Chapter 17

This was really torture- my entire life has been torture. Would you believe that it has been two weeks since Lucas had me confined to his apartment and not allowed to leave? Once again. I wanted to go see my mother but all I was allowed to do was to call- I couldn't leave. They had even taken Nora and Katie and booked them in a rehabilitation center. My stuff from the apartment was also brought back here, so basically I was living at Lucas' place all over again.

I tried reasoning with him and telling him that I had to go to work but I couldn't get through to him. So once again, I was jobless and stuck here. I was seriously going to go crazy if I had to stay here much longer. How was I supposed to get my mom the medical procedure that she needed to fix her heart issue? I was going to save up from my pay but if I was no longer working, that was going to be impossible now. I needed to get this through to Lucas some way or the other. He was not here yet but I was determined to wait up for him to get home because I had to get him to understand- or at least I had to try. I just didn't get it why he had to have me confined to this place; locked away from the outside world. What did he think? That I was just going to run around and tell everyone- that I see- about them? I told my mom about them but that doesn't count because she's my mom- I told my mom everything.

I had refused to go to bed until Lucas got home. It was 9:47pm and he still wasn't home but I was going to wait for him to get home even if that meant waiting up until the next day this same time. Greta had been here with me throughout the day and earlier but after a few hours, she announced that she was tired and left. So I was here sitting in the couch with the TV on.  There was some sci-fi movie going on TV but I honestly wasn't paying much attention to what was it was about, I was a bit caught up in reminiscing and rereading some old text messages that Matthew had sent me. I wanted to delete them hence, I was reading them again for one last time before finally saying goodbye to them and him for good.

I was starting to get used to the fact that Matthew was gone and although it still hurts like hell, I already knew that no amount of crying was ever going to bring him back. It hasn't been long since everything happened but I had to try to be strong and get over it. I had started to eat a little once again and even though the nightmares were still there from time to time, they weren't as bad as they were before.

I had started deleting the messages when Lucas came home. I was a bit frightened at first because I was so caught up with the phone that I hadn't realized the door was being opened.

"Lucas," I said in surprise as I stood up quickly facing him. "Hey, I was waiting up for you."

"You were?" Lucas said raising a brow as he took off his jacket. "And why would that be?"

"Well, I've been wanting to talk to you."

"That makes both if us." Lucas said cutting me off. "You should be ready by ten in the morning?"

"Huh? Why? Are we going somewhere?" I asked surprised.

"You are," Lucas replied loosening his tie. "The boss thinks that you deserve a day out so tomorrow Lexi is going to be picking you up."

"Lexi?" I asked confused.

"Gio's wife." Lucas responded.

"Oh, Mrs. Cavelli?" I asked though I already knew the answer.

"That's the one." Lucas responded. "She's going to be out with you tomorrow and after you are finished with whatever it is she has planned for the both of you, she's going to bring you straight back here."

"Oh, okay." I nodded with a small smile.

I may not be able to go out and do what I want or do my own thing but getting an opportunity just to leave this place -if it was even for a few hours- I was thankful for it.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Lucas asked.

"Oh, I uh... I wanted to ask you if I could maybe be allowed to leave...you know... get back to working." I said unsurely fumbling over my words.

"You already know the answer to that. You can't be trusted with that much freedom in the outside world." Lucas said to me. "I'm not giving you another opening to possible get back involved with lowlifes or becoming a druggie once again and risking things for us."

"Lucas please..."

"No, that is the final answer." Lucas replied. "If I should allow you to go back to that level of freedom once again, I might as well kill you myself right now. You're a risk I..."

"Please Lucas, I promise nothing like that isn't going to happen again. This isn't for me, it’s for my mom- I'm trying to get her the money to help her. It’s for her heart procedure- the angioplasty. I have to go back to work so I can come up with the money to help. So that she can be back on her feet and out of that nursing home." I said pleading. "Please Lucas, I need to get back out there."

"Before you left here the las time, I gave one single warning 'Do not get back involved with anything or anyone drug related' yet you didn't listen. You should have thought about that in the first place. Furthermore, you almost got yourself killed. The minute I decide to let you out, I may as well kill you myself." Lucas said before walking off leaving me "Goodnight Amy."

"Ugh!" I screamed in frustration as I grabbed a cushion from the couch before throwing it in the direction he went. "Shit!"

***************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I had no idea where Lexi was planning on taking me but I wanted to wear something that was both cute yet comfortable. I settled with a pearl taupe ribbed neck bodycon dress with a pair of black vans sneakers. The day was bound to be hot so I straightened my hair and put it in a ponytail. I also decided not to wear any makeup except for some eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss. I was not in the mood to be melting like a snow cone.

