Chapter 35
Luke nodded in agreement. "That's what I was thinking too. I'll get the bank card back once I return from this business trip."
He suddenly seemed to think of something and looked up at me. "Don't tell Mom about this. She doesn't know yet, and I'm afraid she'll worry."
A bitter feeling rose in my heart, and I shook my head. "Don't worry, I'm not in contact with Mom."
Even if I wanted to call her, she definitely wouldn't want to answer.
Ever since I gave birth to Jessica, we haven't been in contact for all these years.
Luke looked at me deeply and said in a low voice, "Sue, don't be like this. Mom has her reasons."
"What reasons does she have?" I asked coldly.
The past I had deliberately ignored and forgotten surfaced in my mind.
From my earliest memories, I knew very clearly that Mom disliked me. She only loved Luke.
When we were little, Mom would fry eggs, but even though there were two children in the house, she only fried them for Luke.
Whenever there was good food at home, it was definitely for Luke.
Sometimes Luke would feel sorry for me and share some of his food with me.
Whenever that happened, Mom would stop Luke, staring at me with cold eyes and saying indifferently, "Don't give it to her. She doesn't deserve it."
When I was in kindergarten, Mom would always forget to pick me up.
I would stand alone at the kindergarten gate, watching helplessly as it got dark.
It wasn't until the teacher called to urge her that Mom would finally come over with an angry face and drag me home.
I thought Mom must really want to throw me away.
After all, she disliked me so much.
And every Christmas became my nightmare.
Mom would take Luke to buy new clothes, while I could only huddle in a corner, wearing ill-fitting clothes, secretly watching them with longing and envious eyes.
All my clothes were Luke's hand-me-downs.
Most of the time, Mom wouldn't take me along, only Luke.
They would spend the whole day out shopping, buying all kinds of snacks Luke loved.
While I stayed home hungry.
I didn't dare touch the snacks and fruit at home, because Mom would beat me if she found out.
Later in high school, Mom felt bad for Luke living at school and often brought him things.
All she gave me was a very small living allowance.
Sometimes Mom would forget to give me living expenses. I didn't dare ask for it and could only drink tap water at school.
It wasn't until I fainted from hunger in class that the homeroom teacher called Mom. Mom picked me up from school and started cursing at me on the way home.
This kind of life accompanied me throughout high school.
On the day I got into college, Mom stood in front of me coldly.
She said, "You're an adult now. I have no obligation to continue supporting you. From now on, I won't give you a single penny."
I understood that Mom disliked me.
I had understood this many years ago.
She wished I would die, but I stubbornly survived like a weed.
After starting college, I could earn money through various part-time jobs and no longer had to go hungry.
But I never went back to that so-called home again.
Until I was pregnant with Jessica and about to give birth, I returned home alone and begged Mom if she could take care of me for a few days after I gave birth to Jessica.
Just a few days would be enough. Once I recovered a bit, I would leave with Jessica and never bother her again.
But Mom just blocked the doorway, staring at me with extremely disgusted eyes.
She told me to get lost. She said I was pregnant out of wedlock and was a disgrace.
Those sharp insults were like knives, viciously cutting open wound after wound in my heart.
Years later, those old wounds were still bleeding.
The painful memories made my eyes turn red.
My thoughts were churning when Luke let out a long sigh.
"Sue, you're grown up now, and Mom is getting old. Don't dwell too much on the past. Go home and visit when you have time."
"Luke, you're overthinking it. Mom doesn't want to see me at all. She'd rather I died outside."
I wanted to smile it off.
Luke shook his head in denial. "How is that possible? Mom is getting older, and her thoughts will change. No matter what, we're family. Don't you understand?"
Sourness rampaged through my heart. I lowered my eyes and didn't look at him.
"You two are family. It has nothing to do with me."
From beginning to end, I was just an unwelcome outsider in that family.
I was redundant, despised.
The living room fell silent.
I took deep breaths silently, trying hard to calm my emotions.
"Sue." Luke suddenly called me, his tone full of undisguised disappointment.
"The way things are between you and Mom now, you can't blame it all on Mom. Haven't you reflected on your own problems?"
"You have a stubborn temper. Mom is an elder. Do you expect her to bow her head and apologize to you?"
"Four years of college, you never went home once. Even when I came to find you and pick you up, you wouldn't come. You never made a single phone call home. What do you expect Mom to do to treat you well?"
He emphasized his words, delivering his verdict. "With your personality, you should do some self-reflection."
I suddenly looked up, unable to suppress my feelings of grievance and anger any longer, staring at him with red eyes.
"Luke, you're really good at twisting the facts."
Luke frowned. He wanted to say something more, but when he met my bloodshot eyes, the words on the tip of his tongue just wouldn't come out.
Jessica ran out of the bedroom at that moment.
She had obviously been eavesdropping on the entire conversation. Her little face was tense as she shouted loudly, "Uncle Luke, please leave! You're not welcome in our home!"
Luke stood up with a dark expression, looked at me one last time, snorted coldly, and left.
The moment the door closed, I finally couldn't hold back my tears. They burst out.
I quickly turned around, frantically wiping away my tears.
"Jessica, you must be hungry. Mommy will go cook now."
I stood up and hurried toward the kitchen.
If I didn't find something to do, I was afraid the pain of the past would completely swallow me up.
Jessica followed behind me and hugged my leg while I was washing vegetables.
"Mommy, don't be sad. They're all bad people. Let's ignore them!"
My nose tingled, and tears fell uncontrollably.
I took a deep breath, held back my tears, squatted down, and held Jessica tightly in my arms. "Baby, thank you."
Jessica hugged me tightly, giving me warmth.
Her voice was childish but extremely serious. "Mommy is the best in my heart. Don't be sad, Mommy. I will always love you."
I nodded and let go of Jessica after collecting my emotions. "Okay, baby, I'm not sad anymore. I'll make you something delicious tonight."
"Yes! I love Mommy's cooking the most!"
I coaxed Jessica to go play in the living room, then stood quietly by myself for a while, letting myself completely break free from the sad emotions.