Chapter 9: Clear

|||YASMIN|||

His only wife.

He said the words with such confidence, such conviction and I was left staring blankly like a fool at my husband.

He'd just announced to the entire royal court that he was throwing me away.

Collective gasps echoed around the table, words weren't spoken but I could see everyone's eyes drifting to me.

Pity, mockery, satisfaction, those looks all blended into one.

It felt like being stripped bare in front of them, with nothing to shield me from their stares, from the shame that came with it.

My cheeks burned just as my heart did, pounding so fast I'd run out of breath just by sitting.

My fork fell out of my grasp and clattered on my dish.

I've been with Cassien four years. I left my home, my family, my responsibilities for a love I thought was meant for me, for a man who said he would give me the world.

Yet there I was, now the epitome of foolishness and bad decisions. More eyes were on me as some people muttered excited congratulations.

I saw Victoria's satisfied grin and Hana's red face as she smiled, accepting the compliments that were being thrown her way.

And Cassien?

He never once looked my way.

He held Hana, he held her with so much gentleness, looked at her with so much affection!

Something broke in me. I wasn't sure what but something broke. My heart felt like it was being torn to shreds, limbs frozen like they didn't belong to me and my ears rang.

I was in shock.

I heard the Alpha King giving his congratulations but his voice seemed far away, everything else did. All that remained was the barrage of emotions that swirled and consumed every part of me.

No. I can't cry here.

I shouldn't cry.

Before thinking about it, I rose abruptly, the sound of my chair scraping noisily against the floor before falling from the abrupt movement disrupted the growing chatter.

Silence fell and all eyes were on me again, digging into my skin as though a thousand needles were thrown at me.

The feeling of betrayal seemed to blur everything else, the feeling of anger only heightened every emotion. I didn't wait longer than a second before walking out of the Hall, my chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath. My heart aching, breaking, burning to ash as I moved my heavy feet further and further away from everything, from everyone.

Then I heard the hurried steps behind me, I heard a voice calling out my name and it ripped me out from the haze that blurred out everything.

I blinked and stopped in my tracks, but I didn't turn around. I couldn't turn around.

"Yasmin, please wait!" Cassien was behind me, catching up in a single moment, his fingers wrapped around my arms as he came to stand right in front of me. His touch cold, disgusting!

"Yasmin, I'm sorry...I should have spoken to you about it beforehand."

Don't cry.

Don't you dare fucking cry!

I raised my face just to meet his eyes.

I found those blue orbs wide and scared, teary as they looked down at me.

"I didn't have a choice, I never did." He shook his head, "The second Zeirik won the war, they've all been trying to push me out, to make him crown prince, after everything I've done for Elysium!" He shook his head, his grip on my arm turning almost painful.

"I had to do something, Yas...Hana's father is very powerful, he holds a lot of influence...if I have him as a father-in-law then--" His words stopped suddenly. He was looking at me, straight into my eyes.

"Yas?" He suddenly asked, his tone filled with uncertainty.

What was it he saw that made him stop?

"I'm really sorry, I never meant to embarrass you in such a way...I should have spoken to you in private first but you saw how my brother was, how fucking infuriating that dirt-blood is!" He seethed, still cautious.

Explaining himself like it could justify what he'd done.

"I plan on divorcing Hana once she gives birth, I assure you. The child will be ours and you'll be Luna, Yasmin!"

It all became so clear to me in that moment. Just how foolish I've been in the past four years.

I've spent all these years catering to his needs, both physically, emotionally. Being the available wife, the smart wife, the kind wife, the wife who helped him get more than half the pack's elders on his side, the wife who devoted every second of her day just to raise him up as Crown Prince.

The wife who gave up everything and let him take credit for everything I did just because I wanted him to be loved, be known.

Be the Alpha King as he's always wanted.

I loved him so much that Cassien became my life's purpose, my only reason for existing.

Foolishly, I abandoned logic over and over again just to fit into his life, into the box he'd built for me.

"Yas? Please say something, anything!" He pleaded, his voice trembling.

It was all clear to me in that moment.

"Did you ever love me, Cassien?" My voice was steady at first, not a hint of the turmoil that ravaged my insides.

"What? Of course I love you, Yas, what are you saying?!" He shook me, sounding outraged by the fact that I would even ask.

I laughed.

He wasn't the joke, it was me. I was the punchline, the first line...a complete joke.

"Yas?"

I smiled, "Do you remember what I left behind just to be your mate? Just to come to Elysium?"

His eyes widened a fraction, and I saw fear in them...then he huffed. "It was always your choice, I never made you do anything!"

"Yes, you're right. Everything I did...was all for you but it was my choice, because I thought you were it," I shook my head, "I was wrong," I sighed, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

"What are you saying, Yasmin?" His voice turned cold, "Are you saying I'm a mistake?"

"I'm saying I can't keep giving everything I have to you, Cassien," I laughed, the sound bitter, full of resentment and pain.

"I'm saying I cannot and will not be with a man who is unfaithful to me, a man who will toss me aside just because he's afraid of losing power!"

"What?!" He let go of my arms as though my skin scalded him.

"I cannot be with a man who never considers my feelings when he takes actions, I cannot be with a man who doesn't love me as much as I love him," The last words left me brokenly, I took a step back, my trembling body unable to bear the proximity between us.

"So, what are you saying, Yasmin?"

"I'm saying..." I exhaled shakily, "...I want a divorce, and I intend to get one before you marry your mistress!"

Cassien snapped.