Chapter 113

Nicol

I felt like shit, like a bad mom and I had to hold back the tears. We went through my box of photo’s but there were just too much for Nikki, I could see she was getting tired. To say I kept everything I could, was an understatement. “Come angel you tired.” “But I still want to look through these.” “This box is not going anywhere you can still look at it whenever you want.” “Can I take one of the photos to school.” “Off course you can.” She picked the one she liked the most hugged Nicolas then me and went to her room. “I’ll come and tug you in just now angel.” “Okay mom, night dad.” “Night sweet pea.” When Nikki was out of earshot Nicolas asked me “Are you okay?” “Honestly no I’m not.” “Come here sweetheart.” He opened his arms to me but I knew if I crawl into his arms right now, I’ll cry and I need to make sure Nikki was okay first. “Can I first say goodnight to Nikki before I crawl into your arms and cry?” He bends forward and kissed me on the forehead “Yes I’m waiting for you right here.” That didn’t help much I wiped a tear from my cheek and walked into Nikki’s room. Nikki was already in bed. “You snug as a bug angel.” I said as I tugged her in. “Mom, I love you, I’m sorry if I heard your feelings?” I kissed her on the forehead “Don’t be sorry angel if someone says anything to you that makes you doubt me or your dad you need to tell us you shouldn’t want to keep it from us, you will only make yourself unhappy.” “I know I feel better after I told you.” “See that was the right thing to do.” “I love you very much Nikki and I’ll always be here for you to listen.” “Night mom.” I switch the light of and walked back to the living room.

Nicolas was standing with something in his hand when I came closer, I saw it was my CD of the movie Twilight with our song on, he was putting the CD into the CD player and press play on our song ‘A Thousand Years.’ “Can I have this dance.” I gave him my hand and he pulled me towards him, singing in my ear as the song went on “I’ve loved you for a thousand years and I’ll love you for a thousand more” I was crying into his chest so hard my shoulders where shacking as I sobbed, he just held me closer to him, when the song was finished he picked me up and carried me to the coach were I was still crying.

“Sweetheart you did what you thought was right don’t beat yourself up about it.” “But it’s biting me in the ass now. All I wanted was to give you the live you disserved and worked for Nicolas, I thought I was doing a great job raising her but I was going to come to you sooner than later and tell you.” “I know you would have Nicol I know.” I just kept on crying. “Don’t let this whole thing upset you like this, you did everything right and you did do a good job with Nikki at your own expense. You worked hard to give her everything you could don’t let that kid get under your skin as well.” “I can’t help it.” Nicolas was rubbing my back kissing my head trying to comfort me anyway he could. “While I’m this emotional I need to warn you about tomorrow.” “What about tomorrow?” “It’s about the doctor we are going to see Dominique Manno.” “The doctor that gave you his ticket to the gala?” “Yes.” “His very protective of me like you saw in the hospital.” “Yes, and I understand that.” “But he might give you the 3rd degree, he thinks getting pregnant while we are not married isn’t a good idea.” “Is that what he said?” “No not in so many words but he said it none the less. I think his afraid you will run when the baby cries for 24 hrs. straight and you don’t get your rest or if the baby is sick.” “I would never leave you Nicol.” “I know that his just looking out for me.” “Well then I just need to convince him wouldn’t I.” “As long as you are prepared for the questions.” “I am don’t you worry.” He wiped a tear from my cheek picked me up and walked with me. “Where are we going.” “Bed, you need rest clearly this was an emotional day for you.”

Nicolas

I got Nicol to undress and to get into bed, I pulled my PJ’s pants on and got in behind her, I pulled her back to my front and held her to me. “I love you Nicol don’t you ever forget it, and I forgive you. Don’t feel bad about anything do you understand me?” She didn’t answer “Nicol?” “Yes, yes I understand.” I kissed her in her neck and felt her falling asleep. She was clearly tired and emotionally drained I could only think after convincing the doctor I won’t leave her when we have a child and then Nikki questioning everything. I decided to make sure her phone is on silent so she could sleep in tomorrow morning while I drive with to take Nikki to school. I couldn’t fall asleep immediately I was wondering when I should ask her to marry me, I can’t do it on Valentines day because that is Nikki’s birthday, such a suitable day for her to be born because although she was conceived in an alley way she was conceived out of pure love which still leave me with the question when will I asked Nicol to marry me I need to do it soon I don’t want her to be pregnant and I didn’t ask her yet she needs to feel safe and secure in our relationship she needs to know I’m in this forever and ever. I fell asleep with that thought running through my mind.