Chapter 11: Thinking Back.

*Angel*

I'd now been home for a few weeks, after pushing Gray away that night I was supposed to go meet their family, but instead stayed out too late on accident. They hadn't reached out to me at all, the only Signs that I had left of ever being with Gray was the bodyguards who were assigned to watch over me and my apartment. Luckily for me, Josh just so happened to be amongst those bodyguards. Every day during their shift they'd spend time laughing and talking with me, we'd even have a cup of tea together. Truthfully speaking though, life hasn't been all that great since I left Grays' residence.

I'd been having these nightmares about that Italian boy who had slapped my ass on the last Sunday night that I'd last been to work. I've been told I've been screaming in my sleep almost every night which alerts the guards and makes them think someone or Cayla had managed to get in. My nightmare Is always about the Italian boy forcing himself onto me rather than just giving a hard slap to my bare ass, I'd be put through the whole experience of rape. And just before he was about to come and finish inside of me, I'd wake up screaming and frightened so much that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. It even leaves me wishing that Gray were still here with me.

I have been longing for Grays' touch, their lips on mine, their strong arms wrapped securely around my waist as we cuddled in the same bed. I felt depressed and sad without them, the loneliness wasn't what I had expected when I asked to go back home for my own selfish reasons. Tomorrow, Monday night the 20th of March I go back to work for the first time. I was happy about it, somewhat since it would give me something to do, a distraction from my nightmares and something to keep my mind off of Gray. Hell, they probably already moved on for all I know. Maybe there is another woman in their bed right now.

*Hey babycakes, I heard you were coming in for work tomorrow. Are you sure you're ready to come back and deal with those...y'know. They hadn't picked anyone to be their waiter at all and said they'd rather just wait until you returned.- Kyle*

I picked up my phone after seeing the camera flash on my nightstand that sat next to my bed as I lay down half-naked under my blanket. Reading Kyle's message, a frown formed on my lips. I was hoping that it was Gray for some reason, sighing I decided to reply.

*Yep, ready as I'll ever be cupcake. pumped even, so excited I can hardly contain myself. LOL just wishing I had someone to hold me while I slept, I feel so unsafe sleeping alone these days..-Angel*

*Want me to come over and be ur cuddle buddy for the night? I don't mind rushing over.- Kyle*

*No, no it's fine really, you just get your sleep. We have a long night ahead of us silly. Thanks though. Goodnight- Angel*

*Hmmm...Goodnight...- Kyle*

I placed my phone back on the charger and in its usual spot on the nightstand, In the morning I was supposed to be met with Josh sitting on my couch as usual as they waited for me to wake up when I didn't have nightmares for one. But these days, they seem to be back to back. I let out a heavy sigh, squishing my pillows one last time I laid my head back down and closed my eyes to try and get in some sleep. I opened my eyes to find myself in a dark room, then slowly lights came on to reveal the inside of Gray's penthouse. Gray was sitting in a chair facing me an evil smirk painted on their lips as they looked at me.

"You thought you could get away from me?" Cocking their head to the side ever so slightly, they chuckled out into laughter. Just then the clanking sound of heels came too, each step growing closer and closer until a woman with long black hair came into view, she was curvy and wearing a black dress with red bottom heels. A gun in hand, she swiftly and with ease traversed her way over to Gray's side with a mischievous smirk of her own. "Cayla.." I mouthed, trying to speak but no voice came through. I reached for my throat grasping it with my hands as I searched for my own voice.

Cayla giggled out maniacally, I noticed Gray pick up their hand closest to Cayla and grab her ass firmly under her dress. Their eyes still trained on me, they wore no smirk but their eyes looked evil. "Can I do it now Daddy?" Cayla questioned, taking the gun she had in hand and pointing it at me as she cocked it with her thumb. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I fell down to my knees attempting to yell as loud as I could for them to spare my life but no voice of mine came through. "Go ahead babygirl, kill her. She means nothing to me, I only want you," Gray said, their eyes trained on me still.

"Ah!!" I jolted up quickly in a scream, kicking my legs as I grabbed hold of as much blanket as possible and brought it up to my chest. I heard my door fling open, and loud footsteps rush over to me. A hand gently grabbed my wrist which caused me to look up, tears stained my cheeks as I sobbed. Seeing Grays' face caused me to cry more and even try to get away from them, only for them to gently pull me into their chest and hold me there securely. "I told you, she'd been having nightmares ever since she left your place boss," I heard Josh inform Gray as they put away their guns.

"Why are you only just now telling me this shit?" Gray snapped and looked back at Josh, myself still in their arms. My sobs grew smaller and more controlled along with my breathing. I was no longer panicking and back in the real world. I'd never had this nightmare before, it was new. "Let go of me.." I whispered, pushing them away weakly.

"Princess-" "Let me go, Gray...I don't want you here..in my nightmare you were working with Cayla you asshole, get out!" I hugged my blanket close to my half-naked body as I looked up at Gray who stood from their spot on the edge of my bed. Their eyes filled with sorrow and sadness as my words entered one ear and left the other. "Princess please, just talk to me. You know I'd never plot with Cayla against you," I shook my head at them and brought a hand up to wipe at my tears. "I don't..." I stammered, "I don't trust you. You're going to betray me, and hurt me."

"You are going to leave me, you will never love me. So leave me alone and go back to Cayla and just leave me alone. My life would be safe that way anyway!" I yelled and sobbed, trying to convince myself my words were the truth more so than I tried to convince anyone else in the room. "Get out Josh," Josh did as they were told closing the door to my bedroom behind them as they took their leave. Gray who I began to resent merely because of my nightmare came and sat back down on the edge of the bed nearest to me.

"Princess, you are my world. And I know you may not believe me right now and for some reason, it's hard for you to grasp that truth, but I promise to prove you and your accusations about me wrong. Just stop pushing me away...These past few weeks have been hell for me, I miss you.." Gray spoke softly, taking my hand slowly in their own with caution. They stared into my eyes as they spoke every word, causing me to look away. Then they pulled me closer like they had done before and hugged me into their chest. They were so warm and made me feel safe in every way as if there were nothing for me to fear anymore.

I relished in this feeling, allowing myself to be drawn in, my eyes tearing up as a sigh of relief escaped me. "I'm so sorry Gray..I'm just so conflicted and twisted in my own feelings," I breathed out, lifting my head to look up at them. They rubbed my head and smiled down at me as if to say everything will be ok with their looks. "Beautiful, don't worry. We can figure everything out while keeping you safe from Cayla. Just don't push me away because you are scared of your feelings. It will only hurt the both of us instead of none of us." I nodded then allowed my head to fall into their chest once more.

"Can..you stay with me, I feel so safe with you Gray."