Goof
Leaving Silvy after our date was one of the hardest things I have had to do. So far. I wanted to go inside with her and take her to bed. Or fuck her against the wall. Or any other surface we could get to but that wasn’t what this date was about. It was about showing Silvy that we could be more than co-parents or friends with benefits. That we can be together. As a family. I wanted to show Silvy what our future date nights would look like. What being with me other than friends or sex would be like? And I could tell she had a good time. I know my girl. She loved every second of it.
And so did I. It has been a long time since I went on a date. I don’t remember having so much fun and not expecting sex from it. Or having that be my end goal. That was always my end goal. That was all I wanted. But that was before I met the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. My Silvy. As much as I wanted an answer to my proposal I didn’t bring it up. It is too soon. Even though I have made up my mind doesn’t mean she has had time to make up hers. Every call, text or time we spend together I want to beg Silvy to choose me. Choose us. But I don’t. I just keep showing up and proving to her that I’m the man she needs.
You may be wondering why I keep going. Three reasons. My little bit is the first one. The second is I can’t imagine my life without Silvy. I just wished I had woken up sooner to do something about it. And the final reason is I can see I’m getting to Silvy. It is little things like the way she lets me hold her longer. Or the way she has started giving me kisses on the cheek when I drop dinner off. That is a new thing. Or like when we went for her check-up yesterday she held my hand during the ultrasound. Or when she pointed to the screen at the arms and legs of our baby and said “ Look what we did.” We.
We still don’t know what we are having yet. I don’t know if we will. We talk back and forth about it. Both of us kind of want to know but we want to be surprised as well. We talked about it and we agreed that if we didn’t figure it out by the time Silvy was six months along we were going to keep it a surprise. Just one short month away. I can’t wait. Our baby is getting bigger every day. Just a few days ago I was having lunch with Silvy at work when the baby kicked.
Silvy just grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach. At first I didn’t feel anything and was going to move my hand. Silvy stopped me and told me to wait. I’m glad she did because the next second I felt movement. Silvy laughed at the look on my face. I know I was in awe. Silvy placed her hand on mine and said “ She is saying hi to you.” Silvy is still sure we are having a girl. I got down on my knees in front of Silvy and pressed my ear to her stomach. I got a foot to my head. I don’t know how long I sat there talking to Silvy’s stomach. To our daughter. I’m starting to think the way Silvy does.
Silvy seemed in no hurry to push me away. She even ran her fingers through my hair, smiling at me as I talked. “ Daddy can’t wait to meet you. And to hold you. But no rush. Be easy on your mom. She is working hard on growing you.” I told Silvy’s stomach. Silvy didn’t correct me when I called myself daddy. Since that day I make sure to touch Silvy’s stomach every time she is near. I don’t care who is watching. I hope I get to feel a kick again. Or see some movement. I feel like the baby knows I’m there because I get movement every time. Silvy says the baby is more active when it hears my voice. That it knows me.
It tugs at my heart. I’m hoping to feel some more today. I have become addicted to it. I know why my brothers were always smiling when they were touching their ol’e ladies' stomachs. Speed always had her hands on Gretchen’s stomach when Brick didn’t. I felt Pocket's babies move and it was cool. But to feel your own is awesome. Enough of that. Let me tell you why I am excited about tonight. We are going to our first childbirth class. Yes, I said we.
Tony was going to take Silvy but I told both of them that I was doing it. Silvy wanted to argue but Tony went to bat for me and Silvy caved. And it worked out since Gena had to cover the class for the nurse that normally does it. Leaving Tony to watch Xavier. So here I am with one arm around Silvy’s waist, the other holding her pillows and walking to the conference room setup for the class. “ Hey, Gena,” Silvy said. Gena hugged Silvy “ Hey.” Gena looks at me and I can see the wheels turning in her head.
I’m wearing my kutte so she knows I’m a Renegade. Does she have a problem with it? Or is she trying to figure out who I am to Silvy and the baby? “ Gena, this is Goof,” Silvy said. I move the hand that was holding Silvy and hold it out to Gena. “ Nice to meet you,” I said. Gena looks at me then Silvy. More like at Silvy’s belly. “ I’ll explain later,” Silvy said. Gena nods then takes my hand. “ Nice to meet you Goof,” she said. She looks at my kutte again. “ Renegades. You know Sabine and Viper?” she asked.
“ I know Pocket. She is a good friend of mine. And Viper is my Prez.” I said. Gena nods “ Since you know them and Silvy I’m going to assume you are a good man. My Tony seems to think so. Don’t prove us wrong.” Gena said. “ Gena.” Silvy groans. “ It is alright Silvy. Gena is just looking out for you. I respect that. Gena I’m going to do everything I can to not prove you wrong.” I said. “ Good. Let’s go get started.” Gena said.
We entered the room that had five other couples in it. I helped Silvy sit on the floor and sat behind her. Silvy instinctively leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her and placed my hands on her stomach. Gena told the class what she was going to go over today and what to expect from the rest of the classes. The bottom line was to teach breathing techniques that can help through the birthing process. It will teach different birthing options that are available. I didn’t know there were different options. Looks like I’m going to learn something myself instead of just supporting Silvy.
Gena went over the things each birthing coach would need to do to help the mom in labor. I just went to support Silvy but the more I learned the more I was happy to be in the class for myself. I feel like I should be taking notes. I’m going to everything Gena says and the next instructor. They even offered a class for new dads in baby care. Like diapering, bathing, swaddling and do’s and don’t’s for newborns. I am going to learn but I have a better idea than the class. I have sisters with babies I can use.
When the class ended Silvy, Gena and I walked out. “ Silvy, do you want me to give you a ride home?” Gena asked. What am I chopped liver? “ No, I’m going to see if I can’t persuade Goof to take me for cheesecake and fries,” Silvy said, rubbing her stomach. I wrap my arm around Silvy “ Just tell me where.” Gena laughs “ Go get fed. I’ll see you tomorrow for the dress fittings.” Gena left and I escorted Silvy to the car to get her snack. There was no way Silvy was going to have to persuade me. All she has to do is ask or tell me what she wants.