Chapter 64: I Can’t Leave Like This!

CAROLINE.

My head was spinning, and I had difficulty standing upright because of dizziness. In addition, my body was experiencing aches and pains all over.

I could feel the venom of this vampire running through my body, and I wanted to repel it, as I didn’t want to be one of them and to live an eternity of pain, to carve for people’s blood to survive. I just wanted my life back.

I retreated to a corner of the room, away from their eyes as some looked at me curiously, others worried. Teresa, my dear friend Teresa! It wasn’t her fault.

She didn’t choose the life she was living, either. But the thought that now I was in these werewolves’ nests, being transformed into an outcast of the night, not knowing what death meant, was burning inside me.

I looked down at my hands; I didn’t see any difference, I just felt them freezing. They were still shaking, and it seemed to me that I could not control them.

“She will end up in delirium. She has no blood to feed with!” I heard that vampire as clearly as he told Bash, and although he whispered more to him, I heard as if he were beside me.

What did he mean to go into delirium? I was hungry but for blood. I could not resist this thirst that surrounded me, increasingly powerful and dangerous.

Then I turned my gaze to Teresa, to her neck, to be exact. That appetizing pulsing vein drove me insane and my fangs came out instantly, without me being able to stop them.

Then, with no warning, I simply jumped at her, intending to attack her. Only she was quick too, and so was the vampire, my executioner. His powerful arms chained me, making it impossible for me to move.

I made all kinds of sounds and struggled as much as I could while my body crushed against his, hard as a rock. The harder I struggled, the more I touched him, and my senses sharpened, including the smell.

Mixtures of musk and tobacco had penetrated so deep into my nostrils that for the moment I fell prey to this man. Then I felt his face buried in my hair, inhaling lightly.

“Calm down, please. You have nothing to fear. I’m here with you!” he whispered into my ear, and shivers ran through my entire body.

His masculine voice still resonated in my mind and, following it, I tried to calm down. It was damn hard for me, but the more I thought about it, the worse I felt as I had jumped on my best friend’s throat.

God, what was happening to me? I was no longer that innocent Caroline of yesterday. Rather, I had become a bloodthirsty demon.

“Caroline? Oh, my dear Caroline, what have I done to you?” cried Teresa, approaching me cautiously.

Her sadness stoned me as I thought about how guilty she must feel. But it wasn’t her fault. I wanted to tell her that, to hold her, but I was afraid of my reaction. I didn’t want to hurt any of them.

So, I calmed down, and Erik’s arms relaxed. Erik! Until now, I didn’t find his name so appealing and resonant. What was so different from now? I dismissed that thought and focused on Teresa’s question. A question as natural as it was tricky. She practically did nothing to me, she just took a decision that saved my life.

“If you allow me, I will feed her myself. We need a calm Caroline until we decide what to do next.” I heard the vampire’s voice again, still close to me.

Decide what to do with me? That didn’t sound good to me at all. And how would he feed me? Then I looked at his wrist that he had already torn with his own fangs.

The drops of blood had entered my system deep with their powerful smell so that my ability to control myself completely faded. I grabbed his arm with thirst and stuck my fangs so deep that a slight grimace appeared on Erik’s face.

I didn’t know exactly how he felt right now, but it was certainly not a pleasant feeling. And since I could not stop, its divine taste completely revived me and fed me with a power I did not yet know.

Erik was watching me, waiting for his next move. If I didn’t retire now, I could kill him. Was it a test to see if I could control myself? And if it was a test, I failed it with all the honors.

“That would be enough, little angel. You can stop now!”

But I couldn’t hear his words. This whole thing locked me in a bubble of time when only the present mattered. And my present meant here and now. My power increased ten times, and I didn’t think Erik was that strong.

I could hold him in place, to my delight. But maybe he didn’t even want to hurt me. He was an elder. And yet, I was weakening him more and more as I drank more of his blood.

Then I realized I was wrong. But I was no match for him. Pushing me slowly, he disconnected me from his wrist and, taking two steps back, my breathing became heavy.

I still wanted more, but for now, I could control myself. Erik’s wound closed in just three seconds, as it had not even been there. This man was wonderful! God, what’s wrong with me?

My senses were tens of times sharper, my vision also sharpened. I couldn’t control my sex appeal around him, and yet I was on the verge of not being able to stop. If I didn’t learn to control myself, I would eventually hurt someone.

“My friend, are you better now?” Teresa’s voice echoed again, but this time she never came closer.

It saddened me she took these precautions. I didn’t want to be a danger to her, but my words stubbornly refused to come out.

“She is much better, don’t worry! My blood will take effect immediately and she will relax. We will be able to talk to her. “

Erik’s tone of voice was friendly, despite what had happened earlier. Had I annoyed him and masked this very well? “But the danger is far from over. All her senses sharpened, her sight, her smell, her hearing became ten times stronger. Her taste changed completely, not feeling the need to consume normal food anymore, but only blood. Her will to restrain is currently null, equal to zero. It does not exist! Where she sees blood, she will feed with it. Her movements will be so fast that it will be difficult to keep up with her. The thirst for blood will worsen with each passing day and if she doesn’t know how to control it, she will make victims either voluntarily or involuntarily. She will not realize that she will endanger the lives of the ones she feeds on. Her human side no longer exists, she no longer has compassion, she will be a completely different Caroline. Cold, distant, dangerous. As same as you werewolves, silver is the only one that can kill her. Right through the heart and she is history. Draining her out of blood would also kill her. Ripping her head off is not an option either. She will die instantly. The rest, sunlight, holy water, crucifixes and garlic are legends. These won’t hurt her at all!”

Listening to all this, a wave of sadness surrounded me and, lowering my gaze, I withdrew my fangs. My bloody sight was probably not a pleasant thing to look at right now. The suffering in my body had already reached my soul. It was not physical anymore.

Coping with all this was my first step, but would I be able to deal with the next steps? The ones that followed felt like horror to me and as far as I heard Erik saying, this was about to get worse. Who was going to be there to help me?

Teresa could not approach me anymore without being hurt; Sebastian and his werewolves had little to do to help me and my condition. The only one left was the handsome Erik Von Hagen. Handsome?

Since when I was seeing this man that way? And more than that, who am I kidding? I will never get better. I was a menace to humans.

I had my mind shattered and also me as a person. Or what it left of me as a human being? I had no memories; I had no past, but only a dangerous present and an uncertain future.

A future in which I saw myself alone, outlawed, with no friends. Everyone who will try to approach me will disappear. I will see for that to happen. The weight of the responsibility to shape the future of those people rested on my shoulders, for I held the power to ruin it. I will be their nightmare by night and their death sentence by day.

Realizing this, I suddenly could not see my life with a purpose if what flows through my veins can be called life.

So, what I would have to do was to put an end to my pathetic existence, which from now on will only be a risk for those who will dare to approach me or will do it involuntarily. And launching into Eric’s arms, I begged him with all my bitter, icy heart.

“Erik, kill me! Please kill me! I just can’t live like this...”