Chapter 30

Abby sat in the shade, pondering. Dare had gone off to get them drinks. Everyone was gathered together, over by the palms, partying. The heady rush of still being alive was the main intoxicator, the unadulterated joy of having lived through a serious tropical gale lighting a fire in their veins.

She rolled the bottle of water in her hands, feeling the contours beneath her palms as she mused.

Her parents. That’s what this current mood was all about.

What to do?

They’d abandoned her, and she felt that. Deeply. All her life they’d been vacant, all about themselves. Seemed all they’d ever given her was access to what they already had. Money, yes. Shelter and food and relative safety, yes.

But when she’d become an adult, decided what she wanted to do, they’d ducked out. Worse. They’d cut off all avenues of support as punishment for what they considered rank and unforgivable disobedience.

She remembered how she’d forced herself to call them. Remembered the anticipation of rejection, the fear. And it had come to pass. They hadn’t picked up the phone, or responded to her messages. Any of them.

The unbearable pain of not being wanted by your own parents—it was a living thing in her body, one she shut down as often as she could. Yet, it spread tendrils into the rest of her life.

She hated being ignored. Hated it. And no wonder why.

At that moment, she felt an imperceptible tug, looked up. Caught Dare’s gaze aimed at her, across the sand, from way over where the guys were.

Obviously, he was allowing her alone time to process. Smart guy.

But as she stared at him, implicit in his gaze was the strong and unbreakable query—You okay?

And as she stared at him, the rest became evident too, in the stiffening of his musculature, the determined expression on his face—

Because if you need me, I’m here.

I’m here.

He’d bolt back to her in a second.

Seeing her smile at him, he seemed to have received her message and his face relaxed. He turned back to the group, just in time to get a huge thump on the back from Jake, one that sent him skittering forward into the sand.

She laughed. A miracle. Her dude.

Dare was back.

Yes, he’d hurt her, in the past. It had been an aberration and it had sucked. But they’d started out strong, so strong, then gone through growing pains, and here they were again. Solid, or going that way, it seemed.

And if she had any doubts about it all, the dude had clawed his way back through a tropical storm for her. Lost an important business connection to do so, and had made that decision, actively. Not out of reaction, but…he’d gone against the grain to do so.

Because of love.

A love that hadn’t died, despite what they’d done to each other.

Yes, it had killed her when he’d ignored her for so long. But he had been living, alive in his own pain, all the time.

And it hit her.

When people were alive in their own pain, it drowned everything else out. The needs of others. Hell, even their own legitimate needs. They didn’t think straight.

Hadn’t she been like that with Dare, too? Hadn’t she ignored the hell out of him? Thrown pain and rejection back into his face, publicly, when he’d shown up at her office?

Something shifted in her.

She took her cell phone determinedly, clicked on calendar. Picked a date one week from today, typed Call Mom. Clicked on repeat, selected every month.

Considered, deselected every month. Clicked every three months instead. Hit save.

Stuffed the phone back in her pocket.

“Here.”

He stood once again in front of her. Her hero. Delta North hero, no doubt, but more important? Her own, personal hero. Her mind flew to the post-tempest coconut. “Delivering drinks again?”

He wiped the bits of damp sand from the side of the tumbler, placed it in her hand, then dropped down onto the cool beach. “Seems like that’s all I ever do with you.”

Her senses tingled. His scent mixed with the hot sun, the sweat from the day’s crazy activities a sensual blur that made her want to touch him. Meld her naked frame to his. Again. “Well, that’s not all.”

He grinned, his blue eyes focusing on her, the light in them steady. “Agreed.” He breathed deeply, leaned back against her log, stretched one leg out, the other bent, his arm resting on it. “What are you going to do?”

She swallowed. “It won’t be easy. But I’ll keep trying.”

He seemed to know intuitively what she was referring to. “Won’t that hurt?”

