Chapter 39
Andy allowed himself a shark’s-tooth grin once his back was to Sharpe’s table. Sharpe wasn’t going to have Scooter thistime, anyway. He put a little sway into his step, knowing Sharpe would be watching, and leaned into Scooter’s side, subtly, of course.
As soon as the kitchen door swung shut behind them, Scooter pressed up against one of the walls and slid down to sit heavily on the floor. “Oh God, oh God, oh God.” He was shaking hard and breathing like he’d just run a marathon.
Kat and Jason were watching with identical round eyes and surprised, delighted smiles. Kat flapped a hand at Andy, go on, so he crouched in front of Scooter. “Hey, you’re okay. You did good.”
Scooter curled up on himself, chin on his knees, hands lacing together at the back of his neck. “That poor kid,” Scooter said. “He’s got no fucking clue.” He banged his head against the wall in a sick rhythm, eyes squeezed shut. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Andy stuffed his hand behind Scooter’s head. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he said. “Politics is an ugly, ugly game, I know.”
“Don’t hurt myself,” Scooter repeated, a wet, almost sobbing sound coming out of his throat. “Why the hell not? I’ve been doing it for years. Letting him get to me. Him and his parade of pretty boys. You know, I don’t think I ever realized how much of a fool—I thought there was something wrong with me…” He scrubbed at his face.
Jesus, that sounded familiar. Not quite the same circumstances, of course—the age difference hadn’t been as pronounced between Andy and Nick, for one thing, and Sharpe and Nick were wielding very different types of cruelty. But thinking that it was his own fault, that he wasn’t good enough…and then the shame of realizing what an idiot he’d been. Yeah, Andy was pretty intimate with those feelings. “Listen, it’s a power trip, that’s all it is,” Andy said urgently. “Knowing he can have someone new anytime he wants, knowing he still has power over you. It’s…It’s not your fault that he messed with your head, Scooter.”
“I loved Chris,” Scooter confessed. “My whole life. I knew I was gay the first time I ever saw him. Made excuses for him: he’s busy, he’s rich, he’s important, he doesn’t have time for a nobody like me. After…I think I knew he would never take me back, but I kept hoping anyway. I don’t know. God, I’m sorry, Andy, you shouldn’t have to deal with me bein’ a mess.” He rubbed at dry eyes with the heel of his hand, wiping away tears that weren’t there. “Just shook. I…” He slid his gaze toward the door as Kat bounced in again to refill the sweet tea pitcher, eyes automatically drawn to Sharpe; from that angle, Scooter could probably only see Sharpe’s leg under the table, and it was doubtful that Sharpe could see them at all. “I forgot. I forgot that he was going to be in town. I wasn’t expecting it, at all.” That seemed to perk him up a little bit. “Usually, I’m, you know, prepared for it.”
“By prepared, he means moping. Brooding.” Kat said, shaking her hair out with a disdainful sniff and did her best Scooter imitation, that “I am an exile from my home and have nothing” looking out to sea expression that Andy had seen cross Scooter’s face from time to time. “That man was no good for you. It is good that you finally realize this. You will be better for it.”
Scooter managed a trembling sort of smile for Andy. “See, what did I tell you? Terrifying pep talks.” 16
The insanity let up a little—only a little—once Memorial Day was done, though Andy had been told to expect another surge in mid-to-late June, when the schools let out and families with younger kids started their vacations.
Andy’s intercession with Sharpe seemed to have placed him solidly in Kat’s and Jason’s good books, even though he didn’t think he’d done much except turn up the snark and give Scooter a prop to hold onto.
Maybe that was enough. Andy hadn’t quite figured out how to break free from his father until Nick had come along, after all. However much of a douche Nick was, at least there was that to be thankful for.
Even better than Kat and Jason’s appreciation was the way Scooter looked at Andy. Not all the time, but every so often, a couple of times a day, Andy would notice Scooter watching, a faint smile on his lips, head slightly tilted to one side, as if he was trying to puzzle Andy out. And when he saw Andy watching, he didn’t look away, just smiled a little wider, waved or nodded or raised his coffee in silent toast.