Chapter 259 INTO THE DARKNESS
Tatiana
His words were swallowed by the shadows as I leaned against his solid frame. His hands wrapped around my back and knees, lifting me up. I surrendered, letting the darkness take over as I slipped into unconsciousness.
…
Warmth spread across my skin, pulling me back to consciousness. I blinked awake to see flames dancing in the fireplace. Someone had brought me back to my cabin, just a mile from the nearest town.
It hit me hard how Nixx had just sent me off like that, returning me to this place of misery.
Throwing the covers off, I sat up on the couch and glanced over at the window. Outside, it was dark, the full moon casting a soft glow across my living room.
Nah.
He just did not care enough to want to stick around. He was being super protective of his pup, keeping me locked up, ensuring the pregnant lady was safe. I was just trying to stay away from my wolf because I was not strong enough to face her, but she was restless inside me.
I had moved once since my pup had passed away. Just one time. Everything went down in that cabin.
I felt like I was fading away, you know? The heartache was too much to bear.
I just wanted to be free, to finally break this mate bond, to be done with this life, and to escape all the pain that weighed me down. I longed to feel free from that loss.
Tears began to fall again, like the millionth time today. I shut my eyes, letting my guard down, allowing Nixx to see my struggles. If he did not let me go, I would make him feel what I was going through.
Thinking back to my trip to the clinic, I let my hand slide down into my boot, fingers brushing against something. I pulled out a rolled-up paper towel, carefully unrolling it until a silver scalpel slipped into my hand. I hissed as it burned my palm before I dropped it onto the couch.
I had taken it while I was in the clinic, searching for something that could help me escape this tough spot. Percival… I could tell he wanted to give up. Now I understood exactly how that felt.
I watched the flames flicker around the shiny surface of the scalpel, their dance both mesmerizing and tormenting.
Just go for it. Let yourself go, I thought.
My wolf was saying no. She wanted to go outside, to help us deal with our issues. I was not sure when she started thinking for herself.
Make the hurt go away. That was all that occupied my mind.
It felt like nobody really cared about me. I was all alone. My dad was pretty cool, but the only one I had known just turned me down. My actual dad had been killed by his own hands, and my aunt—the only mom I ever knew—had hurt me after manipulating me for her own gain.
She made me see things her way, making me feel like I had to do what she wanted for power. I was sure she loved me, but she was self-centered. My pup, the one I thought would love me… the one I could share my heart with, was gone. My buddy was now pulling the same stuff on me that had been done to him. He did not put up a fight to set me free. He just let me get sedated and tossed back into this mess.
I would prefer to be anywhere else right now.
I felt like I didn’t really have a reason to stick around anymore. I was just a nobody. A humble wolf, all alone. Not a single friend in sight. No family, really. Just me, hanging out here by myself.
Wiping away the tears that blurred my vision, I gently grabbed the scalpel, the tissue still clinging to it like a reminder of my pain. I got up and strolled to the kitchen at a relaxed pace, my feet sinking into the cool tiles. The memories washed over me, swaying me like a gentle breeze.
I remembered my fifteenth birthday. My aunt and dad—Hey, Conrad! They really wanted to make it special for me. I had been pretty sheltered. My dad never let me practice with the warriors or train at all. He spoiled me with cute dresses and pretty jewelry, anything I wanted. No boys were allowed around me, either. He treated me so well.
On that day, though, he totally went along with what I wanted. I remembered waking up early that morning to spar with him. He showed me some cool moves, nothing too serious. Later on, he and Anita took me out to the stables.
He got me my own horse for my birthday.
Just picture this—a wolf on a horse. But I really liked them. My wolf was a fan, too. That day was honestly the best ever. That night, he took me out for dinner, just the two of us. He shared stories about my actual mom, something he had never tried before. He didn’t have a ton of great stories since their relationship had its issues, but I remember it was the first time he ever showed me her photo. He always said no whenever I asked about her. I found out later it was because he didn’t have any. He got that one from Anita.
I remembered thinking how beautiful she was, so classic. I totally didn’t look anything like her.
Then there was Edeline. I lost it when I first saw her, just chilling in the driveway at the packhouse when I got there. She reminded me of my mom. I wasn’t even in the mood to chase after Percival at that moment. I thought about heading back home, but Anita… she had a way of throwing stubborn words at me that totally worked every time.
Edeline!
Thinking about her reminded me of all the wrong I had done, all the bad choices. Understanding what my mom experienced weighed heavy on my mind, especially during my pregnancy. I couldn’t shake the thought that I was messing up her life, just like my mom’s was messed up.