Chapter 45: One Option Left

TERESA.

Ever since I came here, I’ve been feeling a little uneasy, like something bad was about to happen. I could only explain this feeling to myself as being directly involved in this situation that had long since overcome the barriers of logical understanding.

At a first glance, Alexei Stepanov seemed to be a man who could lend us a helping hand. He didn’t know all the details either, nor did I understand everything that was happening to me. My thoughts were mixed, and I was trying to pay attention to what Anya was telling me.

“… these pink roses that Mikael brought to me the last time he was in Sweden. I love them!” She continued wherever she went with the story. I was absent.

“Michael?”

“My dear, what’s wrong with you?” Are you ok? You are not yourself…” Anya whispered to me so close that I was the only one hearing her. I could see the worry in her eyes. Such a difference between her and Alexei, the ruthless mobster.

“Anya, my life is so complicated that I don’t even know where to tell you. It all started almost four years ago when I inadvertently poured a glass of red wine on Sebastian Gallagher’s white shirt. At that time, he was in a restaurant with an exquisite woman. I was there doing my job. I felt so bad, but I overcame the moment. And he seemed like he did too. But destiny was of a different opinion. After that event, I carried on with my job up to a point when I met him again in a park in Bellingham. Three years had passed since the wine thing. He was so upset, depressed, sad. He was sitting on a bench as if absent, with his face in his palms and looking up from time to time. It was obvious that he was suffering. I later found out that his fiancée and his unborn son had died. Passionate about photography, I wanted to take a picture of him, but I slipped and fell into the river that crossed the park. I have a hideous phobia of water and I panicked. After that, I remembered a little. I just woke up in Sebastian’s house, carried on. But because of this incident, I lost my job!” I sighed thoughtfully at the memory of the times when I was really at peace with my normal life.

“God, Teresa, you are worthy of a drama film, my dear,” Anya interrupted me with compassion.

I didn’t need anyone’s mercy, but looking at it from the outside, my life really looked like a movie subject and not exactly a successful biography.

“It doesn’t end here, unfortunately. After I lost my job so as not to be evicted from the apartment where I was renting, I went to make Sebastian Gallagher responsible for what happened to me because I had practically concluded that it was his fault. As a reward and probably to redeem his mistake, he offered me a job in his company, GenetiX. My big mistake was that I accepted,” I added almost in a whisper, watching Anya’s lips arch into a genuine smile.

“And that’s when you fell in love with him!”

Her statement didn’t bother me at all because I knew she was right. I had fallen in love like a teenager with this irresistible man and I had no cure. I didn’t even want to have it. It all started as a silly idea, but now I'm head over heels, and it hurts when he's not near me.

Sometimes he won't even kiss or touch me because he's scared, I'll turn him down. It hasn’t happened yet, but there were so many new things to accept that my body and mind got tired. Falling in love with him was the simple part, as I used to say.

This thought fooled me because if I admitted that all my being was shouting after him, I would catch fire only under his penetrating gaze, I would tremble under his touch and I would pray in my mind for him to dare more. Then everything fell apart, just like in a dream.

I kept telling myself that this accumulated tension would explode at some point, and the sparks between us would have turned into fireballs that erupted as if from the depths of two volcanos, that of our bodies.

“The sin of my life, Anya! No regrets, just find these edgy feelings intriguing. I feel like I’m not what I seem to be either!” I dropped this word because I had no one to complain to. Now I miss Caroline so much. I wonder what she’s doing and if she found out I’m in St. Petersburg? My series of questions got interrupted by Anya’s curiosity.

“What do you mean, Teresa? Maybe I can guide you somehow, although I don’t know how I could do it, considering that I’m just a mortal,” she said, puzzled that she couldn’t make me feel better. Talking about all this, I felt much lighter.

“Don’t worry that much, Anya. What He wrote to me is going to happen whether I want it or not. After the two attacks, I discovered with amazement that I can run quickly if you can understand me. At first, I thought it was adrenaline, but I really wasn’t afraid of the beast on my trail. I thought it was just in my rich imagination and I didn’t show interest. That’s when I saw Sebastian transform for the first time. When the beast attacked me the second time, I went to the park to see if what had happened to me was true. Again, I was surprised by what I could do. But not terrified!” I wanted to emphasize the last words because, paradoxically, it was like that. I also didn’t understand the conditions I was going through and how it was possible, being mortal not to be afraid of a two-meter beast that was running after me to get my blood, and that I could run faster than an ordinary human.

“How did you feel then?”

“Excuse me?” I was so lost in thoughts that Anya’s question seemed so complicated and yet so simple. I knew exactly what she meant. Only my heart refused to make connections. Reason had long been affected, and I could no longer resurrect it.

“How did you feel when you saw Sebastian transforming?” I was terrified of this question because I didn’t even know how I really felt. Was it fear? Maybe resignation? Or maybe neither. Or just a relief that another secret of his had been discovered, that I wouldn’t have to find out in any other way that would have hurt me more.

“I don’t even know what answer to give you, Anya. Ever since I met Sebastian, time has been my great enemy. Never too much to put my thoughts in order and to be able to avoid everyone who wants to hurt me, never too little when I spend it with him. He didn’t lie to me; he just hid another face of him from me until he felt it was time to reveal it. Although, if my life wasn’t in danger, maybe it wouldn’t happen then either. However, it happened. How did I feel? It was as if he had been taking my breath away. Like an overwhelming quiver. As if the earth shook and I fell into convulsions of pleasure. All this mixed and multiplied a hundred times. It was like my soul surrendered to his demon, not in a bad way but in a consuming vortex of desire, yearning for his touch and union in the very moment. "

“Wow, that much, huh? I feel you, Teresa. If I tell you the story of my life, maybe you would judge me.”

Anya’s face suddenly became sad, as if thinking about her mistakes in the past. Or maybe she just thought they were wrong. Anyway, I wasn’t the one to judge her.

“Hey, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and that is why we are not given the right to judge our close ones. And whatever you did, I’m not in a position to hold you accountable, Anya.”

But it was as if my answer did not fully satisfy her and she took her courage to give me an answer. It was as if she had done something so forbidden that they would judge her for her sins.

“Teresa, I’m in love with two men and I live with both of them!” recognizing this, on the contrary, determined me to see her as a brave woman. What’s wrong with loving? She had the courage to split her heart in two and now she was living an exciting love story. And yet I can’t face a single man. This thought made me smile slightly, drawing Anya’s attention.

“Hmm, it seems to me that your thoughts have a life of their own right now. Oh, Teresa, and I see you blush,” I didn’t even realize I was blushing. Maybe my thoughts were really sinful.

“Oh, no, it wasn’t about you, it was about me. I was thinking I couldn’t handle one man and you are facing two. Finally, until I put my life in order and find out who I am and why I run so fast and who knows what other skills I hide, I can’t think of love!” Suddenly, Anya’s face froze, looking curious but also intrigued in my eyes. She had thought of something, and after her expression, she certainly made me wonder.

“Anya? What happened?”

“My dear, don’t panic, but that you have such an ability makes me think of something. There are only two beings in this world with such traits, werewolves, and at how many full months they were, you haven’t turned so far. There is only one option left!”