Lucas was already gone by the time I was ready but Greta was the one who informed me that Mrs. Cavelli was here. I hadn't even noticed that I had gone over the time given to get ready which was 10am. I hurriedly grabbed my purse and phone and went to the living room to meet her. I was extremely nervous, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. Maybe it was due to the fact that I hardly knew her, I had kept her waiting and the biggest issue of them all-she was the wife of a mafia boss.

"Mrs. Cavelli... Uh hi, I'm so sorry I kept you waiting. I..." I began rambling as soon as I saw her.

"Amy relax," she chuckled before smiling at me kindly. "It’s okay. I guess you were being fashionable late right? I understand. You look great by the way. And please, just call me Lexi."

"Oh, thank you... Lexi" I said returning the smile. "You look really nice too."

She did look amazing. She was wearing a white corset top with black floral lace, a black ripped jeans and some black ankle boots. Her hair was up in a bun and overall she was exquisite. She was extremely beautiful- she was one of those girls who'd look good in anything without even trying.

"Thank you," she smiled. "So are you ready to go?"

"Uhm yeah sure." I nodded.

"Well let's go." Lexi smiled at me while heading towards the door before calling out to Greta. "Greta, it was nice meeting you.”

" You too Mrs. Cave...I mean Lexi." Greta called back before turning to me. "Have fun."

"I'll try," I smiled. "See you later."

I followed Lexi out the building and to her car in relatively easy silence. All the way, I kept wondering nervously about where we were going and if things were going to continue being awkward for the remainder of the day. The minute we were seated in her car and she had started the engine Lexi turned to me with a smile.

"So Amy, where do you want to go first?"

"Uh what?" I asked looking at her confused and surprised.

Why would she ask me where I want to go first? Shouldn't she be the one telling me where we are going?

"Do you have some place you'd like to go first today?" Lexi asked me. Seeing my confused expression, she continued. "Did you think today was just me dragging you out behind me?"

"Well uh...yeah. Lucas said you wanted me to go out with you today and..."

"That was my way of getting you out of that hell hole." Lexi cut me off. "I know he was keeping you locked in and that being the ass he is; he wasn't going to let you out anytime soon. I figured you'd want a day out to do whatever- look for your mom or whatever else you'd want to do."

"Thank you." I said gratefully.

I couldn't believe it. Someone else actually thinks about my needs. I wouldn't have guess it would be the boss' wife but I was so grateful for her. It was nice getting an opportunity to get out of Lucas' prison.

"Yeah don’t mention it." she smiled. "I know what it’s like for you trust me. So I imagined we should visit your mom first? If I'm right, I believe you'll even rather spending most of the day with her?"

How did she know?

"Yeah, I'd really like to see her since it’s been weeks since I've last gotten a chance to visit her but I wouldn't want you having to spend the entire day at a nursing home full of sick people. " I said to her unsurely.

"I don't mind. I volunteered to do this today. So anything you want to do today just tell me. Think of me as your chauffeur for the day." Lexi said with a chuckle.

"Thank you Lexi." I smiled. "Like really... Thank you. It’s uhm...it’s been a while since anyone has ever given a thought to what I wanted or what I think."

"People can be selfish at times Amy. Sometimes they think it's for your own good but in reality, it often times sucks. I know what that's like." she replied.

I nodded when she said that. She seemed to get me and how I feel somewhat.

We went back to a comfortable silence as we drove. I couldn't help but noticed Lexi continuously rubbing her under her chest region every now and then and trying to slacken her corset top somehow. She seemed to be in some discomfort.

"Are you alright?" I asked concerned.

"I'm not sure. I guess." Lexi replied as she removed her hand from her stomach and placed it back on the steering wheel. "I've just been feeling really bloated for a few days now. I probably shouldn't have worn this top today."

"Oh, maybe you're pregnant?" I said to her before quickly apologizing after seeing Lexi's expression after hearing me said that. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't... That's was a bit out of..."

"No it’s okay" Lexi cut me off. "I'm not mad or anything. It’s just that... I haven't really given a thought to that being a possibility. Although I haven't been feeling well for a while now."

"Oh? But you're married right? So I think it could be a possibility since you're most likely sleeping with your husband... Sorry again if I'm being too blunt or inappropriate. I just..."