She shrugged, picked up a stick, pulled it lightly through the sand. “I won’t do it every week. I’m thinking once every quarter. One time I’ll call mom, or email her some stupid thing she might be interested in. Next time, I’ll do the same with Dad. That way I can deal and I’ve got lots of space in between, but I’m not cutting them off.”

“They won’t be happy we’re back together. For good.”

“Nothing I can do about that. But also, once the blog is established, so I’m doing it on my own, not asking them for anything, I’ll apply to help out some of the charities on their list. Maybe do a partnership with them. Offer my services, free.”

Dare cocked his head. “Really?”

“Yeah. And if they see I’m giving value to their business—they know that kind of stuff is big for public opinion and goodwill, it might help. Build a bridge. Something.”

“So the formula is keep in touch, not ask for anything, and once in a while, add value? To their interests?”

Abby chuckled, drew a slow, curvy line in the sand this time. “Seems to be.”

“I’m with a freakin’ brainiac.”

She grinned. “And don’t you forget it.”

“Seriously though, Abs—why?”

She looked at the face of the man she loved and thought—we’re back. We’re back together. It took a shitstorm in our lives, and a tropical storm to boot, but we’re back.

And whatever he needed—whatever she could reasonably do for him—was done. She’d look at her pokey places, her weaknesses with a new eye, and if she could assist him with his goals—it was done. It was important.

Just as he’d do for her, because…he loved her. And they were in it for the long-term. Till death, and all that.

“I need to do this for me, first. They’re people. Flawed. Like me. Like you. I’ll hang in, hold space. I won’t let them abuse me. But I’ll hold space.”

There was a weird glimmer in his eyes—was that a sheen?

She stumbled over her next words as the emotions welled, but continued quickly. To get it out.

She had to get it out.

“And one day, if they’re ready, we’ll start the job of patching up. May be quick, may take a while. Things may never be picture perfect. But I want us to be there for each other.”

He looked away suddenly, and she watched him as his eyes seemed to fix on a distant spot, over past the beach, on the dancing waves. Then his gaze was back on her face, and she saw the look she knew was the epitome of everything she’d loved about them. The bit that meant the most—and she’d never realized it before. Not until this moment.

Trust. Open, unabashed love for her, with trust at its base. Its core.

The trust.

That was it. His heartfelt, almost child-like, trust.

God, she’d missed that, and later she’d devour the memory when she had a moment. Look for the hidden meanings, all that esoteric crap she normally thrived on.

But there, that look…that was the prize.

“And the other reason?”

“For you. I’ve got some money to give you for the business, and I’ll do without a couple of things for now. Yes, yes, I know…” she hurried, as he started sputtering. “Shut it, for a minute. Let me finish. Cripes.” And she grinned.

He returned the grin, shut it, as ordered.

“So that’s the money thing sorted. I’ll try one of my dad’s old business contacts as a connection for you, to replace what you lost from McTwit. But down the road, my dad can help. And I’ll approach him. Not right now, but in a bit. As things ripen. I’ll do that. So it’s for you too.”

“I’m obviously not going to win this fight,” he muttered, not thrilled, she could see, but acquiescing.

“Smart man,” she said. He pushed up off the sand, planted himself on the log. She nudged her ass over beside his as he wrapped an arm around her, squeezed her tight. A deep sigh, one of total relaxation, unfurled in her. She could sit like this, forever. With her man.

And as matters go, of course, that’s when his cellphone had to go off.

He gave it a lazy look, then immediately blinked. “What the..

“Huh?”

“Omg. It’s…can’t believe it.”

The next few moments passed as he hungrily devoured the screen. When he texted back a quick response, then shoved the device in his pocket he turned to her, eyes large.

“He’s back. At least, he will be, soon.”

Much as she loved him and the moment had been perfect, she wanted to pop him one. Or at the very least, tumble him off the log into the warm sand.

“Still not a mind-reader. Who?”

“Just scared to say the words.” He paused. “Nathan.”

