Susan’s presence typically keeps me from visiting anyone at the lodge. I don’t understand how no one can see through her mask. Other than Johnnie, no one notices how she belittles me. Is it only in my mind?
Today is one of those unfortunate days. When there’s a pack event, everyone heads to the lodge. Half the pack is out, enjoying the lake as boats and jet skis cruise around.
There was zero input on the decision to come. No one can say no to Sarah.
“Tim’s helping at the shop,” Sarah informs.
“And he hasn’t broken anything?”
My brother is a hard worker, but a bath shop isn’t his usually stomping ground. Sarah has a way with words as every hops to her command. Her ability to control reminds me of Susan, but a much nicer version.
“He’s learning a lot,” Sarah defends.
I don’t mind if he’s at the shop. He’s been calmer this past month. I don’t know if it’s because of his fight with Adam or from all the time Sarah’s investing.
At least he has something to do. Without work or school, he’s aimless. Sarah knows what she’s doing and between her and Isaac, they’re squishing out his aggression.
“I heard Adam asked if you were going to be here today.”
“I heard Adam asks about me every time that I’m out of his site.”
I can’t tell if he’s possessive or worried. It’s intensified since the text message about Ben. Half his work hours involve him checking up on me. I’m beginning to wonder why he even goes to the office if he’s so concerned. The phone calls used to be awkward, now they’re just a nuisance.
If I’m out running, I might have ten to fifteen missed text or calls by the time I get back. That doesn’t take into account the calls other people get when he can’t find me.
Ben has been on my mind. Adam’s worried but his approach isn’t any less annoying.
“Yeah, that’s true,” Sarah replies her bubble bursting.
She’s received more calls than anyone. There was excitement at first but even she’s bored at his incessant questions.
The party at the lodge was his plan since he couldn’t get off work. He’s more relaxed when I’m being suffocated by the pack compared to alone.
“Do you want another one,” I ask waiving my empty bottle and deciding to let the conversation die.
Wolves and humans are all over the lake. The crowds barely part as I inch my way to the coolers. Each new group pulls me into a conversation. I should have sent Sarah. She might be tiny, but people instinctively move for her.
I take a moment to stare over the group. It’s strange that this is my new norm.
Popping the top off the bottles, I turn to two large, brown wolves blocking my path. They stare, looking bewildered and eager at the same time. Their smell is different. I’m pretty sure I haven’t met them before.
It’s disheartening as they stare. It’s starting to get so bad that wolves will wait outside my house, sometimes for hours, waiting to see me. Other packs are pressing their limits. It’s only a matter of time before Adam bites back.
“Excuse me.”
Their large bodies pummel me to the ground, knocking the air from my lungs. The beers smash as my arms race towards my face. Drool drips from their snapping teeth. My legs kick. Blood streams down my arms as the teeth continue to tear at my skin.
One moves lower. My legs flail, as the teeth dig into my stomach. Fangs pierce my neck. Every time I turn, they sink further into the muscle as blood splatters the grass.
My vision fades as snarls and growls echo around me. Paws move quickly as the weight of the wolves vanishes. I can’t do anything but hold my neck. With each pulse, blood squirts from the neck wound.
Why did they attack me?
The next moment I gain consciousness is in a car, held in the arms of a blurred figure as hands press against my abdomen and neck. I can’t feel the pressure. There’s too much pain to single out anyone’s touch. Blood splatters the car as more of it squirts on the passengers. The air smells heavily of fear.
In another instance, Johnnie shoves a tube into my mouth. I've learned not to drink any of his concoctions. My body tenses as I try to squirm away but someone keeps my weakened head and body still as the thick sappy liquid flows down my throat. My eyesight fades.
#
Last time I dreamt of being attacked it felt so real that it was hard to deduce if it happened or if it was fantasy. This time, I have no doubt that two brown wolves attacked me. My body aches, more throbs with pain.
Lying under the covers hurts just as much as lying in the grass. I still feel the fangs inside my neck, pulling at the ligaments and cutting through the jugular. Each time I swallow, tears form.
My fingers gently tap at the bandage on the neck. The entire area is tender and I’m afraid to get up and look in the mirror.
Bandages wrap my torso. It isn’t as bad as my neck. Every bit of my body tightens as sharp, jabs of pain sweep across my wounded body. I can’t believe he didn’t eat his way straight through and out the other side.
Next time the coolers need to be in a central location.
