Chapter 47: Renee

I raised the glass of wine to my lips as I watched Aaron flit around the kitchen, humming softly under his breath as he checked the temperature of the chicken searing in the pan on top of the stove. The cute little cooking apron I’d gotten for him one Christmas was tied around his waist. He looked right at home.

“I told you I’d cook,” I said again, crossing my legs at the ankles as I leaned back in the kitchen chair to watch him. I took another sip of my drink as Aaron glanced at me with a wink that sent a shiver of want down my spine. Even after all these years, a simple gesture like watching one of my men cook dinner still got me all hot and bothered.

“Baby, I love you,” said Aaron, pulling a tray of garlic bread from the oven. “But cooking is not one of your strong suits and I think we both know it.”

“Ouch,” I teased. “But then again, for all you know, I’m a wonderful cook who has just been playing the three of you so I don’t have to.”

“Even if that’s the case, I love you more for it.” Aaron crossed the kitchen to take my cheeks between his fingers, leaning in for a kiss. He rested his lips on mine, lingering, before turning back to focus on the food, leaving me silently begging for more. I loved when he was in a good mood, and today he was exceptionally elated after his meeting with the art critique. I was overjoyed for him, and I wanted to make sure he knew that. He deserved the recognition, and I intended to make that clear to him.

“More wine, my love?” he asked, tipping the bottle over my glass to tip me off. The heat from the booze was rising to my neck and cheeks, leaving me flushed and eager to pick up once again where we’d left off earlier in his art studio.

“You spoil me,” I murmured as Aaron switched off the over burners and plated our food. He hung the apron back on the wall and joined me at the dining room table. A candle was lit, the small flame flickering in the middle, and the cozy quiet in the house was intoxicating. “This is lovely,” I said, reaching across the table to rest my hand on top of Aaron’s. “Thank you for this. I know we don’t always have quality time together.”

“Matt and Jake need to work the same nights more often,” Aaron teased, squeezing my hand. “They somehow always manage to make nights like these less than romantic.”

“I know.” I took a bite of the chicken breast and moaned, relishing in the savory flavor. “They are romantic in their own way, you know. But nobody does it quite like you.” I winked, raising a finger to my lips. “Don’t tell them I said that.”

“I love you, Ren,” said Aaron, and my heart seemed to jump a beat.

“I love you, too. And I’m so, so proud of you.”

On the table near my hand, my cell phone buzzed, alerting me of a text. For a moment I ignored it, dedicating my focus on Aaron. But then it buzzed again.

“Go ahead and check it,” he said with a sigh. “You have to make sure it’s nothing urgent.”

With a suppressed groan I picked it up and glanced at the screen. It was a text from Matt, asking if I was planning on dropping by the station tonight for dinner and a visit. Instead of answering I blackened the screen and pushed the phone aside, but Aaron’s curious, prodding gaze stayed pinned on me.

“Well?” he asked, and I shook my head.

“Not important.”

“Does someone need attention?”

“Don’t they always?” I teased, but I could sense the bitter note in his voice, and it left a crack in my heart. Recently, it was becoming more and more difficult it seemed to split my time equally between my three men. It didn’t matter that we lived together. Lives were busy, and time was short. I felt like no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t please everybody.

“So is it Matt or Jake?” Aaron pressed. I put down my fork and reached for the glass of wine again, taking a longer than necessary swallow.

“Doesn’t matter,” I said again. “Tonight I’m with you.”

Aaron said nothing to this, only continued to eat, but he wasn’t fooling anyone with the way his nose nearly touched his plate. I sighed, feeling my appetite diminish as the tension in the air thickened. I leaned back in my chair with the glass of wine in my hand, staring Aaron down.

“What?” he asked after a few minutes, raising his eyes to meet mine. I shook my head and sighed, refilling my own glass with the half-empty bottle of wine.

“It just seems like you three are becoming more and more jeaous of each other,” I said with a soft sigh. “Matt and Jake aren’t even here, and yet they’ve somehow managed to ruin this dinner.”

Aaron scoffed, sitting up straighter before pushing his plate aside to focus his gaze on me. “You know I don’t compare to Jake and Matt,” he said. “I never have. I’ve always been the third wheel, so to speak, and we all know it.”

“You have not,” I insisted. “You’re special to me, Aaron. Just as special as Jake and Matt. All three of you are in your own ways. You know this.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, reaching for his own glass of wine and taking a healthy swig. When he set it back down, I noticed the gentle tremble of his hand. “I just—sometimes I get tired of sharing you,” he said with a shrug. “Sometimes, when we’re having dinner together, or making love, I don’t want to remember that you’ve been fucking Matt and Jake, too. Or that maybe they’re on your mind instead of me.”

I stared at him, speechless. Aaron rarely lost his temper to the point of calling me out or making me feel like shit, so I was surprised by his sudden outburst.

“When I’m with you, I’m thinking of you,” I insisted, reaching across the table for his hand. “And when I’m with them, I’m thinking of them.” An icy jolt of sadness overcame me when Aaron pulled his hand away, refusing me. He was staring at the table-top. He wouldn’t even look at me. “Aaron,” I begged, pulling my hand back. “Please, look at me.”

He shook his head and cleared his throat, reaching for another drink from his glass. “It’s fine,” he said quickly, trying to brush it off like a piece of lint. “Honestly, Ren, this is what we signed up for, right? I have no room to complain, none at all. I have the love of a girl that I would do anything for, that I would die for, and if that means sharing that love with my best friends, then so be it.” He stood abruptly from his chair, so quickly that he almost knocked it over. I stood up, too, ready to cross around the table and wrap myself around him, but Aaron put up his hands, warning me off.

“I love you,” I said, hating the desperation in my voice. “I love all of you. Can’t that be okay?”

“It is,” he promised, but his tone wasn’t convincing. “I’m just feeling overwhelmed suddenly,” he continued, taking his plate to the garbage to clean it off. “I need a shower and some sleep.”

“That’s fine. How about I clean up and then come and join you?”

Aaron smiled, but it was forced. He only met my gaze for a brief second before turning away again. “Sure, Ren,” he said, not sounding convinced. “Thanks.”