Chapter 99

Nicolas

Every single word I said to Nicol I meant, after last night I really couldn’t believe she did this all on her own and she had to work and I’m sure Nikki wasn’t even that sick. When she said you had to take it one day at a time, I realized this woman really really did love me and when she said ‘I love you more than I love myself I always have and I always will.’ My heart grew bigger and bigger in my chest with the love I had for her all the walls I’ve put up through the years all the feelings I had about her not phoning me not telling me, it disappeared because she could have had it easier if she just called but, she put her and Nikki through a single life a hard life with hard work to give me what I have. I actually fell to my knees in front of her and laid my head in her lap, clearly, she didn’t know what to do. So, she just touches my head “Nicolas what’s wrong?” I looked up at her. “I love you more than I can say Nicol and I forgive you.” I never thought in a million years I will forgive her so quickly but after the night I had with Nikki after I know what Nicol went through, I decided to stop with the resentment and appreciate what she did for me, I mean we can have more children if I want the whole experience can’t we? “You forgive me?” she asked shocked. I took her hands in mine “Yes Nicol, I forgive you and I want to thank you for what you did for me. You are right if my father knew I wouldn’t have all the things I do now. So, I forgive you. And besides we can have more kids if you want to?” I couldn’t believe I said that out loud. “I think you are sleep deprived.” She said smiling at me. “Why because I forgive you or that I want more children?” “The more children part.” “Don’t you want more?” “Off course I want more, I was wondering how to bring the subject up with you.” “Well now you don’t have to I did.” “Okay let’s get you to bed and then we can talk about everything after you had a few hours of sleep.” “You think I will change my mind?” “Maybe?” “We’ll see.”

I got of the floor and took Nicol by the hand pulling her up from her chair. I put my hands in her hair and pulled her towards me. I leaned in and kissed her, softly on the lips, I don’t think I was able to do anything else right now. “I love you, Nicol.” “I love you to Nicolas. Come let me take you to bed.” She took my hand and lead me to the bedroom, it was like I was a child, she put me to bed kissed me on the forehead and covered me with the duvet. “Sleep Nicolas we’ll talk later.” “I want you here with me.” “I’m just going to check on Nikki then I’ll come back.” “Okay.”

Nicol

I couldn’t believe the things Nicolas said to me the fact that he wanted more children and the fact that he forgave me, that was so huge I truly hope he meant everything he said. I went to Nikki’s room just to find her awake “Hi mom where’s dad?” “His sleeping angel.” “I want him here with me.” Clearly like father like daughter. “What about we go get into bed with dad?” “Yes please.” “But first let’s check your temperature.” It was normal thank God, “Will you carry me?” “Off course angel.” I know she was almost 12 so I will carry her whenever she wants me to carry her because when she strikes the number 12, she won’t want me to carry her anymore. I carried her to Nicolas room and put her in the middle of us. If Nicolas wanted to know how it is to have more children having them in your bed is one of the things that does happen. I laid Nikki in the middle of the bed and got in next to her. We were talking very softly to not wake Nicolas. “How are you feeling angel?” “Better than last night, just still tired.” “Then sleep angel.” “Why are you in dad’s bed?” she asked “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” “Okay.” Nikki fell asleep almost immediately me on the other hand was wondering what we are going to tell Nikki.

Nicolas

A few hours later I woke up with Nikki lying in my arms, I was confused for a minute was I in her room or mine, I looked around and saw I was clearly in my own bed, next to Nikki, Nicol was sleeping as well. I took the time just to look at my two girls. This felt so right the two of them in the bed, this is a family. Will we need a bigger bed when we have more kids? I wondered, what if all of them wanted to be in our bed? Nicol might think I was exhausted and that is why I said what I said but that was not the case I really wanted more children with Nicol but this time I need to do it right; this time we need to be married which means I need to ask her to marry me. All these thoughts were running around in my head when I felt Nikki stir in my arms. “Hi sweet pea.” I whispered I didn’t want to wake Nicol clearly; she was tired, everything was catching up with her. “Hi dad.” “How you feeling?” “Hungry.” “Then let’s get up and make you something to eat.” “Can I get coffee?” “Yes, sweet pea you can get some of your coffee.” I got out of bed with Nikki behind me. We tiptoed out of the room making sure we didn’t wake Nicol. Nicol turned around and covered her mom with the duvet before she walked out of the room. My heart just melted. This sweet child is mine. How lucky was I.