"Good, you’re finally awake," Johnnie says walking through the door, "How do you feel?"
My grumbling and grunting as I try to sit up answer his question. His expert hands sewed me shut. While his strange concoctions leave a bad taste in my mouth, I wouldn’t be alive without his medicine.
"You’ve been asleep for the better part of three days," Johnnie continues setting a bowl on the table next to me, "You need to eat."
"What happened," I half whine, as all the stitches pull.
I pause, trying to calm my breath before moving again.
"You were attacked by two wolves from an outside pack," Johnnie answers as I stop moving.
"Why?"
"Ehh," Johnnie answers, "There is one pack leader—"
“Ben?”
“Yes, Ben,” Johnnie practically spits the name. I don’t know the history but Johnnie’s pure hatred is a good indication that I never want to meet Ben, “The white wolf has always been a champion for our kind. Many want you to lead. They want what they think is an easier existence. There are others that seek power.”
"So why was I attacked? How did they get all the way to the lodge?”
No one doubted my safety at the lodge. I was in the middle of pack territory with Adam only a few miles away. If there was any concern Adam wouldn’t have left my side.
"You are a threat to everyone, even if you don't believe it. You are a myth walking among the living. You hold power, even if you cannot see it," Johnnie says in his slow way as he produces a light colored vial from his sweater and pours it into the soup, "The white line will be a threat to those in power until it is eradicated or until it takes its rightful place."
A knock stops Johnnie from continuing. Adam scowl, staring between the two of us.
"I would like to talk to Addie, alone.”
His expression intimidates me. I’ve never found him frightening. Well, maybe the first night when he shifted in front of me. Adam and Sarah keep apologizing but it really was the worst way to reveal their secret.
"You are the alpha," Johnnie answers with a wink before pausing at the door, "Don't feed her if you expect any answers.”
Adam remains in the middle of the room as I fidget under his gaze. Time crawls. My body hurts and I'm tired. The aroma from the soup smells amazing as my stomach begs with each rumble. The intensity of his stare isn't going to help the situation.
"What really happened at the lodge," I ask being the first to break the silence.
Adam shakes his head. I don't know what that means. As I try to process the fragmented memories, it leaves me more bewildered than ever.
"Does my mom know," I ask surprised that I’m not in my own house as she smothers me.
"She doesn’t know," Adam answers, the tension remaining on his face.
"Why isn’t Tim here," I ask confused by his silence and apparent anger at me.
"It’s my order for him to stay away from Johnnie’s home," He answers, "I thought it best for Tim and I not be around each other right now. I don't have the energy to deal with him while you’re injured."
I should have continued to sleep; it’s more exciting than this conversation. Maybe if I nod off, he won't notice. If I could lift one of my bruised arms, I could eat some of Johnnie's soup and be unconscious for another three days.
"Why are you staring at me like that?”
He checks his expression, giving a faint smile. After a deep breath, Adam sits next to the bed and takes the bowl from the side table. The spoon clinks against the rim, stirring Johnnie's liquid further into the broth.
"You should have been safe. I underestimated Ben. I put your life in danger.”
"It wasn't your fault," I reply.
Even as he sits here, I can feel the full effect of his anger. He’s a stone statue intimidating me with each passing second. I’ve never seen Adam angry. I don’t want to be around to see the retaliation for this attack.
"You don't know how close you came to death," Adam mumbles before returning to the soup, "I didn’t do my job. I failed you."
His expression hardens. I don’t know how to take away his guilt. He didn’t fail me. There’s no place safer than the lodge. I can’t fault anyone. My body hurts. I wish it didn’t happen but blame rests with one person.
“Ben’s using you as an excuse to win pack control. We’re trying to find him,” Adam begins making me wonder about wolf justice, “Ben is the main reason I haven’t officially told the other packs about you."
"What about Tim?”
Why is all this negative attention directed at me? There are two white wolves. Tim wasn’t there that day. Honestly, I don’t know where Tim was, but Adam isn’t tracking his every movement. It’s a double standard.
"Addie, we are a matriarchal society. The coloring moves through the female line, not the male line.”
Well that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about anytime soon. Isaac and Adam scare away all the other wolves.
"Tim had no problem trying to take power from you," I retort, knowing that his excuse is just that, an excuse.
Adam looks at the soup, "Addie, Tim is not a threat to anyone because he is the last white male. His control will last a generation. You are the future.”
