Chapter 56

**TW: DV, SA. Thoughts of suicide**

**Megan**

Darkness. That's all I have been seeing for the past few hours. He locked me in the cupboard under the stairs and only opened it up to hurt me. I’ve been here a few days as I could hear the T.V a couple of times and the news so I knew what time it was and what day it was.

It's Tuesday today. I have been in this cupboard since late Saturday, so four days. It is really late. I heard the six o'clock news and the eleven o'clock news, so it is probably Wednesday now.

"Megs," I hear him sing. I squeeze my eyes shut, praying that I'm just hearing things.

The sound of the key going into the lock of the door and turning rings through my ears like thunder. I wish he would just throw that key away and leave me be. The door opens, and my breath catches in my throat as he throws a bucket of ice-cold water over my body.

"Good, you're awake," he says. I shiver but keep in my corner. He kneels and moves closer to me.

"Please no more," I mumble. He reaches forward and grabs my hands that he had tied up and chained so I can't even put them on the handle of the door. "No please I'll be good I promise" I cry "I won't go near him again, I'll move classes I'll do anything please" I plead.

"Shut up" he hisses as he backhands me. My dirty, matted hair falls in front of my face, and more tears fall as he takes my hands and drags me up onto my knees. He reaches down, and I look down to see what he is doing. I watch as he puts a key into the padlock and unlocks the padlock letting the chains loose. Then he grabs my hands, unties them and takes the chains off to pull me up. He picks me up and carries me out of the cupboard.

I look back into the cupboard to see what is actually in there, and it is pictures—pictures of me, the ones he made me pose for on the wide wall and the camera in the top left corner that he told me about. A feeling of sickness grows in my stomach, and I would throw up if I had anything in my stomach, so I throw up.

Ashamed doesn't sum up how I felt as he took those pictures of me. He had taken them when he forced me to have a shower in front of him and when he would threaten to do the same thing to my best friend if I didn't touch myself for him. Other pictures were just me laying lifeless on the floor in a bloody mess after he had finished with me, others when I'm sitting naked in a corner quivering in fear from him. He is a monster, I despise him for taking over the father that I loved and hated for losing the battle in his head against this monster.

He drops me onto the couch and walks off. A few seconds later he walks in with some clothes in his hands. I watch as he comes over to me and sits down next to my numb body. He pulls me up by my arm and I let out a whimper of pain and he starts to put the clothes on me.

Once he is done dressing me he makes me sit up and walks off into the kitchen. I can't move so it is useless in trying to escape. After so many minutes he returns with a bowl that has a spoon in it. He sits down next to me and stirs whatever is in the bowl.

"Because you've been a good girl and you've now learnt your lesson. You can go to school tomorrow," he states. I gulp down the lump in my throat and slowly turn to look at him.

"Is it Thursday tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes," he says. I sigh and nod. He stirs the stuff in the bowl one more time, "Open your mouth," he orderS. I do what he says and he moves the spoon into my mouth. The taste of oatmeal mixed with sugar fills my mouth. "Is it too hot?" he asks. I shake my head, "good," he says and feeds me some more.

After he finishes feeding me he picks me up again and carries me up the stairs and into my room. He lays me on my bed and then walks out. Several minutes later he walks back in with a glass of water with a straw in it and tablets. He sits on my bed and holds the tablets in front of me "it's a sleeping tablet," he states. I open my mouth and he puts the tablet in my mouth and the straw to my dry crack lips and I take a drink. "Get some sleep" he says and moves the covers over my body and walks out closing the curtain that is now my door. Once I hear his footsteps go downstairs I speak.

"What the hell?" I croak and slowly close my eyes knowing not to take his kindness as actual kindness he will want something in return.

Thursday

I had practically slept all day yesterday, he came up twice to wake me up and make me eat some more oatmeal and take some vitamin tablets and have a drink of water. It’s weird and nice all at the same time to have him acting like a dad for once.