Surprise flitted through her. “Omg. Nathan? Hero?”

A blast from the past. A sincere, good guy who was part of their past, and a fixture in Jack’s Bay, she’d always liked Nathan. But he’d also been troubled, with serious family shit to contend with. He’d run off to war to get some peace. Which she’d always thought showed exactly how bad his family life had been. When you’d rather go off and get shot at… “What’s up? Is he okay?”

Dare pursed his lips. “Says he’s good. Better than good…great. Amazing.” He paused. “Said he’s coming back, from Delta North, Abby. Honorable discharge. He’s coming home.”

“Well, that’s good news, right? Though I’m surprised he’d come back to Jack’s Bay. I thought he said that was never happening.”

“Yeah, and it won’t now, either. He said if things go well, he may swing by. But not to Jack’s Bay. Says he’ll meet me at Balsam Lake, if I want.” He paused. “At the lake house.”

More shock. Balsam Lake wasn’t that far. Sure, it wasn’t Jack’s Bay, but it was still in the general area. And the lake house? It held memories for all of them, that was for sure. “But I thought he wanted to stay far away.”

“He did. But he’s got a woman now, and says he’s happy.” Dare continued to mutter. “Can’t believe it.”

Abby tugged him close, as she made her peace with the general scenario, for Nathan. “Well, that’s good news, then. I always did like Nathan. Hard not to. If’ he’s good now…”

But she was stopped cold by the grim look on Dare’s face. Apprehension slashed through her. “What?”

Dare shook his head slowly, his jaw set. “Not sure, Abby. But that guy. Whenever anything started to go really well for him…”

Shades of their past intruded. It hadn’t only been her and Dare that had had issues. Nathan had been the forerunner for life messes, it seemed. Both Eli and him, to be honest.

“…the bottom fell out. Is that what you’re thinking? That life still might not be done with him?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Worse than before.” He shook his head. “No, I’m not going to be superstitious. I’m going to hope that this time, it won’t happen. I told him to contact me if and when he’s really back, and we’ll meet up.”

She deliberately pushed the worrisome thought away, but decided she’d keep track of the lonely young man, too. He was part of their tribe, and a Delta North man, to boot.

Dare gave her a squeeze. “With you too, of course.” His voice lowered. “Won’t go anywhere, without you.”

Despite the unsettling stuff they’d just talked about, she eased. She wasn’t sure why, but that made her so feel good.

Aww hell, she knew why. She murmured her response, as if it didn’t matter. But it did. It meant the world to her. “Of course.”

“Now, it’s about the two of us, right, Babe?”

“Right.”

They sat there for long minutes, watching the ocean lazily, sipping their drinks, their toes in the warm sand. The crash of the waves was a gentle rhythm around them, as the soft breeze played about them.

“So where are we off to now, Queen Bee?” The use of her old nickname flickered through her like oxygen. Strong. Right. The way it always was before, and was again.

“Home.” She sighed. “To Jack’s Bay. Your dump. To Ralph. My mutt. My perfect mutt.”

“Our Ralph. And he’s going to go nuts. Absolutely nuts,” he murmured as he nuzzled her cheek. All she could see out of the one eye, if she didn’t shutter them, was him. Dare. Up close, skewed.

But perfect in all his imperfections. Her Delta North man.

But just to make sure things were truly on a good footing, she had one, last necessary piece of business. And she thought she could slip it in easily while his lips were nibbling at her cheek, making his way down to her mouth.

“Before you start anything here though, Stud, I get the front room for my photography. You’ll have to clear your old tires and crap out of it. Any of your military mementos, we’ll find a special spot for, but other than that, that room is mine. Got that?”

The scenery blurred as he took her mouth and everything else was knocked out of her brain, but him. Them.

Except for the most important words he expelled before inhaling her alive. Good to know she still had the touch for love and necessary business too.

“Whatever you want, babe. You got it.”