Chapter 5: Lost

Lost.

Every time I try to do something or even just try and maneuver around Dixon Enterprises, I always feel lost. From how to do exactly what they want with the files given to me and to who I should be sending it. So far, with my time working here, I only got the directions to the restroom, to my desk, to the cafeteria on the fourth floor, and the exit. When the manager gave me a task to deliver papers to a certain high-ranking employee on the seventh floor, I was like a lost puppy on a floor full of busy sharks. What even brought more difference to me and the rest was that I was younger than most of them, in age and experience. Standing in the hallway, unsure of where to go, I received plenty of funny stares.

“Where are you going?”

Turning to whoever asked, I was faced with a woman who almost bore the same facial expression as the strict mathematics teacher I had in high school. Swallowing my fear, I held up the papers neatly arranged in my hand and smiled to ease the tension. “I-I was asked to deliver this to a…Mr. Hansen?”

“Mr. Hansen is not in his office right now. You can leave that to his secretary.” She responded automatically and was about to walk off when I made a face. “Is there something wrong, Miss?”

“Could you show me the way?” She was already kind enough to tell me he was indeed on this floor but was out. I just hope she wouldn’t mind me asking for directions. “I’m new here and I don’t know…”

“Didn’t you pay attention to your manager when they gave you the task?” She asked, staring at me incredulously as if I was slacking off. “Usually, they would give you specific directions.”

This woman probably doesn’t know me, the famous employee who got a job without any experience and got a recommendation from the CEO.

“No, they didn’t tell me where his office is other than what floor it’s on.”

Expecting for her to yell or to express any form of indignation, I was pleasantly surprised when she asked me to follow her. “I would only be nice this one time since you’re new. The next time you come up here, I wouldn’t assist you because this is part of your job. You are an employee of this company so whatever happens here, you must have some knowledge of it. This is Mr. Hansen’s office.” Knocking on the door twice, she pushed it open.

The secretary behind the desk immediately greeted us, stiffening on her seat as the kind woman who showed me the way entered. “Mrs. Rhodan! I didn’t know you were coming. Mr. Hansen is out of the moment—”

“Yes, yes, I know. I’m merely escorting this lost sheep who has been standing in the hallway for almost ten minutes wondering where his office is. I should definitely bring it up in the meeting next time that there should be signs pinpointing where the offices are or this would happen again!”

Greeting the secretary, I gave her the papers which she received with gratitude. “Poor thing! You were standing out there for ten minutes? Why didn’t you ask anyone at all?”

“I…I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.” I answered softly, walking back to the door. “Besides, everyone around me looked busy.”

“Nonsense.” The woman who showed me the way laughed curtly. “If anyone is busy, it would be the security team. Even the CEO of this company isn’t too busy to answer someone asking for directions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. Goodbye, ladies.”

“Goodbye, and thank you so much!” I smiled, bowing slightly at her for her kindness before turning to the secretary. “Those papers are from Manager Keith.”

“Yes, and thank you for bringing it up here. Normally, Manager Keith brings these papers up here himself, but I guess he’s too busy. But I was quite surprised when Mrs. Rhodan came here and even helped you! What did you do to get her attention?”

I blinked at her question, wondering what was so fascinating. “Mrs. Rhodan? Ah, she merely asked where I was heading and was very patient with me. I’m thankful she showed me the way to Mr. Hansen’s office. I wouldn’t forget the next time I come up here.”

“Yeah, but…Ah, you must be new here. You see…Mrs. Rhodan never speaks to anyone other than those who have a higher position than hers. She’s…like a snob, you know? So, when she entered here and showed you the way, I was pretty stunned!” Leaning forward, the secretary winked at me. “You must have done something to earn her attention, huh? Don’t be shy!”

“I’m being honest here. I never met her before, and the way you speak about her is rude. She was very kind and patient so for you to say she’s a snob…Are you sure she is one?” I didn’t know what possessed me to say those words. However, it was evident in the secretary’s eyes that she regretted telling me what she thought and instantly dismissed me. On the way back to the fifth floor, I rode the elevator in silence as I couldn’t help but grimace at what just happened.

Is this how adult life is? Or is this just how it goes when you work at a company? So much gossip and assumptions. Not only towards me, but towards people like Mrs. Rhodan! Seriously, why can’t people just leave others alone…

“McKenzie! Did you give the papers to Mr. Hansen?”

