XVIII

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" Gio asked when Nina had left us.

I shook my head. I was gauging Gio's reaction to what Nina had called us, but it seemed he didn't think it was a big deal. So, I decided not to make a big deal out of it either. "No, I don't. Shall we head home?"

He nodded at me. I held his hand again, just like earlier. He looked over there, and for a moment, I thought he was going to let go of my hand, but he didn't. He tightened his grip before we walked out of the mall together. It might have been an ordinary day for most people, but for me, it was one of those days I would treasure in my memory. Because even though simple things happened that day, I was extremely happy.

"Gio..." I called to him when we were in the parking lot.

"Hmm?" He opened the car door for me. I was facing him, and I noticed he was waiting for what I had to say.

"Thank you..." I just felt the need to express my gratitude. It was a simple effort, but it meant a lot to me.

"For what?"

"For today. Thank you for coming with me and for defending me from my father. This is the first time someone stood up for me."

She raised an eyebrow but quickly returned to her previous demeanor.

"Is there no one defending you when he hurts you? When did he start mistreating you?"

He rested his arm on the car's hood. I didn't get inside yet.

"Aunt and Sienna are always there for me, but... they can't win against Dad either. I don't want them to be hurt by Dad, either. I know they would be the ones he'd hurt." I hesitated on whether to answer her last question. "Since my mom died."

Gio paused for a moment. "When did your mother die?"

I thought carefully, but I didn't remember much. I just knew I was very young at the time. "I was still a child."

"That long. And you didn't try to escape?"

"I tried so many times to escape-" My voice trembled, but I tried to stay strong. Gio had seen me cry once in front of him. I wouldn't let it happen again. "You saw the scar on my back, right?"

Gio didn't move or speak. I continued with what I wanted to say.

"That's a sign that I tried to escape from Dad. He caught me when I tried to run away and beat me. The scar is a reminder that I shouldn't try to escape because there's no way out for me."

Gio remained silent, staring at me. There was no change in the expression of his eyes, so I couldn't read his thoughts. Well, when had I ever been able to read his thoughts? Never.

"So, thank you for what you did earlier. I didn't expect you to do that." I changed the subject and wanted to end the conversation. The atmosphere was becoming too heavy.

"You don't have to thank me." Gio turned away from me to go to the driver's seat. "I am your husband. It's natural for me to protect you."

He paused in his steps and looked back at me.

"And no one can hurt my wife, not even your father."

Despite his serious expression, the butterflies in my stomach made me feel giddy.

"I think you need therapy. I will schedule you with a counselor tomorrow." I was taken aback by what he said. I didn't expect that.

"Gio, it's not necessary. I'm okay-"

"Just because you're convincing everyone, including yourself, that you're okay, doesn't mean you are. Millie, you're not. And if you need help, don't hesitate to ask for it."

I was deeply moved by his words, and the corners of my eyes warmed up.

I took a deep breath and nodded at him. I let him help me and find help for me.

Maybe I really need someone's help, but I'm just too afraid to ask for it.

I had a session with a counselor to seek help. Dr. Meghan Smith is my therapist. Over the course of a month, we've had several sessions.

I think Gio was right. I need help. Although I've only spoken to Dr. Meghan a few times, I'm starting to feel somewhat better. I haven't fully confronted my trauma yet, but I'm planning to. Healing is a process.

~*~

Nina and I are together now because we missed each other. We didn't have enough time to catch up the last time we met because Gio was with me.

"Tell me about your husband! How are you with him? Are you sure he's not hurting you? Appearance-wise, he's a god! He looks like a child of a Greek god, as if you can't believe he's here in the human world and not on Olympus!"

I shrugged at my friend Nina.

Gio gave me permission. He doesn't keep me locked up at home. However, I do have a horde of bodyguards with me who are currently not far from us.

I shared everything I've experienced under Gio's control over the past month with my friend.

"We're okay. Well, he's distant. You know, there's a barrier between us, and most of the time, his actions confuse me. One moment he's concerned, and then he suddenly turns cold. I can't read him-"

"Mixed signals!" Nina interjected. "That's not good."

I fell silent. That's exactly what I thought. Gio keeps sending me mixed signals, and my own emotions are getting confused every time he's around. I can't figure out where I stand.

"I know. But I want to understand him. Maybe he's just like me, someone with a traumatic past or a difficult childhood. I can still handle what Gio is doing. Rather than going back to my father, things would get worse. I can't leave them; if it's not Gio looking for me, it's my father. I don't want to... experience punishment for my actions-they classify my actions as bad," I preempted Nina as I saw the expression on her face.

For my father, everything I do is bad behavior. He never sees anything right in me. My entire existence is a mistake to him.

"So, for now, you're going to gaslight yourself? That's a good plan," she sarcastically remarked.

"I am not gaslighting myself," I shook my head. She raised an eyebrow. "Fine, maybe I often do, but... not now, Nina. Right now, I want to understand Gio more. Maybe he has his reasons. Everyone does, unless he's like my father, who hurts people just because he feels like it."

"Reasons? Even for not wanting to have children?"

I mentioned to her about that and about taking the pills. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.

"I mean, it's true that both of you don't want unplanned pregnancies. Family planning is important. It might be too early for both of you to think about having kids. First, your marriage was sudden. Second, you don't know each other well. Third, you don't love him. But the way he said those things to you, it's like he never wants to have children until he dies."

The third thing she said struck me. I don't love him? Why am I questioning myself? I didn't marry Gio because I love him. I was forced into this marriage. However... do I really have feelings for Gio? During the times he's always with me, I've also started to question that thought.