Chapter 13: CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Monday had come a little too early for Savannah. She had the hardest time getting the boys dressed because her hand was stiff. She sat in her office, a small ice pack on her knuckles. They were bruised a little and still slightly swollen from hitting Sandra. A small smile crept across her lips. It felt good to hit Sandra. The smug look on Sandra’s face had pissed her off and though she was not normally a fighter, she had some frustrations to let go of.

She had confirmed her appointment with her doctor earlier that morning to discuss her test results from the second test they had performed. They tried their best to convince her not to worry, but second tests were not just for kicks and giggles. She could read between the lines for what the nurse didn’t say.

So that was it. Her life was over before it really began. She had things that she wanted to do. Raise her kids. Travel. Start a hobby. Maybe run a marathon. Get married again. She didn’t see how she could do any of those things after chemo. She had heard how tired it made a person and how weak they were afterwards. How could she still be a mother to her sons? Anyone’s wife? How could she still be her?

Putting the ice pack on her desk, she stretched her fingers. Even though it felt good, she was still embarrassed by her behavior. All her hard work had been wasted, all because of a man. He wasn’t even her boyfriend, so she didn’t really have a reason to be upset. Besides, he had seen her with Thomas a few nights before so what could she really say about him being mad?

She had been furious when Sandra showed up to his house. It was all just becoming a big headache. It would be better for the both of them to just cut their losses and move on. It was why she had spent her time after Thomas as a single woman.

“You have another delivery, Ms. Dennis.” her assistant called through the intercom.

Savannah looked around her office at the many bouquets of flowers. Dwight had been calling her since Saturday night, leaving messages, pleading with her to let him explain. Savannah was torn between answering and letting him suffer. Kim suggested that Savannah should have him kidnapped and beat up in the back of an old van. Even though she was mad, the idea of him being hurt didn’t appeal to her. She did still care about him. And she had no idea what happens to one when they are trapped in the back of an old van. She didn’t need that guilt with all that she was dealing with.

Savannah had not made up her mind about what to do with him. She was more focused on the livelihood of her and her kids. She was sure that Dean had heard about it by now and was even more sure that Duncan Clark had backed out of the deal. No sooner had Dean entered her thoughts than he entered her office.

“I love to hear the latest gossip just like the next person. But when I hear that one of my employees was throwing down in the driveway of a client’s home, I can’t tell you how unnerved I am. Now tell me what I am supposed to do here?”

“I can’t tell you that. But whatever you feel you have to do, I understand.” She looked at him.

“I want you out of the office by the end of the day. Oh, and Savannah, just think of all the perks you could have had if you had just come down off your high horse and got with the program. We wouldn’t be talking about you getting fired.” Dean paused and looked down at his nails. “Such a shame too. You had so much potential.” He slid out of her office. Savannah bit her lip and refused to cry. She also refused to work the rest of the day. No need for her to give away free work.

She walked over to her closet and grabbed the same box she used when she first arrived in her new office. Thankfully she had been putting money on the side so that would take care of them for a little while. Her mind went frantic when she thought about not having health insurance to pay for her treatments if she needed them. The cost would burn up her little savings and then where would that leave her and the boys? She wanted to burn something. She thought about sending in an anonymous letter to human resources telling them about his proposal to her. But everyone would think that she only did it because she got fired. Not the way she wanted to leave things. Besides, it was her own stupid actions that led to her being unemployed.

Her assistant Michelle appeared at her side. “I just heard. He had no right.” She picked up a frame from Savannah’s desk and handed it to her.

“Thank you. You’ve been a great help all these years. Stay away from Dean. He’s fishing.”

“Knock, knock.”

The two women looked up just as Duncan came into Savannah’s office. He was carrying the boys’ backpack. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.” He sat the bag on a chair.

“Oh no. Not at all.” Savannah tucked the box under her chair, but not before it caught Duncan’s eye. “Michelle, that will be all, thank you.”

Savannah waited until her assistant left the office. “Mr. Clarke. I’m sorry about my behavior at your house.”

“I didn’t come here to fuss at you or anything. I could have done that over the phone. But I am here on behalf of my nephew and to tell you why I am glad you came that day.” He paused. “You mind if I sit down?”

She gestured to the chair by her desk and sat in her chair.

“How long had you known him before the party?”

“Like I said just a few months. We met at Walmart. He was having some issues with Izzy.”

Duncan smiled. “Izzy. You guys must have been working on something special, huh?”

“Trying to. Slowly but surely. He came by a few weeks ago and he saw my sons’ father there. I hadn’t talked to him since then and then I saw him with Sandra.”

“Yea. Dwight has always been book smart. We never had a problem with him as far as grades go. It was when he discovered girls that we had to worry. Poor thing was always being chased home by some girl he rubbed the wrong way. No common sense. He made a mistake and he wanted me to talk to you for him.”