I never thought my life would be reduced to a baby making machine.
Adam sighs and finishes stirring the soup. I open my mouth with anticipation of feeding my hungry belly. He doesn't seem so angry but sincere as he gives one spoonful after the next.
The room changes colors and begins to spin. Things move from one spot to the next. My limp arms are unable to stop the shapes that fly at me.
"Will you stay with me," I ask, trying to see Adam through the colors as the room morphs into different shapes.
He shakes his head, tucking the sheets, "I’m sorry but I need to go.”
#
The sun and moon take turns watching over me. I don’t have energy and quickly fall back to sleep regardless of how hard I struggle to stay conscious.
"Awake again," Johnnie's familiar voice asks while carrying another bowl of soup into the room, "You are healing nicely."
I nod, not feeling as beaten and broken. My neck is completely healed. My soft skin isn’t even marked from the stitches. My abdomen is a little sensitive but no longer bandaged. Wolves heal faster, apparently a lot faster.
This time, Johnnie doesn’t empty his special vial into the soup. He stirs it once before placing it on the nightstand. Now that I’m not being drugged, my arms maneuver through the act of feeding myself.
"We’ve learned a few things since you were last awake," Johnnie quietly says, as I devour the soup, "Ben has declared war on you and anyone giving you sanctuary."
I didn't know you could declare war on a person. It’s a good strategy. Now he can infiltrate any pack and break it apart. His hunger for power will be his downfall.
"What does that mean," I ask trying to pry information.
“Every wolf will choose how they want to shape the future. Their allegiance will pull our kind into the greatest war since the white wolf vanished.”
A knock catches my attention. Adam’s statue like appearance frames the door. He doesn’t look nearly as tired.
“You can take her home today,” Johnnie informs, “She needs one treatment to finish the healing process.”
Adam nods sitting in the chair as I greedily finish the soup. Johnnie’s in the other room as different scents waft through the air. Adam’s too quiet but has been since the attack.
“You need to step outside.”
Adam squeezes my hand before shutting the door. Johnnie proceeds to spend the next hour rubbing mint ointment that burns as it seeps into the wounds.
Trying not to scream, I clamp down, my jaw aching as my teeth grind together. Tears stream down my face as my body trembles. Johnny rhythmically applies his medicine. Each movement equivalent to being prodded with a burning metal rod.
After he finishes, I lay in the dimly lit room shaking as silent tears roll down my cheeks. I can’t move. My arms, neck, and abdomen pulse with pain. I want one of those vials and I don’t want to mix it with broth.
"Addie," Adam quietly calls and I open my swollen eyes, "I promise it’s all over." That's easy for him to say, he wasn’t the one being tortured, "It will help the skin heal and keep the wounds from scaring."
Scars are the last thing on my mind. Sam has a scar and he rocks it. I could do the same. I know they’re only trying to help but this is cruel punishment.
"Do you want me to take you home?”
I nod, afraid that if I try to speak, I’ll start bawling.
Inching me into the car is a challenge. There’s a sharp pain each time one of my abdominal muscle’s contracts. The guilt burns into Adam’s face with each caught breath.
The tension is thick even before walking into my home. Adam should have taken us to his townhouse. Now, we get to deal with a confrontation.
My brother paces with a wicked look in his eyes. Adam’s focus is entirely on me.
“Tim, I need your help,” Sarah’s bubbly voice calls from the kitchen.
He pauses, glares but doesn’t move an inch. Sarah skips into the room, her bright smile trying to warm the coldness out of the space.
“You let her get attacked,” Tim starts before Sarah can pull him into the other room, “A strong leader wouldn’t have let that happen.”
Adam doesn’t defend himself. He’s defeated, as he nods in agreement.
My mind is foggy from Johnnie’s treatment. Sarah continues to yank Tim by the arm to keep him from speaking.
“It won’t happen again,” Adam tries to reassure Tim.
"You couldn't keep Addie safe. You really haven’t since you lied to her and made her become a wolf," Tim heatedly accuses, hatred flaring in his eyes.
"Be careful Tim,” Sarah warns releasing him as she takes a step away.
Tim marches towards Adam.
“Tim, just walk away,” I yell.
Tim rolls his eyes before finally conceding. Adam guides me upstairs. Every movement pulls at the wounds.
“I can honestly say that one thing impresses me about today,” I says, pulling the sheets closer while watching Adam’s forehead crinkle, “I finally got you to use the door.”