finally appeared.

But this time, his dagger was already in my hands. And I knew exactly what to do.

With one final look at what my loved ones had become, tremors of determination pumped through me.

“Please forgive me for this life. I hope that I never come back. I hope that you all become happy again…” I whispered before stabbing myself in the chest.

The trembling in my body intensified into violent spasm as I collapsed to my death.

This time, I didn't even feel the darknest. My body jerked back alive even faster than the other times, refusing to stay dead!

“No! No! Please let me die! Let me stay dead!” I cried, turning to the darker version of me. “Why can't I stay dead? I just need to stay dead… I can't bear this pain anymore… this sin— I can't carry it anymore… I am tired…”

The darker version of me drew closer. He knelt before me and whispered;

“This is your punishment for all the evil you did, Cassius. You must keep killing yourself like this if you truly want to save them…” he said.

My already trembling heart stopped as I stared back at him with wide eyes.

“Yes," he said, like he could hear my thoughts even before I processed them. "This place is your prison. But to keep them alive, you need to keep dying…”

The whole concept finally made sense. I was in a loop and my death could save my family.

With determination, I accepted my fate.

I held the dagger tightly and began to stab myself continuously.

“For mother…”

“For Father…”

“For Vlad…”

“For Orion…”

“For Dahlia…”

Blood drained from my body and covered the whole temple, yet I became numb to the pain—

Because if killing myself meant they all got to live, then I was going to do this forever… happily…

I continued chanting and stabbing even as my body caved in.

But I refused to give up— I had to die!