“Well, you can tell him that I accept his apology, but he doesn’t have to worry about calling me.”

“I can surely understand your frustration and anger. But you should see him. He’s all broken down and he hasn’t talked to Sandra since. Her calls have been directed to my secretary who fields the calls about Izzy for right now. He swears that nothing happened between them. He’s always told me the truth.”

“I don’t think I want to see him.”

“I’m not going to make any more excuses for him. But at least hear him out. I’m sure there will be no more problems out of her.” He paused. “What is the box for?”

“I… umm. I was fired today. My boss heard about what happened at your place and told me to leave before the day was out.” She pulled the box from under her desk.

“Oh no. We can’t have that. I’ll talk to him and see what we can do about that.” He looked around. “Do you have a bathroom in here?”

“Sure. Right through that door.”

Savannah grabbed more things from her desk and dropped them in the box. She looked up to find Dean walking in. “I’ve had time to think about some things. My offer still stands. I’ll be willing to give you your job back. Of course, I would have to inflict some type of consequence. I don’t want the other women thinking I play favorites.” He leaned against the chair Duncan had been sitting in. “I’d only need certain favors a few times a week. The wife has been wanting to spend more time together. So, I won’t be available that much. And for the time being, don’t get a boyfriend. It’ll just complicate things.”

The bathroom door opened, and Duncan stormed over to where Dean was standing. “Did I just hear what I thought I heard?”

Dean, apparently shaken, glanced from Savannah back to the large man in his face. “Mr. Clarke, glad you’re here. You should be pleased to know that I fired her, and we’ll have someone on your account in a matter of hours.”

“No need. I’ll be taking my account elsewhere. Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said to her. I’ll make sure that she follows up with investigators to investigate these propositions you have been making. Oh, and I have friends that have accounts here as well. I will be talking to them too. Savannah, I’ll walk you out.”

She grabbed her box off the desk and followed Duncan out to the elevators. She could feel the eyes boring a hole in her back and she turned to see Dean, red as a tomato, glaring at her. She didn’t have to imagine how he felt about her at that moment. She held her head high and decided not to care.

***

Dwight sat across from his lawyer, hoping that he had made his wishes very clear. He could not risk another misunderstanding with Savannah. Things seemed to be working against what he was trying to do. It didn’t help that he had no formal custody arrangement with Sandra, so at the present she was able to come and get Izzy when she pleased. He decided that Saturday that he would request full custody. He had enough on her to make her getting custody more difficult, but he put nothing past her. And he wanted Savannah. He could have slapped himself for making those dumb decisions. But the fact of the matter was that whatever it took to get her back, he was willing to do.

“Will your request be contested?”

“It really depends on her mood.”

“Has Isabella’s residence been primarily with you?” The man looked up from his legal pad.

“Yes.” He sighed. “I take her to the doctors. I buy her clothes. I’m at every school function. Yes.” The meeting with his lawyer was long overdue. On his drive home, he had wondered what had kept him from doing it this long. Perhaps it was his great idea about being so nice to a person that it would help them to change themselves. However, he had not paid attention. Sandra had given him every sign she could to tell him that she was not very interested in being a mother, the first one with her leaving. He did not love her. Not anymore. He was bordering on not liking her. If she had ruined things with Savannah for him, he had no idea how he would be able to look at her.

He arrived home a little while later and was thankful that Izzy was at a sleepover. His five o’clock shadow had transformed into a full-fledged beard. The only thing he had managed to do was washup. He did not like to smell which was still important even when he was depressed. He was also still licking his wounds from the tongue-lashing he had received from his uncle. The older man had sat across from him in his own living room and gotten him straight. There was even a threat of bodily harm if Dwight was not able to smooth things over. He closed the book he had been trying to read and laid across his sofa, worn from his large body. He needed a plan and he needed it quickly.

***

Savannah stood on the porch; her knuckles pressed against the large wooden door. She hadn’t knocked yet and was unsure if she should. Duncan had treated her to lunch and tried again to make a case for his nephew. Finally deciding to hear what he had to say about everything, she asked Kim to pick her boys up from school. She fixed her hair and knocked on the door.

The man who answered was a stranger to her. Dwight’s facial hair was thick and had grown rugged all around his jaw. His eyes were weary, missing the glimmer they usually had, but there was some flicker when he realized that she was standing there. His sweatpants and tank top were wrinkled as if he had crawled from under the house to answer the door. He looked as if he had been sleeping. He wiped his face with his hands and tucked them back into his pockets. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Savannah looked down at her feet and then back up at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He moved to the side. “Please come in.”

