Chapter 21 The Gift
5 years ago
Sade
I watched from the camera feed as he walked up to her and started talking to her. Then he sat at the table with her, and they started talking. I found myself enraged that he was there in her presence, and I sure the fuck didn’t like it.
I watched and I seethed. I would never allow anyone to take her from me. The kids at the school had always known to stay away. This one was new, and he hadn’t heard that he was supposed to stay away from her. The only thing that stayed my hand was Rain’s face.
I don’t feel what others feel. I have known this for a long time. That’s why I have to pretend to be like everyone else, and why I have to observe those around me so I can imitate behaviors. One of those things I don’t typically feel is loneliness, I suppose that would be the name for the emotion she is displaying.
I hadn’t ever really thought about how Rain might be lonely as she had no friends. I had been the one to instruct everyone to stay away, and they had done so. Perhaps I went too far and isolated her too much. I wanted her to come to me for friendship, but I was much older and in another grade. She couldn’t sit with me at lunch, or talk about class. I saw many of my fellow classmates partake of those activities.
So, I would research him and find out if he would make an acceptable friend for Rain. If now I would get rid of him, simple as that. I did find that I didn’t like how much she smiled and laughed around him. She didn’t behave that way at home, and I wished for her smiles and laughter to be mine and no one else's, but I wasn’t sure how to make that happen right now.
Haden Driscol, son of Benjamin Driscol, newly married to Analise Potney, now Driscol. He has one step sister, Rebeka Potney, and she is currently 9 years old. Their histories are remarkably alike, so again, I can see where they would have much in common. So far, he hasn’t intruded upon my time with Rain, so I am tolerating the friendship.
When I learn of the plans she has made with him for Christmas I am furious. That is my time with her, and he can not have it. At first I protest, and as I am the oldest and “technically” in charge I can do this. However her absolute sadness and tears persuade me to compromise.
“Fine, you may go as long as I drive you and pick you up, and I get to meet the parents as I am not familiar with the family.” I watch her wrinkle her nose, but I already know she’ll give in.
“Fine, but don’t embarrass me in front of his family. I am only going for Christmas day. It’s not like we ever plan or do anything, so I’m not flaking out on plans we’ve made or anything Sade.” She turns and walks to her room.
She’s actually correct. I see I must improve my ability to do things with her. She is not content to just watch me, she prefers to do things, so I will have to learn to cultivate this behavior. It will be very important later for me to be able to make her happy. She will not be content to simply sit on the couch all day, every day, so I must learn and adapt.
She is actually wrong about one thing though. This year I got her something. I watch as always which means I see things she doesn’t show anyone else. Rain has developed a love of drawing, and painting. So, I purchased quite a few items, and I’ve had one of the guest rooms emptied and turned into an art studio for her.
On Christmas morning I go to her room and knock. She’s not supposed to go to the Driscol’s home until noon, so she wasn’t expecting me I’m sure. She comes and opens the door. She’s wearing her robe, and she still looks tired.
“I would like to show you something, will you please come with me.” I see her eyes get big, and I know it’s because I asked her and used please, so I see this is good for facilitating good will with her.
She nods and then follows me. I led her to the room that is now her art studio, “This is my Christmas present for you Rain. I want you to know that you are seen. I see you, and I pay attention.” With that I open the door and usher her in.
She steps in and freezes, and then her eyes get huge as she turns in a slow circle and takes everything in. There’s a new drawing table, tons of storage shelves complete with clear bins to hold art supplies. Currently there are ones filled with paints, brushes, markers, colored pencils, drawing pencils, drawing pads of all shapes and sizes, erasers, canvases, and a big bunch of instructional books and DVDs for her to watch or read.
I see her step forward and gently run her hand over things, and just absorb all of it, “You did this for me Sade? How did you know?”
“As I said Rain, I see you, I have always seen you, and I will always see you. I know you have truly developed a love and joy of drawing and other art items. So it seemed this would be good, and you can explore it more, and see what you really like and don’t.”
She turns to me and I see one lone tear streak down her cheek, and for a moment, I worry I have miscalculated and have upset her with my gift. Then before I can say anything, she runs, and wraps her arms around me in a hug. I find myself automatically enclosing her in my arms as I hug her back.
I have never hugged anyone. I find I very much want to spend the rest of my life hugging Rain. So, I hang on as long as she’ll let me.