Chapter 78

It would still be something to see. He plucked the cherry off his cake and dropped it on Scooter’s plate, too, grinning a challenge.

“I ain’t exactly feeling the generosity here,” Scooter said. “Someone’s been tellin’ tales out of class.”

“You will not make a liar of me, Winston Churchill Stahl,” Kat declared.

“Winston Churchill?” Andy sputtered. “Seriously?”

“Junior, even,” Scooter sighed. “Is it any wonder I go by Scooter?”

“Not anymore,” Andy agreed. He leaned on the table and propped his head on his hand, looking pointedly at the cherries. “C’mon,” he coaxed. “Success will be rewarded.”

Scooter pointed a finger at Kat. “You are a meddler,” he accused, though Kat was not the least bit repentant. He sighed, mock-dramatically, then popped one cherry in his mouth. He chewed for a few seconds, swallowed, then opened his mouth for the next one, keeping his hands flat on the table, fingers spread.

Kat made a shooing motion at Andy, so he picked up a cherry and dropped it into Scooter’s mouth. At home, he’d have said something teasing and flirty to go with it, but…He shook it off, and watched Scooter’s jaw work.

Scooter flicked his tongue out, pushing the end of a stem and flattened his lips around it, then his tongue worked inside his mouth, rolling and twisting. He swallowed again, then muttered something around the stems. “Ah, got it. Next.”

He proceeded through the four stems, his face taking on a dreamy sort of concentration, eyes focused on something Andy couldn’t see. He paused, rolled his tongue through his mouth one last time, then slowly pushed the chain out of his mouth, each stem knotted once, linked through another one, until all four were laying on his hand in a little chain

He opened his mouth and stretched his tongue out a few times, like it was sore. “Jeez, four’s hard,” he complained.

So am I, Andy wanted to purr into his ear. He’d known Scooter’s tongue was talented, but Jesus Christ. He bit back the words only an instant before they left his mouth, grimacing as they turned sour on him, and dropped his head onto his folded arms instead and contented himself with, “Holy fuck.”

The lights in the building dimmed as the music came up and drew attention to the stage in the center of the hall. Scooter took advantage of the dimmer light and distraction, sliding one hand under the table and brushing his fingers against Andy’s knee. “You okay?” he asked low in Andy’s ear.

Andy would have lied, said everything was fine. But then Jason reached across the table to feed a bite of cake to Kat and…“Mostly,” Andy muttered, tucking his head back down. “Not used to hiding. Wish we’d talked before so I know what’s okay and what isn’t.”

“Oh, Christ,” Scooter swore. His hand closed over Andy’s knee. “Shit. Baby, I…” He trailed off uncertainly.

“It’s okay,” Andy said, voice pitched low. He glanced up, back down at the table. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be out in public, that’s…That’s a totally valid choice. I’m not going to be that asshole. I just, I haven’t ever…I need a rulebook.”

“It’s totally not okay,” Scooter whispered fiercely, “if it’s hurting you. Come on, Andy, look at me a second?”

Andy pulled his eyes up. It was harder than it should have been. Scooter looked so worried, so upset, Andy couldn’t help leaning into him for a moment, the sketch of a hug. I’m not hurting, he almost said, but that was a lie. “It only hurts,” he said carefully, trying to sort out his own feelings, “because I wasn’t expecting it. We’re not, we don’t…not at home. I didn’t realize.”

Scooter sighed. “You’re supposed to kick me when I’m hurting your feelings. Kat’s been taking over your job here. I didn’t…I’m always like this, if I’m not home, or in Ghent. I…once bitten, and all that. But, Andy, I…I ain’t ashamed of you.”

Andy knew that, but it still felt better to hear it. “I know. It’s…We should’ve talked about it before, is all. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do, just to make me feel better. Your feelings count, too, you know.”

“You’re right,” Scooter said. “We should have talked about it before; I assumed, and you did, too. We’ll work on that. Promise. You know, I mostly got into the habit ‘cause of Jason. Not that I was hiding it fromhim, but if someone else called me somethin’ ugly, Jason’d bristle up like a wet cat and jump right into it, all eighty pounds of ‘im, soaking wet.” Scooter smiled fondly at the memory. “But you’re right, Andy. We shouldn’t have to hide. I…I can’t promise people won’t get ugly, though, ‘cause they do. I shouldn’t make you—Baby, you shouldn’t have to feel the same way I did when my dad used to tell me t’ stop actin’ like a faggot where everyone could see it. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Andy grimaced. “You shouldn’t have to feel that way either. What a dick thing to say to your kid. And I know people here aren’t quite the same as they were back in New York, I know—it’s not bad to want to just…avoid dealing with it. I get that. I just wanted to be in on the decision.” He glanced around—everyone was clapping and singing along with the stage show—and leaned in to kiss Scooter’s cheek.