Savannah stepped down into his living room, which was cloaked in darkness, with Dwight behind her. There was a pillow on the sofa and a few glasses on the coffee table. He reached around her and grabbed the pillows, tossing them on the loveseat. He gestured for her to have a seat and he sat next to her. “Oh. Wait.” He popped up to open a curtain.

“No. You can leave it like this.”

Dwight looked at her puzzled but moved to sit next to her again. “Sandra and I did not get back together. I mean, I saw you with Thomas and just assumed. I did call her and tell her that maybe we should try to reestablish a relationship for Izzy’s sake. But I just couldn’t do it. And seeing you at my uncle’s house made it even clearer.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No.”

“Thomas and I were not getting back together. Are not getting back together. He came over to spend time with the boys. He did ask, but of course I said no. I wish you had stayed so I could tell you what was really happening. We were friends for many years before we got together so the hug was my way of saying goodbye to all that.” Savannah brushed her fingers against his hand.

“I feel stupid now. I just got so angry.” He explained.

“The thing is, I don’t want to worry that every time you get angry you are going to run to her or to someone else. If we are going to try to build something between us, I have to be able to trust you.”

“I didn’t do anything with her.” He grabbed Savannah’s hands. “I swear I didn’t.”

“Did you kiss her?”

Dwight lowered his head. “No.” He said looking into her eyes. “We were talking, and she got to telling me how she missed us and how she wanted to be a mother again. She told me about everything she had been through.”

Savannah sighed. “Do you still love her?”

“Yes. She is the mother of my daughter. But romantically, I don’t want to be with her anymore.”

Savannah held her head in her hands. She sighed heavily, knowing the decision she had to make would be a big one. She wanted so much to believe him. Believe his eyes, believe his words. The last thing she wanted was to relive her days with Thomas, wondering if. She looked at him again. His shadowed eyes. His worn expression. The sorrow and longing pouring from the eyes that were now boring into hers.

“Savannah, what’s wrong?” He squeezed her hand.

“I don’t know. I just feel very uncertain about you right now.”

Dwight moved closer to her. “I love you, Savannah. I love you.” He kissed her cheek. Then he kissed her forehead. He placed his head on her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She felt his hands splayed against her back. He was holding her, the desperation evident in the strength he used to keep her body pressed against his.

Savannah’s ears tickled. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the flood of emotions flowing through her. No way was she getting caught up in those words anymore. She had been fooled before. In addition, how could he really love her in a matter of months? Not likely. “You love me?” She leaned away from him.

“I do. I love you. It sounds crazy, I know. But there is no other explanation for what I am feeling.”

“I need some time to process things. I stopped by because your uncle was worried about you.” She stood up and headed to the door. He followed, almost bumping into her a few times. She turned to look at him. He looked like a crazy man. Wild eyes and a face full of hair. A fraction of her was flattered that she had that kind of effect on him, where he would lose all sense of who he was.

She kissed him on the cheek. A risk, she was sure. The heat emanating from him was unmistakable. If she didn’t leave right then…He turned slightly, and his lips pressed against hers. A wave washed over her and whatever wall she had erected to keep him away fell and she kissed him back, feverishly, her body moving closer to his. He wrapped his arms around her body and slowly backed into the house. She started to object, started to pull away, but there was nothing she could do. Her body wanted him. Her pulse went crazy, throbbing so fast that her hands trembled, the heat bubbling from her pores, her nerves screaming and crying out and she squeezed him tighter.

He kicked the door shut and maneuvered them over to the couch. She fell back on it, pulling him down over her. His mouth devoured hers, pulling and sucking on her lips. She was intoxicated. The ringing of her cell phone broke their embrace.

“Hello,” She said huskily into the receiver. Her heart pounded in her head and she wasn’t sure if that was the reason that she could not hear anyone on the other end. “Hello?” When no one answered, she put the phone back in her purse and stood up.

Dwight looked up at her from the couch. “I want you. Lord knows I do. But I have to do this right. If I sleep with you, I won’t be able to make a clear decision and I’m not about to waste our time. I hope you understand.” She pressed her lips together, tasting him on her mouth.

Dwight looked at her. She was shaking. He wanted to pull her to him; he wanted to caress away her doubts and her fears. But he wouldn’t. She still didn’t trust him, and sex wasn’t going to help it. He stood up, hoping that his body wasn’t swaying like he was in his head. He stretched his hands, denying the impulse to touch her. The pressure he felt in his body would kill him. He knew it. It would kill them both. But if he ever had to choose which way he would die; this would be the way.

His eyes held hers. She was holding back. Her hands were tightened around the purse she had carried in. Her mouth pressed together, her full lips still moist from their kiss. He wanted to ease her but the animal in him wanted to take her and ravage her. He managed to make it over to Savannah and he leaned in and kissed the top of her forehead, no longer able to look into the pleading eyes. She turned slowly and left silently, not ready to take the chance of looking back.