"Amy stop apologizing," Lexi laughed. "It’s okay. It simple means that you're starting to get comfortable around me. It's a good sign. And in fact, now that you mentioned it, I should probably take a test to know what is what. Gio and I have been trying for a baby recently and I've been so scared to even think much about it that I haven't even been paying attention much to details. Come to think of it, you're probably right. I have been late as well but...oh my God."

"But that's great right? I mean if you really are pregnant then congratulations." I said to her but I noticed she seemed a bit nervous at this thought. "What's wrong? Isn't it a good thing?"

"Yeah I... It'll be great and Gio would be happy but I'm just not sure if I really am pregnant." Lexi said. "I'm going to need to visit that pharmacy near the nursing home to buy a test to be sure."

"I hope you don't mind me asking... But uh...you don't seem so keen or excited on the idea of possibly becoming a mom. Don't you want to be one?" I couldn't help but asking. The thought seemed to frightened her.

"It’s not that. I wanted to be a mom one day but I'm just scared of going through that again." she confessed but sensing my confusion she continued. "I've been pregnant before and I was excited but things didn't go so well and I lost it. And now the idea of ever going through that again scares the hell out of me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine what it was like having a miscarriage. I'd be scared too. I'm sorry." I said to her.

"It’s okay. I guess I have to get over my fear sometime." Lexi replied. "What about you, do you want to be a mother someday? By the way if you don't mind me asking how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-two." I told her.

"Oh, no way. I didn't know we're the same age." Lexi announced.

"You're twenty-two as well?" I asked to which Lexi nodded. "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a mother Lexi."

"Why would you say that?" Lexi asked me.

"I'm not exactly a person a child could look up to." I said to her. "I mean, you probably heard already but I was basically a stripper. Some people may even consider me to also be a former prostitute- considering I had to sleep with some of the clients when I was working at Alfredo's club. I was also a drug addict. I feel like my chances to have happy or decent life with a family is ruined. Like look at me, I have no job, no life of my own. If I'm to have a child, I'd like it to be with a guy I'm married to. A decent guy who would sacrifice everything for his family. With me being like this and gone through everything that I've been through, what sensible and decent guy is ever going to think of giving me a chance? I don't think I'll ever have that chance in life. Look what happened after I thought I found a guy that accepted me for who I was—he got killed. I may never get another opportunity like that."

"Amy, I'm really sorry about your loss. But there are guys out there that won't judge you for your past and it won't matter to them." Lexi said to me "And don't speak nonsense about yourself. You may have gotten in a bad situation before, but you aren't ruined. You are beautiful and seems like a fairly nice and decent young woman. Someday you're going to find the guy who none of your past will matter to him. Your past doesn’t define you."

"Thanks for all those kind and encouraging talk but I doubt I'll ever have any of that because I'm stuck at Lucas' place." I said to her.

Lexi was really nice. I wasn't sure what I had expected from her especially since she was the wife of a mafia boss but hanging with her really surprised me. She wasn't what I had expected. Lexi had stopped at the pharmacy near by the nursing home and picked up the pregnancy tests as stated before going to the nursing home with me. When I introduced her to my mom, she could hardly believe it since my Mom looked so young. That was something that I always hear whenever people met my mom. Mom also seemed to like Lexi but who wouldn't? She was surprisingly really nice.

"So Lexi you are married to that Lucas' boss?" Mom asked her.

"Yeah, Giovanni Cavelli." Lexi smiled as she mentioned his name. "We call him Gio for short though."

"You're really in love with him." Mom said to her.

"That I am Marie." Lexi replied. "He's everything I could ever asked for."

"Isn't he like strict, ruthless or aggressive at all? With him being a mafia boss and all?" I asked her.

"To his associates or enemies, I guess he is but to me Gio is just a sweetheart- well most of the time." Lexi chuckled.

"I find him scarier than Lucas and to think that I'm really scared of Lucas." I said to her.

"Gio isn't all that bad. As long as you don't get on his bad side." Lexi replied. "He can be the sweetest."

"I like that you seem happy with him." My mom said to her. "Young love, I wish you all the best. And hope you will always be happy together and safe considering what he's involved in. And also that the little one won't be in any dangerous when he or she comes."

"What?" Both Lexi and I asked looking at mom in surprise.

"Mom what are you talking about?" I asked her.

"Sweetie, I've seen it before. Lexi here seem to have that healthy pregnancy glow." Mom said smiling before looking at Lexi. "Oh dear, I'm sorry if I ruined the surprise for you."

Lexi was just as shocked as I was as we looked at each other.

Well then.