Chapter 34

The room is silent the whole time I'm cleaning her back. She had to undo her bra for me to clean it properly and bandage it up properly. She didn't make a sound the whole time even when I thought I'd hurting her.

"It's not as bad as it seems," she says quietly.

"Whatever," I mutter. I'm pissed off; it is obvious who did this. Why won't she just admit it to me? If anything I am not angry at her, I'm angry at her so-called dad.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Why do you always say sorry for nothing?" I ask.

"I've made you angry so I have to say sorry," she says almost robotically "when I have made someone do something or feel something they do not want to feel or do then it is only right for me to say sorry,"

"You're not the reason I'm angry," I say and take my hand off her back now I have finished taping the antiseptic cloth to her back. She turns to look at me and leans forward and kisses my cheek.

"It's nice to hear that for once," she mutters and turns so she isn't facing me. I gulp and turn her by her arm and lean in to kiss her. She kisses me back perfectly and presses her hand on my chest. I pull back and kiss her jaw line and then her neck. "No! Stop! Get off me!" she screams. I quickly pull away and take my hands off her.

"I'm sorry" I quickly back away from her "I'm really sorry, I didn't" I can't finish my sentence. The way she is looking at me makes me want to kick myself in the head. She looks scared and in pain.

"I got the pizza," I hear Carl's voice echo in the room "sorry I took so long the place is busy and-" he cuts off when he sees us. Megan is crying and is still in her bra. "What's going on?" he asks, walking closer to us and placing the pizza's on the table. "Megan are you ok?" he asks while looking at her.

"Yeah" she cries and practically runs into my bedroom shutting the door behind her.

"What the hell did you do?" Carl snaps at me.

"I just..." I look at him "I couldn't help it" I say looking up at him.

"So you fucking forced yourself on her," he yells.

"No," I say frowning and standing up "I didn't, I just kissed her,"

"Well it fucking didn't look like that, if you just kissed her" he snaps.

"What are you trying to say?" I snap back.

"What it sounds like. I'm not stupid Logan you're always thinking about her and the way you look at her, she's your god damn student and you want to fucking fuck her" he’s looking at me like I disgust him.

"No I don't," I responded "I..." I trail off

"Are you telling me you care about her now?" he asks. I stay quiet and look down "This is just fucking amusing," he says walking off into the kitchen. I could hear him slamming about so he is obviously pissed off. He stormed back into the room "She can't stay here," he says looking at me.

"Well where is she supposed to stay?" I snap, standing up.

"Tell her to go fucking home, I'm not having you perving on her," he snaps.

"You act as if I'm some fucking paedophile" I yell.

"Well you're about a fucking step away" he retort. I clench my fists and before I can stop myself I'm lunging forward and my fist collides with his face. He lands on the floor and I look down at him.

"She's not leaving here" He wipes the blood from his nose and look up at me "if you don't fucking like it you leave" I growl.

"It's ok," I hear Megan say. I turn to see she has a different top on now "I'll go to Melanie's. I'm sorry," she says and lifts her bag up and starts to walk to the door.

"No" I say "It's too late now it's about half ten, eleven o'clock,"

"It's fine," she says once she got to the door.

"Carl. Tell her she can stay," I say turning to him to see he is now standing up. He looks away from me "it's the middle of the night she can't walk back to her area at this time," he sighs and walks over to her.

"He's right, you can't go, plus it's fun having you around," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down. "I'm sorry" and he moves forward as if he is going to hug her. She backs away from him fully and looks away. His eyes slowly move to me as if to say what the hell.

"I'm sorry I caused you both to argue," she says looking down a little "It isn't his fault, it is my own" she says "you should go eat, I'm not allowed...I mean I'm not hungry" she corrects herself. He takes her bag out of her hands "Where am I sleeping?" she asks

"In my room" I say.

"Ok. Thank you," and she walks off into my room.

**Megan**

Why does this keep happening? Someone touches me and I instantly get scared and start to cry or scream. I didn't mean to cause them to argue. It isn't his fault about what I just did. It is mine, it's always my fault when something bad happens and I'm there. Like my father says I'm a curse, a living breathing curse.

I wipe the tear that rolls down my cheek and look at the clock. It is two in the morning so I'm most likely not going to get any sleep tonight. I never get much sleep so I can cope. I reach into my bag and take out a vitamin tablet and take it. I walk around his room. He is quite a tidy person, there are no clothes on the floor and the bed is made perfectly. Well it probably was before I came here. Carl brought me the duvet so I had made his bed again as I wasn't sleeping in it.