"Sweetheart are you up?" I hear my dad call from downstairs.

"Yeah" I call back and pinned my hair back with a hair clip and walked out of my room with my stuff. I walk into the kitchen to see a stack of pancakes on a plate and bacon and egg on another. "Are you feeling better?" he asks. I frown slightly, "You don't still feel sick do you?" he asks. What is he talking about? "Oh you do, I knew it was too early for you to go back to school" he states. "Go back to bed and rest, I'll bring you your food up to you,"

"Eh, what no, I feel fine, I'm just erm day dreaming" I state "that's all," I state.

"Oh good, not that you were day dreaming because that is a bad habit, but the fact you are feeling fine," he says with a small smile and sits down at his seat. I sit down too and watch as he starts to eat. I slowly start to eat my breakfast and watch him at the same time. This is so weird I haven't been in the company of Jonathon for ages. It feels like he had disappeared like he had been pushed out by Benjamin.

Once I finish my breakfast I head up to my room "I'll be down in a minute," I call to him. Instead of going into my room I head into his. He had taken my mom's necklace off me and I want it back. I also want something else and that is out of this hell. Locking me in that cupboard is too far. I have never been so scared in my life but hopefully it won't happen again.

I walk into his room and search his bedside table and then his main drawers. I sigh and put my hands on my hips and then the closet catches my eye. I walk over and open it, I gulp slightly as I look at the closet. It is so narrow and small and I really don't want to go in there. I sigh and take a deep breath, the chances of it being in here is very slim but I need to look.

"Sweetheart, are you ok?"I hear my dad say from behind me. I jump and turn to look at him "Are you looking for something?" he asks.

"Urm...my necklace" I state.

"Which one sweets?" he says walking into his bathroom.

"Urm the one mom left me" I say. I figure it is safe to say, as he isn't Benjamin right now.

"Oh..."

"Yeah, you took it off me," I inform. He walks back in, wiping his mouth and frowning at me.

"Why would I..." he trail off realising "Oh..." he says and stands in front of me "Urm I'll help you" he says walking past me.

"Urm you look in the closet I'll look out here" I say and slowly look around.

"Sweetheart," he calls after so many minutes. I turn and walk to the doorway of the closet to see him standing and holding my necklace. "Come here I'll put it on for you" he says. I gulp a little and slowly make my way into the closet and then once I'm close enough I turn so my back is to him. "Sweetheart you're shaking" he states. I sigh and look down as he moves the necklace in front of me.

"Well, I'm scared of you" I state quietly. There is silence as he moves the necklace round my neck and clips it together.

Once he has done it he walks past me "I'll go wait in the car" he mumbles and walks out of his room. I sigh and run out of the closet. I hate it, it is scary. I shiver and walk back into my room for my bag and then walk down the stairs and out the front door locking it behind me. "Sweetheart, did you lock up?" my father asks as I climb into the car. I nod "Good" he mutters and start the car.

Looking out the window I seeMr Peters walking out of his aunt and uncle's house. He puts a cigarette in his mouth as he shrugs on his jacket. I watch as he walks to his car. His gaze moves up as my dad starts the car and immediately his eyes meet mine. I gulp a little and look down at my lap as I can feel him staring at us as my father drives out of the driveway and down the street. I turn my head slightly and I see him getting in his car.

"Isn't that your new teacher?" My father asks. I turn and look at him to see him looking at me. I nod and look down "I'm sorry sweetheart" he says.

"It's fine" I mumble and he goes to hold my hand but I flinch and move away from him. "Urm I need to go to the pharmacy" I state. He gives me a confused look "for my pill and other things" I mutter.

"Oh, ok," After about five minutes he pulls up outside the pharmacy "don't be long I have a meeting in twenty minutes" he states.

"Ok" I murmured and climbed out of the car. I look behind us a little to see Mr Peters park his car. I sigh and walk into the pharmacy.