Chapter 56

Nicolas

As we walked into H&M Nikki dragged me to the kiddie’s department, clearly, she was here before. “Can I let go of your hand now?” “Yes, but you stay where I can see you.” “Okay.” She went straight to the sale items. She looked at the stuff but clearly, she didn’t see anything she liked, then she moved to the other items, I was watching her like a hawk, she would pick something up look at the price and put it down again, clearly Nicol could only afford stuff on sale. I knew which things she liked so I walked behind her and took them, she wasn’t looking at me at all. When she finally turned around to tell me “There is nothing here I like.” She saw all the cloths in my arms. “What is all that?” she asked. “The cloths you liked.” “But but you can’t buy all that it will cost a fortune.” “Nikki, I can afford it don’t stress.” “No, you can’t buy me all those cloths I will grow out of it.” Everything Nicol must have said to her. “Well then we will come here again and buy you other.” “But but …..” “Sweet Pea I really want to do this for you, please let me.” I had to try a new tactic; fuck I can buy this whole store if I wanted to. “If, you are sure.” “I’m sure sweet pea.” We walked to the check out points and a nice pair of ballet shoes caught my eye; I walked in that direction with Nikki behind me. “What do you think about these?” “I love them, they are so sparkly.” “Okay get your size.” “Seriously?” “Yes, sweet pea seriously.” She grabs her size then she took my hand and dragged me to the check out point, like she was telling me that was enough. I paid for everything which left us with a few bags. “Can I carry some of them?” “Yes, off course you can.” I gave her the lightest of the bunch and we left. She had a huge smile on her face, which made me very happy. “You ready for lunch?” “Yes please. At Serendipity, right?” “Yes, off course.”

When we got to the restaurant, I called Geoffrey to come and collect the bags I didn’t know what is going to happen when we leave here. She might want to walk other block or two and then we are stuck with the bags. She looked at the menu then she closed it again, “I thing we should rather go to McDonalds.” I took her hand, “Nikki don’t worry about what things cost today okay, I’m paying and I have more than enough to pay for anything you want.” “Really?” “Yes, really so eat whatever you want and if you see a nice dress or shoes or whatever when we walk then you tell me and I’ll buy it for you okay?” “Thank you, Nicolas.” “My pleasure Nikki now what do you want to eat?” “Can I get an ice tea and an American Cheese burger please?” “Yes, off course.” I ordered our drinks and food and I could see Nikki was itching to ask me something. “What’s wrong Nikki?” “Can I ask you something?” “Yes, off course you can ask me anything?” “Why do you think mom ran away from you? I mean she was probable scared? Why run?” I had to think about it I know what she told me and to tell you the truth talking to Nikki about this made me process everything as well because I had to put myself in Nikki’s shoes. “I think she was very scared, but I also think she did what she did because she thought it will be the best for me.” “Why didn’t she worry about herself and me?” “That is a very difficult thing to ask Nikki, I don’t think she didn’t worry about you I think you where the one person she was most worried about.” “But then why leave you?” That was the question I was struggling the most with, why leave me?

But when I thought about it and what she told me I started to understand. “When you love someone like really really love someone you put their needs before your own, like when your mom gives you more food to eat than what she does or when she gave up all her dreams to make sure you had food to eat, that is real love.” “And mommy loved you so much she gave up all those things for you?” “She did.” “So, you telling me I shouldn’t be mad with her?” “You can be mad if you want to Nikki, I’m still a little mad at her, I understand why she did what she did but it doesn’t mean I’m not mad at her she broke my heart when she left me. But remember she did it for you and me. Remember what she gave up for you then you’ll realized how much she really really loves you.” “I know she loves me I just can’t get over it that she told me you died.” “What else could she say that wouldn’t cause you to ask questions?” “But that’s the thing I always ask questions about you.” That was the second time she actually referred to me as her dad. “You can ask me anything Nikki, I’ll answer you to the best of my ability.” “I know I’m just still a little mad at her.” “Like I said Nikki it’s fine to be upset and even mad but remember what she does for you, I don’t think it is very comfortable at my place for her but she does it for you.” “Your place is so nice why wouldn’t she be comfortable.” “I don’t mean like in the comfort of the place I mean emotionally.” “Oh” I don’t think she understood but I wasn’t going to elaborate if I didn’t have to.

Our food came and I knew Nikki won’t be able to eat all that food but I’ll left her. She started with her fries still thinking, “Would you have been rich if mom stayed?” I almost spit out my ice tea, because that was the big question right, would my father give me the company or would he have disowned me. I didn’t want to believe Nicol when she said it but I really think she was right, he would have disowned me and sold the company. “Probably not.”