“Yes, Manager Keith. He wasn’t in his office, so I gave it to his secretary instead.” I responded, sitting on my chair. Manager Keith was instantly on my side with a cheeky expression on his face. “Sir? What is it?”

“H-how is Secretary Chelsea doing?”

Oh…Is he infatuated with her? And why ask me? If you were going to wonder how she is, why didn’t you deliver those papers yourself?

“Um, fine…I guess?”

He laughed at my reply, walking off with a blushing face that it was hard to take him seriously if it weren’t for his position as manager. “Shit, she must be waiting for me! Chelsea, I shall see you this evening myself!” Shaking my head at his silly antics, my thoughts diverted from the file I had to encode to the reason why I was sitting on this desk in the first place.

Cedric Dixon.

He hasn’t reached out since that day and I’m sure he has realized why. What was he even doing at the hospital? Ah! I don’t care. It’s a good thing I didn’t accept to be his private secretary, or I would have ended up being the biggest gossip of the whole company. Well, as if I am not one already! I probably would leave the company soon anyways, especially with the working environment being as bad as it is right now…

Yup, I won’t stay here for too long! I can always find another job, one that doesn’t have mean co-workers and a delusional CEO.

I could not help but feel lost as I walked back home. Who wouldn’t feel the same way upon having their mind wiped like a clean slate? To think that I didn’t know who I was before the accident scares me. The thought of meeting someone who used to be a friend, or an enemy of my past self frightens me to no end that I dread leaving the house. What was I going to do? What am I supposed to say? Who was I before that day? Questions continued to buzz across my mind as I walked up to the gate, readying my keys.

The sight of the large two-story home was awfully familiar and yet at the same time, foreign. My parents were hardly around during my childhood, too caught up in their work involved with politics and money. Then again, they were good at it and I benefited from their hard work. My father, Nicholas McKenzie is friends with the mayor of this city and had other friends who were in politics as well despite being a mere councilor. My mother, Katelyn McKenzie, the owner of a small bakery in town, had connections with socialites and wives of bigshots. In short, they were too busy with their lives to pay attention to their daughter at home only accompanied by a nanny who had other stuff to do than to take care of a child.

My childhood was uneventful, to say the least. High school was the same. College was only exciting at first, mostly due to my independence and the dream of making a name for myself. Yet in the end, that light burnt out too easily and I went back home after having nothing to do with my degree. A degree my mom wanted me to have. Thankfully, they didn’t mind their daughter moving back in despite the promises of being an independent woman in her twenties. I, for one, was happy that I was back…yet the happiness did not last long.

It’s so quiet…

Opening the gate, I slowly walked in and stared at the front door with tired eyes. Today was my day off—a day that miserably reminds me that I am alone in this world and to prove that was the empty house that I was about to walk into.

Even if my parents were too busy and the nanny had too many calls to answer to, it was never this quiet in the McKenzie home. And what hurts the most is that I can’t recall what happened before the accident occurred—what were their last words, the last words I said to them, and what they thought of me. Were they ever dissatisfied with me? Were they ever disappointed in my actions? I crave to know.

My memories are slowly piecing themselves every day as I discover myself again, but that day still remains hazy and it frustrates me. Nevertheless, they will soon come back…I hope so.

After changing my clothes into comfortable pajamas, I headed to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Now, what should I whip up for dinner?”

Ding dong!

I glanced up, wondering who could be at the door. I have never received visitors before apart from my relatives who came and wondered how I was doing. Then again, if I had any friends or made some prior to the accident, they would have shown up long ago.

Who could it be?

Removing the apron I just wore, I hurriedly went to the front door to greet the person but was met with air. Eyebrows furrowing, I felt chills run up my skin at the odd occurrence until I looked down to see an envelope sitting on the porch. I picked it up and went further outside to see if I could catch whoever left it.

No one was there.

Strange…Oh my god, what is this?

Eyes wide at the logo of Dixon Enterprises printed on it, I rushed back inside and opened the envelope. To my surprise and irritation, it was a letter from Cedric Dixon himself that my application to be his private secretary has been accepted.

But I didn’t even apply for the position, you…You idiotic buffoon of a CEO!