Chapter 16: SHORTCOMINGS

MILDRED’S POV

SHORTCOMINGS

My cheeks still tinged pink each time I thought of how eager I was to please the handsome ruler.

Hayden didn't want me. His actions said it all, the hate in his eyes, his coldness towards me, and how he never hesitated to hurt me made it plain our worlds ran on parallel lines.

‘Damn bastard!’ I muttered coldly.

I had effortlessly made a fool of myself. I flushed at how much I had desperately wanted to make myself seen. But now I understand better. A man of power like Hayden was difficult to please especially by someone as inexperienced as me. He had been with more than a handful of experienced girls and that swelled his ego.

Why didn't I just get whipped with a silver whip instead of going for the dildo, it hurt me really deeply that I lost my virginity to it.? The pain from the whip would have subsided by now but the pain in my heart from how disgusted he appeared from just watching me use the toy on myself was nothing compared to the whip.

And his coldness towards me afterward was another level of pain. I had exposed myself to him in ways I had never done with anyone. Death was the only cure for this embarrassment.

It had been about four days now and I didn't catch a glimpse of him. I was trapped in this room, sitting all alone by the window watching the birches and imagining what life would have been like if I were not captured by Hayden's men. But Clover.

I thought of the stoic-looking dude and hissed inwardly. One of these days I was sure I was going to make him regret capturing me. I didn't know how but I sure knew I would.

My life wasn't any better before I got here. I suffered a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, but not as much as this. No one tried to steal my virginity. Making me bleed for a toy. “Ahhh" my heart ached.

I heaved a sigh at my helplessness, and just then, there was a soft knock on the door, and I knew exactly who it was. Vanessa walked into the room with my lunch and a broad smile splayed on her beautiful face.

"Something delicious today." She winked at me moving to the table set up for my meals at the corner of the vast room.

"Where's Hayden?" I asked instead which was now a habit.

"He's having lunch out with Lady Marcella," Vanessa replied, setting the meal on the table.

Marcella. He would rather have a meal with his friend who had a mountain-size crush on him than be with his wife. What a scumbag!

"Eggplant parmesan, you're going to love it."

I barely glanced at the food. My mind was just how easy it was for Hayden to ignore me and how hard it was for me to ignore him.

"Did he say anything about me?"

Vanessa looked from the table she was setting, creased her forehead, and shook her head. "He only said he wanted to do something special for Lady Marcella. It's her birthday in two days."

"Oh, I see," I muttered bitterly.

"It's going to post a lot of work on us with the cleaning, washing, organizing, and hey, I'm not complaining." She left the table and joined me by the window. I smiled back at her but my smile didn't meet my eyes.

"You know a lot of the girls back there are super envious of you. They wish to be in your position but you look sad all the time." She looked down at her fingers.

"Not everyone is meant to be happy. Never forget that." I sighed and reflected on my life. It was true to my words.

"We all deserve to be happy." Her tone was low if she could relate to the pain. She looked up at me and smiled bitterly, "Things get really rough when you're a runt. No one wants a runt, he doesn't want me and that's fine."

"Your mate?" I asked. It was the only explanation for her mood and her attitude.

"He left, it doesn't matter. But I know that one day we will be happy. One day things will be smooth again." She sighed and got up to her feet. "Don't let your food get cold."

"Stay?" I sucked in a breath and watched as she shook her head.

"There's a lot to be done, Mi'lady. With the party, my head would get ripped off if I slacked." She smiled humorously.

"Not even if I command you to? As your Luna?"

"Fine," She settled in the space next to me on the bean bag, gazing out the window.

"Has Chase stopped by lately?" Vanessa was lost in thought, if she heard my question she didn't bother to reply. I released a breath and headed to have my lunch.

She joined me at the table and she talked lightly about the mansion and most especially Marcella.

"She's not very kind often, the few times she's nice is only when Alpha Hayden is around. Do you like Lady Marcella?" The answer was as plain as the day but I couldn't afford to be so plain. I was now a Luna and Lunas spoke with grace and sheer thoughtfulness.

"Marcella is a great woman with shortcomings, we all have our shortcomings right?"

Vanessa snorted something and broke into a laugh. "She is sick. She has these vibes around her like," she leaned in and whispered, "We call her Doll and Dolls have a ton of secrets. There are a lot of letters, secret letters she wrote Alpha Hayden but never had the balls to send. Want to see? Only then will you agree with me that she's sick."

I shook my head. I couldn't afford to let Hayden realize I left the room. "And there's a lot you will learn about Hayden from childhood photos, journals, childhood favorite toys, and a whole lot of things you'd love. You could use them to tease him."

She said as a way to bribe me but I shook my head. I couldn't disobey Hayden.

I'm sure she didn't know what awaited me if I did. She was risking it as a maid but I was being treated worse than a maid so… "I could see them some other time." I muttered.

"They will be set ablaze tonight. The attic was cleared, that's how we found Lady Marcella's letters."

The temptation was hard to resist. I needed to keep myself entertained. I could sneak Hayden's journals here and read them whenever I was bored. It could help me understand my husband better. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't want you to get in trouble. If Hayden finds me gone from the room you will get into serious trouble."

Vanessa's brow arched and the excitement left her face. She stared in a manner that suggested she was curious to know if I was trapped in this room.

I ate my lunch in silence but my mind was on Hayden's journals. I looked up from my Parmesan and met her gaze on me. "Where did they take the stuff?"

My curiosity was now taking the best of me. If I couldn't read those journals and see those childhood photos what else did I have to live for?

"Dumped in the farmhouse from which it would be taken to the incinerator. By midnight." She added the latter for my benefit.

"How long will it take for Hayden to return?" I asked with worry written all over my face.

