Chapter 38

Mr Peters

I didn't want her to go home, to a place where someone acted like they hated her. She told me to drop her off many times while I drove her home, and I knew why. She could probably feel how angry I was, but how was I supposed to feel? He is hurting her in ways unimaginable. I don't even know how a man could do that to a girl without feeling some sort of guilt or shame.

My mind runs riot as I drive to the hospital. I have to try to keep myself calm while I drive to the hospital and focus on just driving to the hospital because if I don't, I am going to turn around and drive to her house and beat the living shit out of her dad. Staying in my car and having a destination is the best thing I can do. I could go home, but chances are I will annoy Carl, and it will be him punching me this time. If I go to the hospital and visit Stephanie, I will calm down and keep my mind from thinking of Megan.

I pull up in the hospital car park, take my key from the ignition and let out a frustrated sigh. "You idiot," I mutter and slowly get out of the car and walk into the hospital.

"Hey, Logan," greets one of the nurses. I smile at her, and she smiles back.

"Nice to see you, Logan," one of the doctors greets. This goes on the entire time it takes me to walk to the ward Stephanie is in. Some of the doctors and nurses gave me a nod rather than fully speaking to me, which is perfectly fine with me.

I stand outside her room and watch as she reads the book I brought her the last time I was here. I sigh and knock on the door and then open it. She smiles instantly and closes her book.

"Logan," she says, tilting her head a little and making her dark brown hair move over her face "I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow?" she asks. I just smile at her and walk towards her.

"Can I not come on this day?" I ask, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well..." she says "what if I had another man here?" she says with a small smile.

"Then I would have to throw him out the window and watch him plunge to his death, and you will have to put up with no book from me for another month," I say, smiling back. She giggles and closes her book. Her light brown eyes scan my body and then she sighs and looks out the window.

"How is that girl you told me about?" she asks. I sigh slightly and look down at my lap. "Is her dad still been an arse?" she asks.

"He kicked her out last night," I state. She looks at me, "I saw her while taking Max for a run. She was at the park with all her stuff, crying her eyes out," I say and look at her. She pats the bed for me to lay next to her. I smile, lay down beside her, and pull her close. She lays her head on my chest and taps my chest with her index finger.

"Tell me everything," she says quietly.

"Stephanie, I don't," she cuts me off.

"Logan, I've told you before I want to know what happens in every minute of your life," she says quietly. "And stop holding back. I know you care for her, and I'm glad you do," she says. I sigh and go to say something.

"Yeah, ok, she's your student, and it's your duty to care for your student's safety, but she means more to you than a student," she explains. "And don't try to deny it" she adds on. I sigh and look up at the ceiling. "Now, c'mon, tell me what happened," she says. I sigh and start to tell her everything.

"Why can't you report it?" she asks.

"Because she hasn't told me exactly, she told her boyfriend, and it'll be hearsay and like you said last time I told you, she'll most likely deny it and then what? I'll be out of a job and have no chance of helping her then," I explained.

"But she told you that night when she was drunk," she says

"Yeah, and what happened after that? Steph, she could say I'm lying because she turned me down."

"But she didn't," she huffs. I can tell she is getting angry.

"Steph, I have thought about every way I can to try and help her, but I can't because every time she's told me something or shown me something, I've done something a teacher shouldn't do" I say

"Well, next time, glue your lips together and tie your hands around your back," she says. I chuckle, and so does she. "You like her, though," I sigh slightly. "It's ok to like her, I mean, I'm expecting you to like another girl when, and I'm expecting you to fall in love at some point with someone else; after all, I'm no use to you in here," she says.

"Steph, it's only you I'll ever love," I say, sitting up and looking down at her. She sighs slightly, and I can see this conversation going to exactly what we talk about all the time.

"I won't be here forever, Logan. I need to die, Logan," she says.

"No...No, you don't," I say, frowning. "I'll find a way so that you can survive the operation. I've been studying medicine for a while, and I am going to come across something where you will survive the operation," she sighs and looks away from me.

"I hate you for this," she says. My mouth gapes open a little. She has never told me she hates me "I just want to die, Logan. Why won't you let me?" she says angrily.

"You aren't listening to me," I say

"You aren't listening to me. Do you not understand anymore, Logan? I don't want to live," she snapped. "Watching you live a life I can’t live is hard for me. I am 23 years old, and I am completely dependant on other people. Even if I were to survive the operation, I’ve been bed-bound for that long I won’t ever be able to walk. I just can’t live like this anymore," she says and turns her head away from me.

"I know," I say, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"So why won't you?" she asks quietly now.

"I don't want to be the one to kill you," I say quietly. "And well, I need you," I say, moving back down and putting my hands around her. "I'm sorry," I say quietly. she sighs and puts her hands on mine. I know I’m being selfish, but letting her go is scary.

"It's ok," I can tell by the sound of her voice she is crying, and truth be told I want to cry too. I hate myself for doing this, but I'm too much of a coward to let her go.

"I love you," I say, holding her close to me. She just sighs at me, she stopped telling me she loved me a while ago, but I don't need her to say it to me anymore I know she does.