Chapter 39

3:00 AM.

The shrill ring of my alarm shattered the silence. My heart slammed against my ribs as I reached for it, silencing the sound before it could betray me. I lay still for a moment, listening. Nothing. Just the quiet hum of the night, the occasional groan of the house settling.

I shifted beneath the silk sheets, their softness an odd contrast to the cold dread pooling in my stomach. When—if—I ever escaped, I might take one with me. Something to remind me that not everything in this place was a nightmare. That at least one thing had been warm, gentle.

Carefully, I pushed the covers aside and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, my feet barely making a sound against the floor. One step at a time. I moved toward the door, pressing my palm against it, feeling the cool wood beneath my fingers. Slowly. Quietly.

I turned the handle, easing the door open with painstaking patience. The hallway stretched before me, dimly lit by the soft glow of sconces along the walls. Empty. No guards in sight. My pulse steadied, just a little. Maybe luck was on my side tonight.

As I took my first step out, something brushed against my leg.

My skeleton nearly jumped out of my skin.

A gasp clawed up my throat, my body tensing in terror as I snapped my head down—ready to bolt, ready to fight.

Elsa.

The little rabbit sat by my feet, her soft nose twitching as she sniffed at me. Jesus Christ. My body sagged with relief, but my hands still trembled as I scooped her up, pressing her small, warm body against my chest.

I wanted to tell her to stay put, but I knew she wouldn't understand. And I couldn't leave her behind. If something happened to me, if Adrik found out I was sneaking out, I didn't trust that he'd spare her just because she was small and innocent.

I tucked Elsa close, smoothing a hand over her fur to calm both of us. Then I moved.

I slipped down the hallway, every step measured, every breath controlled. One wrong move, one sound too loud, and it was over.

My pulse pounded in my ears as I descended, my weight shifting from heel to toe, slow and deliberate. Elsa pressed against my chest, warm and quiet. She could probably feel my heart racing beneath my ribs.

I reached the bottom without a sound. Almost there.

The garden was outside, through the glass doors at the end of the hall. My hidden birth control was inside the old tree, tucked deep into the hollow. The only thing standing between me and it was the vast stretch of cold marble and the shadows lurking at the corners.

I pressed forward, inching toward the doors, praying to a God. If Adrik ever found out what I was doing, I wouldn't live to see another sunrise.

The thought sent a sharp spike of fear through my veins. I swallowed it down and kept moving.

The doors loomed ahead. Almost there.

I finally reached the tree, my breath coming in short, shaky gasps. The night air was sharp against my skin, but I barely felt it. My entire focus was on the hollow in the bark, the tiny stash of pills wrapped in cloth, hidden away like a secret I would die to protect.

With trembling fingers, I unwrapped the bundle, popping the pills into my mouth and swallowing them dry. The bitter taste clung to my tongue, but I forced it down. One more night safe. One more night without him trapping me forever.

Just as I was about to wrap the pills back up, ready to shove them into their hiding place—

"Ma'am?"

My blood ran cold.

The tiny bundle of pills almost slipped from my fingers as I spun around, heart hammering against my ribs.

A guard stood at the edge of the garden, his dark uniform blending into the shadows. His face was unreadable, but his stance was rigid, authoritative. Watching.

Had he seen?

I clutched Elsa closer to my chest, forcing my expression into something neutral, something that wouldn't immediately betray the terror flooding my veins. The tiny rabbit stirred against me, as if sensing my fear.

I swallowed hard, stepping forward slightly, subtly shifting my body to shield the tree behind me. "What are you doing out here?" My voice was barely above a whisper, but the words still felt too loud in the suffocating stillness.

The guard's gaze flickered over me, lingering on the silk nightgown brushing against my ankles. The chill in the air suddenly felt unbearable. Exposed. Vulnerable. Trapped.

"I was patrolling, ma'am," he said. His voice was steady, clipped. Too careful. Too calculated. Like he was studying me.

I forced a slow breath through my nose, willing my pulse to slow. Calm. Stay calm. Do not give him a reason to look closer.

"I couldn't sleep," I lied, shifting Elsa in my arms as if that explained everything. "I thought some fresh air would help."

The guard didn't respond right away. His gaze drifted toward the tree. Toward the ground right near where I had just crouched.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

If he saw the pills—if he knew—

I curled my fingers into the soft fur of Elsa's back, forcing myself to stay still, to breathe, even as every muscle in my body screamed to run.

A long moment passed. The tension thickened, pressing against my ribs, suffocating.

Then—

"You shouldn't be out here alone, ma'am," he said finally. His voice was calm. Deceptively so. "It isn't safe."

I knew what he meant. Not the night. Not the cold.

Adrik.

It was a warning. A subtle, unspoken reminder of exactly what kind of cage I was in.

I forced a small nod. "You're right." My voice came out softer than I intended. "I should go back inside."

The guard held my gaze a moment longer, then stepped back, tilting his head toward the house. "I'll walk you back."

Panic coiled in my gut. If he followed me all the way to my room, he'd see the pills. He'd see.

But I couldn't refuse. That would only make it worse.

Trapped. Trapped. Trapped.

With a silent prayer, I turned, moving slowly toward the house. Elsa twitched in my grip, but I held her tighter, using her warmth to anchor myself.

The guard's presence was a heavy weight at my back, his footsteps a quiet, steady reminder that no matter how much I tried to pretend, I was never alone.

Each step back toward the house felt like a countdown to my own demise.

The weight of the tiny pill packet burned in my palm, hidden against Elsa's soft fur. My fingers curled tightly around it, as if I could will it into nothingness.

The mansion loomed ahead, its many windows staring back like hollow, empty eyes. The front door was slightly ajar, a faint glow spilling out from within.

I swallowed down the panic clawing at my throat and kept walking, my pace measured, careful. The guard was close behind, his presence like a noose tightening with each step.

At the entrance, he reached past me and pulled the door open wider. I stepped in quickly, inhaling the faint scent of Adrik's cologne lingering in the halls. He hadn't been here for a week, but the house still smelled like him.

The guard lingered just behind me.

"Get some rest, ma'am."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. My pulse pounded so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

The moment I reached my door, I stepped inside and shut it quickly. My fingers fumbled to lock it, twisting the key before pressing my forehead against the cool wood.

I uncurled my fingers and stared at the crumpled packet of pills. The foil was slightly bent from how hard I had gripped it.

A tremor wracked through me.

I moved toward the small drawer near my bed and lifted the false bottom, carefully tucking the pills beneath it. My hands still shook as I closed it back up.

Elsa wriggled in my arms, nuzzling against my neck. A small, fragile comfort.

I let out a shaky breath and carried her to the bed, sinking onto the mattress.

The night stretched on, suffocating and endless.

I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling, Elsa curled up beside me. Her soft breaths were the only thing keeping me tethered to reality. But my own breathing was uneven, my heart still hammering from the near miss in the garden.

Adrik would kill me. Not just hurt me—not just punish me—he would end me if he ever found out.

A baby.

The thought made my stomach churn.

I forced my eyes shut, but sleep didn't come.