Chapter 33: Thirty Three

'Take everything from the inside and throw it all away cause I swear for the last time I won't believe myself woith you.'

–Linkin park-

***

My limbs were boneless as I banged on the front door like a loan shark. I shivered in fear while the call on the phone was still going on. The air around me immediately became thinner, along with ringing in my ears, which caused severe pain in my head. My throat felt like it was being strangled, my eyes widened like someone having an asthma attack. The sound of my breathing was 'whimpering' when I heard Billy's voice calling my name as a naughty woman who could only satisfy himself."I know you're in there, darling!" Billy shouted in a deep voice, then laughed out loud as if something funny was in front of him. "Come on, Lizzie. Meet your father, baby girl!"

My head shook hard. How could he consider himself a father but rape his stepdaughter? Not to mention spreading rumors that I'm a crazy girl who hurts myself just because I don't want to lose him. The banging on the door stopped, but the voice on the phone still didn't stop. Even though it wasn't in loudspeaker mode, I heard Billy's voice say,

"You won't be able to catch me even if you ask Alexandre, Lizzie." He giggled, then sighed like someone was making him horny. "Oh, how do you look even more beautiful now? I'm jealous of Alexandre. He must be enjoying your body, right?""You're crazy, Billy!" I shouted with tears in my eyes. "You are crazy!"

"Crazy?" Billy laughed until his voice was shrill. "We're both crazy, darling. And there's something even crazier, Lizzie. Can you ask my children, Alexandre, for example? I'll go first, darling. Ensure there's no one in your apartment so I can make out with you like before."The call was just cut off, and the atmosphere suddenly fell silent, leaving only the sound of the cooling machine. I silenced my mouth when I heard Billy's statement. André? Alexandre Jhonson, the coffee master, is Billy Jenkins' son? So he was lying all this time? 

Suddenly, my heart pounded loudly, my vision suddenly became blurry, and everything went dark; the ringing in my ears became louder, and it was about to explode my head. I screamed to get rid of the suspicion that had always bothered me to make me realize that he was doing this for a purpose. It's true that if he asked his men to investigate Emilia, could it be that the bastard was trying to cover up Billy's depravity? On the other hand, I also remember our conversation at his house, where he said I wouldn't readily accept Andre after the most significant secret was revealed. Indeed, the fact that he was Billy Jenkis' son cut my heart to the deepest parts like a sharp knife heated over hot coals.

The next second, I heard the sound of the password combination behind the door ringing. Hurriedly stood up to get a kitchen knife, just in case Billy managed to break in. I brandished the sharp object without fear, even though my legs still couldn't support my body weight. Then, Andre's figure appeared with a red face and messy hair. His footsteps stopped with his chest rising and falling, looking at the knife I was holding and said, "Put the knife down, Elizabeth."

"You...you..." my voice shook, unable to face the man before me."I told you--"

"You're Billy Jenkins' son!" my scream echoed the apartment. "Bastard! You devil! You..."The man stood there, his mouth agape and his jaw tightened. I could see his hands clenched into tight fists; he walked closer without fear that my hand might stab him with a knife. Unfortunately, the expression and eyes turned so scary that my hand couldn't hold the kitchen knife, and it fell to the floor. Andre pushed and pounced on my mouth with his. I struggled intensely, but he didn't give me the slightest space.

His right hand gripped my face tightly and whispered, "Who do you think you are? Why can he enjoy your body, but I can't?"What?

Is it true that he is the Alexandre Jhonson I know as a man willing to risk his life for me? Is he the man who was so frustrated yesterday because of the terror attack? Why does he seem possessed by a demon that I don't recognize how he looks at me? I couldn't move; he held my hands tightly while they were numb, and one of his legs was between my legs."Let me go, bastard!"

"Bastard?" He repeated the sentence while squinting and then grinning, his gaze glinting and getting darker. "Let's see, who is the bastard, Ms. Khan."He carried my body on his shoulders, entered my room without permission, and locked it tightly. Andre threw my body onto the bed while I tried to escape, knowing where his actions would lead. Damn, he wrapped my body under him and pulled both hands up the head while taking out a rope from behind the pocket of the jeans he was wearing. My eyes widened; I begged him while crying but was ignored until he managed to tie my hands above the head of the mattress.

His lips greeted me again, touching mercilessly with his two hands gushing over every inch of my skin. Taking off his shirt and looking down again left many traces there. I held my breath when he managed to open the door to my defense there, tearing apart what I had been guarding after what happened fourteen years ago. Destroying self-esteem as if this body was no longer valid in his eyes and all the promises were just dreams."Did you enjoy it?" Andre's voice was hoarse, caressing my lower body, creating a tingle of fear and pleasure mixed into one. "You enjoy it, but your arrogant mouth always says no, Lizzie! Your body can't lie!"

Reflexively, I spat in his face. "Bastard!"The line of his lips tightened; Andre was furious and immediately turned my body so that my back was to him and forced my trousers down. In the next second, I received a barrage of attacks without pause, the curses in the room replaced with loud voices shouting each other's names. The sound of the cooling machine was overwhelmed with curses and groans. The cold temperature that was supposed to neutralize the tension was also unable to cool his emotions until he collapsed after releasing his anger at me, sending something inside his body and returning me to face him.

Andre hurriedly untied the knot, and next, I slapped him hard. The pain in my groin was less painful than the pride he had trampled on by doing something indecent without permission. He froze, taking slap after slap as if he was back to his old self after the release. The coffee guy. I pushed his body so that he rolled onto his right side and straightened my clothes while sobbing.

"Go..." I said in disappointment."Lizzie...I..."

"Go away, Andre!" I screamed, looking into his eyes. "You raped me! You defiled me! You... you... broke my trust, Andre..."The man got up and tried to get closer, but I moved back while embracing the body he had touched. My body is shaking, I need a sedative, or... maybe this life is no longer of any use when they don't appreciate the past; instead, they create new wounds on top of old wounds that don't heal. Poignant. I swear that just this once will be enough for me to set foot in Manhattan!

He left without saying a word after zipping up his pants, closing the door to my room with shuffling steps like a fighter who had just lost on the battlefield. When the main door was closed entirely, and he was completely gone, my body collapsed to the floor. I cried, screamed, and banged my head against the cupboard door while cursing myself why this kind of bad luck had to happen. What made Andre break his own words? What did I do wrong to him that he came to have sex with me?

With strength, I removed the suitcase from under the bed and packed my clothes. I'm going home and never coming back here. That's enough of what happened today. To hell with work! Fuck Andre! No man can be trusted in this world. Lord, can you take my life instead of having to suffer like this? I can't stand it anymore, God. Why do they only want this body? I'm broken, Lord, why don't you return me to your heaven?

Dragging the suitcase out of the room with unsteady steps, my mind was no longer apparent; it even felt like my body was no longer grounded on the earth. The pain between my thighs still hasn't disappeared, but the pain in my chest is getting worse until I hit it with my fist, hoping that the big rock inside will come out. Putting the paper on the living room table, I left the apartment while looking for a piece of self-worth I could take home. Manhattan and all its memories... this city is nothing more than a giant mound of salt that always makes my wounds never heal. I thought that by being here, the life I dreamed of would come true. I thought the love Andre was trying to show was sincere, without expecting any strings attached.

I raised my head, holding back the endless tears that kept falling. As I closed the apartment's main door, my lips smiled softly, hoping that Emilia wouldn't have to worry about me leaving now.