"He has a meeting by one p.m. let's say three hours."

I glanced at the clock and a wide grin tugged my face as 12:43 p.m. was on display.

"Are you sure we should go through with this?"

Vanessa blinked rapidly at me. "We can sneak to the garden house and make it back before Hayden returns. He wouldn't even know you were gone if we were fast enough."

I nodded, moving from my plate of half-finished meals, "Anything that would save me from the boredom embedded in the walls of this room is highly appreciated."

It was all her idea to go check the photos, journals, and Marcella's creepy letters out but now she didn't look sure. I could now see fear dancing in her eyes.

"We could get in trouble if Alpha Hayden returns early," she said. Maybe she was now rethinking the risks but I had made up my mind already, I would feel terrible if I didn't get my hands on this.

"What possibly could keep us there longer than thirty minutes?" I got closer to her, "Hayden is a tough nut to crack. I need to get into his mind to know how his brain works. Which other way to get to a man's head than his journals?"

Although it sounded creepy and disrespectful to want to invade Hayden's privacy by prying into his journals and uncovering his secrets he had pried into my privacy first. He had taken the initiative to rip my dress off me, exposing me in ways I still hadn't recovered from.

This little adventure lit me up, taking off the boredom for me. I went straight into the closet to confirm my hair and eyes in the mirror. My short hair was still in place but I brushed it some more and my contacts didn't shift.

I returned to the room and Vanessa's eyes sprang on me.

"Shall we?" I raised a brow and headed towards the door.

Vanessa was a quick walker, and I had to almost jog to keep up with her as we hurried down the long hall, past the gleaming walls and gold-framed portraits, our steps echoing against the marble floor. The further we went, the quieter the house became, until we pushed through a side door that opened into the sprawling gardens.

It was hard to believe such a building was here in the opulent mansion.

It wasn't until I got in did I realized it was where the garden tools were kept and then the heaps of books, material and a lot more things than I had imagined would be here.

"How long have you been working here?"

"I've been an Omega all my life. My mother was an Omega. I grew up scrubbing the floor. My mom used to work here." Vanessa smiled.

I wandered around, brushing dust off the top of a wooden crate. My gaze caught on a pile of framed photographs leaning against the wall, half-buried under old linens. Carefully, I pulled one free and rubbed at the glass. My breath hitched.

A childhood photo of Hayden stared back at me.

Then there was a photo of a teenage Marcella and a teenage Hayden on a bicycle. They looked happy and it made my stomach twist. I didn’t like the way her smile reached for him, how natural it looked, as though she had always been meant to belong at his side.

I shoved that photo aside quickly and picked up another. This one made me pause.

It was Chase.

He looked about six years old in the photo with his hair golden, giving a toothless grin before a birthday cake. I laughed out briefly. Chase looked super cute in a way that warmed my heart.

I didn't know why but I stuffed the picture into the small plastic bag I was stuffing things that piqued my interest.

"Do you think I'm being creepy stuffing these items?"

Vanessa shook her head and just kept on staring at one of Chase's photos. I paid no attention to Marcella's letters and when I had gone through the items I released a satisfied breath and informed Vanessa it was time to leave.

I had to take a lot of items that would keep me busy whenever I was bored. And Chase's goofy face was sure going to embarrass him.

We had spent more than thirty minutes and we had about two hours to three p.m. but I still hurried down from the cabin and with the plastic bag I followed Vanessa out of the garden house.

My heart now was about sneaking back before Hayden returned.

The minutes we crossed the terrace, his sandalwood wafted up my nose and I froze on the terrace. Vanessa raised her brow my way.

"Is anything the matter?"

"Hurry to the kitchen, hurry," I said breathlessly as I heard footsteps approaching the terrace.

Vanessa seemed confused as she stood silently watching me.

"Hayden's here," I whispered with fear.

"That's not possible. There's a meeting with the elders today at noon. He can't afford to miss it."

Vanessa pushed the back door and stepped in. And there was no one there. My mind had taunted me.

I released a sigh of relief.

I towed her as we hurried towards the bedroom. I was a bit disturbed since Hayden's scent mingled in the air. Then I reminded myself this was his home and it was natural for his scent to linger.

But to be safe I needed to get back to the room as quickly as my limbs could carry me.

Miss Baxton was by the stairs and the disapproval on her face was pretty palpable. We halted before her and allowed her glares to settle on us. Her eyes shifted from my face to the plastic bag in my hand and her eyes lit up in a silent question.

But Miss Baxton didn't have the nerve to query me. Instead, she chose to take it all out on Vanessa.

"Having a great time, aren'tcha?"

"Our Luna only needed me to show her around."

My gaze darted to the main entrance double doors. Hayden could walk right through the doors any minute from now and finding me here was not going to be pleasant. At least, not for me.

The earlier I silenced Miss Baxton the better things were going to get. If she nagged the entire evening about Vanessa lazing around the entire day, moving around the mansion with Luna and Hayden picking up on it then it was game over for me.

"You too Miss Baxton, you can take the day off." I nodded at her. Relief washed through the lady's face as she stared at me, nodding appreciatively as I headed up the stairs leaving Vanessa with her.

That was enough bribe. Enough to keep a lid on my secret. Now the problem was where to hide this little inventory of mine. I was radiating with joy as I hurried to the room. Four more seconds and there was no proof I left the room.

I pushed the door open and got in with relief. My little inventory fell out of my hand, the smiles left my blanched face, and my heart momentarily stopped beating as I stopped dead in my tracks.

Because, there by the window was the devil i

n human form watching me with cold calculating eyes and a sturdy frame that seeped out calm venomous dominance.

I wished for nothing but a quick death as I stood helplessly by the door.