My phone vibrates against the bedside table and takes me out of my thinking trance. I turn my attention to it. I look to see ‘Dad’ blinking at me; I pick it up straight away.

"Megs, where are you?" he asks. I gulp slightly "I'll come and get you, I'm sorry for kicking you out" he says. I stay silent for a minute "I'll make it up to you,” he pauses. "We'll play a game when you come back, it'll be a good game, a game where we can both have fun," he tauntS. Tears run down my cheeks..

"I...I can't come home right now," I say trying to sound like I'm not crying "tomorrow I will come home," I say

"No," he snaps. I close my eyes and take a deep breath "I want you home now...I need you Megs," he admits but I can hear the smirk in his voice. "I need you so bad" I already knew what he meant when he said he wants to play a game we'd both enjoy, but this just clarifies what he means.

"I um," I can't finish my sentence. I hang my head. I'm so ashamed of myself, that I always do what he wants and always agree to play these 'fun' games and always tell him that they were 'fun' to me when they aren't.

They're painful and horrific.

"I can't play this game on my own, it would be no fun Megs, come home," he says.

More tears fall from my eyes and my vision blurred from them. I couldn't hold back a little whimper; I couldn't take much more of this. I'm breaking down and he is helping me.

I'm about to answer when I feel arms go round my shoulders and the phone get taken out of my hand. "Come here," the man that I have become sort-of friends with says. I look at him and slowly move my arms around his body. I hear my phone beep which indicates he hung up on my father and for once I don't feel like I have done a terrible thing.

I drop on my knees and he crouches down putting his arms back around me "Please tell me what's going on Megan," he says.

"I can't" I cry and hold him closer to me. I notice Carl standing at the doorway looking at us. "I'm just having a bad time," I say. "All teenagers go through bad times at home," I say "Mine are just coming all at once," I say trying to stop him from asking me again or pushing me to tell him. It is true. All my bad times are coming in these past two years. First I lose a parent, second my other parent starts to hate me, third I lose my virginity when I really don't want to and fourth I break up with my boyfriend and finally I'm falling for my teacher.

My eyes widen at the thought and I look at him. Am I falling for him? He lookS down at me and strokes my cheek. A nervous feeling slowly starts to stir in my stomach and I can feel myself heating up. I quickly look away from him. I'm falling for him. Great another problem I need to add to my list.

I look to where Carl is standing to see him turn and walk out of the room shutting the door behind him. I turn back to Logan and put my head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat, his hand moving up and down my arm and him holding my hand, with his thumb stroking across my skin makes me relax.

"I can help," he soothes.

"You're helping by hugging me," I state. I feel his lips curve on my head. He reaches up and pulls the duvet down over us both.

"I want to help more," he mutters. I turn to look at him "Please let me Megan," he pleads.

I sigh and think of a way to stop him from asking these questions. I know by now he is suspicious of my father and with him being my teacher he could get my father done so I had to put him in the wrong direction.

"Those marks on my back," I say looking down.

"Yeah," he says, moving closer to me and stroking my hand more.

"I did it to myself," I say, still not looking up at him. I hear him sigh a little, this would probably make him refer me to the school counsellor but I can deal with that. "I did them to punish myself for letting that boy at the party I went to rape me and take my virginity," I slowly start to cry. The tears aren't fake.. "When I had practically promised Tyler he'd be my first," I cry and slowly look at him to see him look away from me. "This is why I don't want you to ask questions," I state. He looks at me now and for the first time I can tell he is angry at me. I quickly look down "I'm sorry I've made you angry," I say and take my hand out of his. "It's just…I self-harm a lot and normally I just cut but that isn't doing enough for me so now I've gone to other ways and that's working for me. My father kicked me out because all I do is cause trouble for him and that's all I've ever done, since my mom died. I mean I come home drunk nearly every weekend and when he called me out of school it was because he found drugs in my room" I lie. The lies just keep coming and I can't stop. "Hence the weight loss," I say looking down on myself.

He stays silent for what seemed an eternity "Ok, if you don’t want to tell me the truth, I’m not going to force you to," he finally says and moves his arm back around me and pulls me to his chest. Guilt slowly creeps in.