Chapter 30: The Plea

LILAC

Kael's presence seems to swallow the room, his gaze fixed on me with an intensity that makes the air feel thick and unyielding. His chuckle is low, barely audible—a surprising, sad sound that seems to slip past his usual guarded demeanor. There’s something in his expression, a softness I don’t often see, as if he’s allowing himself a moment of vulnerability, only to immediately shroud it behind a mask again.

"You think I’m cruel?" His voice is low, almost reverent, as though he’s trying to process the words himself.

He’s moving toward me now, his strides measured and purposeful, each one making the room feel smaller. His hair, usually tied back, falls loose around his shoulders in soft waves. The dark gray locks brush against his jawline, framing his face in a way that makes him look almost… human. Yet, there’s still that unshakable reminder of his power, a reminder that I’m in the presence of a predator.

I can feel my heart racing, my earlier burst of courage evaporating like mist in the morning sun. I stammer, struggling to keep my voice steady. "I… I don't know. I just… don’t understand you."

The corner of his mouth quirks up, but there’s no warmth in it. "No? You don't understand me, and yet you judge me." His eyes narrow, as if he’s studying me, dissecting every flicker of emotion on my face. "You've already made up your mind about me, haven’t you?"

He’s right, and I can’t deny it. I have made assumptions about him, about who he is and what he feels, based on the way he behaves. But that’s all I have to go on—he’s given me nothing else, no insight into his true self, and I’m left to guess at the intentions behind his actions. Still, his words sting, and a spark of frustration rises within me.

"I don’t know you," I snap, unable to hold back any longer. "You don’t let me know you! How am I supposed to understand anything when you come and go as you please, talk to me when you want to, smile at me like you’re hiding something? I’m left alone to navigate this world you dragged me into, while you play with my emotions like they’re nothing. So yes, maybe I do think you’re cruel."

For a moment, he’s silent, absorbing my words. His face is inscrutable, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—surprise, perhaps? Or maybe something deeper, something he’s not ready to admit. I can see the tension in his jaw, the slight clench of his fists at his sides. I half expect him to lash out, to dismiss my words with some cold retort, but instead, he just sighs, a weary sound that seems to echo in the quiet room.

"I will never play on your emotions," he says softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"Then what are you doing now, Kael?" I reply, my voice wavering. "If this isn’t playing with my emotions, then what is it? Can’t we at least try to be friends? Just… something real? Something I can hold onto, so I don’t feel like I’m drowning every time you walk away?"

He takes a step back, raking his hands through his hair, clearly agitated. His eyes dart around the room, as if he’s searching for an escape, a way out of this conversation. "You don’t understand what you’re asking for," he mutters, his voice barely audible. "Friendship, that’s not… that’s not something I can offer you, Lilac."

"Why not?" I step closer, feeling a surge of desperation. "Why can’t we be friends, Kael? Why does it have to be this… this constant push and pull?"

He inhales sharply, his gaze snapping back to mine. "Because I don’t want to stop at just friendship." His voice is rough, like gravel, each word filled with a raw honesty that takes me by surprise. "If we were friends, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I wouldn’t be able to keep my distance. Is that what you want, Lilac? For me to lose control around you?"

There’s a weight to his words, a gravity that sends a shiver down my spine. I can feel the heat of his gaze, the barely restrained intensity in his eyes, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe. My heart pounds in my chest, each beat echoing in my ears, as I struggle to process what he’s just said.

"Then don’t," I whisper, the words slipping out before I can stop them. "Don’t hold back. I’m here, Kael. I’m right here."

For a moment, he just stares at me, his expression unreadable. His eyes seem to darken, the golden hue swirling with something primal, something dangerous. He looks like he’s on the verge of losing control, of giving in to whatever feelings he’s been holding back, and I can feel my own resolve wavering. I don’t know what I’m asking for, not really, but I know I don’t want him to leave. Not again.

But just as quickly as the moment flares between us, he pulls back, his expression hardening. "You don’t know what you’re asking for," he says again, his voice a strained whisper. "You have no idea what I’m capable of, Lilac. This… this isn’t a game."

"I know that," I reply, my voice barely more than a whisper. "I know this isn’t a game, Kael. I just… I just want to know you. Is that really too much to ask?"

He looks at me, a mixture of frustration and longing in his eyes, and for a moment, I think he might give in, that he might actually let me in. But then he takes a step back, his expression closing off once again.

"Give me time, Princess. Please." His voice is quiet, almost pleading, and before I can respond, he turns and disappears into his room, leaving me standing alone in the empty hallway.

I feel a surge of disappointment, a hollow ache in my chest as I watch him go. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I angrily brush them away, frustrated with myself for letting him affect me so deeply. Was it really too much to ask for a little honesty, a little vulnerability? I can’t keep doing this, this endless cycle of hope and disappointment, of reaching out only to be pushed away. But even as I tell myself to let it go, to harden my heart against him, I know it’s a lie. Because no matter how much he hurts me, a part of me will always be drawn to him, to the warmth hidden beneath his cold exterior.

\---

The next morning dawns gray and somber, a fitting reflection of my mood. I barely slept, tossing and turning in my bed, haunted by fragments of a dream I can’t fully remember. There was a woman, a child, a shadowy figure with a dagger… and that familiar crest, the one I’ve seen before. It lingers in my mind, a hazy reminder of something I can’t quite grasp, like a memory just out of reach.

With a groan, I sit up, rubbing my temples as I try to shake off the remnants of sleep. My head throbs, and I press my palms against my eyes, willing the headache to fade. It’s no use—I can’t remember the dream, and trying to recall it only makes the ache worse.

I dress quickly, pulling on a simple sweater and jeans, and make my way downstairs. Sam is bustling around the kitchen, setting out breakfast. He looks up as I enter, giving me a warm smile.

"Good morning, Lilac," he says, his tone cheerful.

"Morning, Sam," I reply, managing a small smile in return. I glance around, but there’s no sign of Kael. I can only assume he’s already left, off on whatever mysterious business keeps him occupied.

Just as I’m finishing breakfast, my phone buzzes with a message from Issy.

Issy: Hey sunshine! I can’t get you to school today, you won’t mind coming alone would you?

Me: Of course. Take care of yourself.

I pocket my phone with a sigh. I’ve become so dependent on Issy, always relying on her to show me the way, to be my guide in this unfamiliar world. But now, I’m on my own.

The doorbell rings, and I jump, the sound startling me out of my thoughts. I hurry to the door, opening it to find Roman standing on the doorstep, looking as composed and stoic as ever.

"Good morning," I say, offering him a polite nod.

"Good morning, Princess Lilac." He inclines his head respectfully. "Prince Kael has given me the keys to his car to drive you to school today."

I can’t help the pang of disappointment at the reminder that Kael is gone, off somewhere without a word. But I push the feeling aside, nodding at Roman as I grab my backpack and follow him to the car.