Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty.

Jhelani's POV:

He smelled of rain and wild things I couldn't put a name to. Like an undercurrent of danger.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered out, my voice cracking. The fear I felt was still in my veins, my knees trembling and threatening to buckle.

He’s close enough that I can see where the light picks out the gold flecks in his brown eyes.

“Jhelani,” he says my name on his tongue and it’s not a warning. It was a want. Cravings in the most subtle way.

He steps forward, closing the little gap between us. The low hitch of his breath, the heat from his chest, and the way his hand moves gently toward me are all noticeable. Then, he lifts my chin upward to meet his gaze...

I saw desire in his eyes. Raw in flesh and he didn't hide it.

His palm settles against the bark of the tree right beside my shoulder, it’s not rough.

He pins me there with gentle pressure, not because he wants to hurt me, I realize, but because if he didn’t the space between us might fold and swallow us both.

I thought after what he said yesterday, he wouldn't want to be with me or see my face.

He was clearly pissed off when he left the coffee shop but now, we were pressed close enough for our breaths to mingle, each inhalation sending tremors through my body.

"What are you doing here...in the woods?" I asked again while staring straight into his eyes.

And I saw that...

Aside from the desire in them, I could see he was broken. There was a lost and broken soul in him.

"I've missed you, Jhelani," he dropped like a bomb and I was shaken. He misses me?

I felt my heartbeat quickening. Palpitating.

"Words can't explain the way I am feeling right now. I—I can't breathe when you're not here with me. It's like you carry a piece of me wherever you go. A very vital part of myself is in your hands, Jhelani. You have my heart and I can't seem to lie to myself anymore. To keep this feeling to myself anymore because it's gradually eating me up, tearing up my soul and leaving a deep scar there," he said, sounding hurt. His voice cracked as he spoke like a wounded puppy.

My heart ached. It's been so long since I've seen Kian looking so vulnerable. He was always my confidante. The one I turn to and tell everything

to during my sad times and happy ones. And he did the same.

He always made sure to tell me everything and anything until it all changed suddenly and then he began to grow distant. The same for Damon and Jace. They refused to talk to me and sometimes wouldn't want to see me at all.

And when they did, that's when the bullying came in.

They hurt my fragile heart so much that I cried myself to sleep every night, wondering what I did wrong to earn such change from them.

Cursing my miserable self and saying, of course, I must've done something stupid, and now they hate me. I refused to eat, growing leaner day by day.

I kept budging them, asking—begging on my knees that they tell me what I did wrong but they won't tell me anything. Worse, they dumped a bucket of liquid paint over my head, staining my uniform and I became the laughing stock of the whole school as I walked down the hallway.

He paused, his eyes growing tender, clouded with emotions.

My breath seized as he carved his palm on either side of my cheeks gently, leaning towards me. He whispered. "And the only one—the only person who can heal that scar is you, Jhelani."

My lips quivered, tears brimming in my eyes, but I refused to let it fall.

I shoved his hand off my cheeks, stepping away and turning my back on him. I folded my arms, shielding them from the cold that hit me instantly I turned away from him.

"Then tell me why, Kian," I whispered quietly, all the memories hitting again. "Tell me why you guys cut me off like that. You all cut me off so easily like I meant absolutely nothing to you guys. I tried to live with the truth that I was now your enemy. I made myself believe that you guys never wanted me. I forced myself to loathe y'all for hurting me the way you did. But—it was hard. It is hard to hate the people once loved and cherished so much." My voice broke, subbing.

I heard the leaves crushing under his boots, strutting towards me. I clenched my heart, holding my breath until I felt the feathered graze of his fingers on my skin, wrapping around my arm. Then he appeared in my vision, and I quickly wiped off those damn tears.

"You may not believe this, but it was equally hard for us too. And we never hated you. We were in a tight spot. The pressure on our shoulders forced us to seal our lips and shut out every feeling we had. We were very close friends, remember? Don't say you forgot," he said, and I laughed.

"We were friends, Kian. We 'were'" I said, dragging out the inevitable past tense in the truth. "And it didn't seem to be hard if I think back to those days," I said looking away angrily.

I felt his strong arm wrap up around my waist and suddenly jolt me close, colliding with his chest. I could feel his tensed muscles against my body.

Having him this close was doing things to me.

I swallowed hard, refusing to look at him.

"And I am sorry. I am sorry for putting you through all that, Lani," he said and my eyes flew to his face.

Lani? He still recalled my nickname. They were the only ones who had the right to call me by that name.

I wanted to pretend I didn't hear the nickname or apology but the sincere look in his eyes tugged at my heart like a plea.

I hardened my voice. "But I still want to know why. Why did you guys do that to me? What were your reasons? What pressure are you talking about? Who put you in a tight spot?"

His eyes moved, unable to look straight at me the way they did a second ago. His throat worked, bobbing his Adam's apple painfully.

I smiled, biting my inner lip until it hurt. "You can't still tell me, can you?"

"Not that I can't," he murmured.

"Then what's fucking holding you back?" I yelled at him, almost losing my mind. He still refused to look me in the eyes. Not saying a word.

I toned my voice down, struggling to hold in the anger spiking through my veins.

"Damon came to me last evening, telling me to get the fuck out of town." I dropped, and his eyes landed on me. His lips parted to say something, like he had a lot to say but then he shut it back up. Swallowing.

"But heaven knows that there's no way I, Jhelani Snowfire, will pack up my things and leave for good if I don't get answers. If you all still refuse to tell me why I need to leave Town, why you guys cut ties with me then don't fucking expect anything from me." I said with finality in my tone before I turned on my heels and left, walking my way home with nothing but my pajamas and flip-flops.

He didn't come after me. I didn't hear the leaves munch under his boots. It was only the howl of the wind in the woods that got to my ears.

I had the urge to look back. To see if he was looking at me. Maybe he might change his mind and open up to me the way we always did, but when I turned, he wasn't there anymore.

My heart ached more than anything I've ever felt before. Disappointment was all over my face, and slowly I turned away, heading for the road.

It wasn't far anymore. I could see it. Just about thirty steps more, and I burst out on the roadside.

How I got here was what I didn't know. Was I sleepwalking or have my nightmares become crazier than they were? They now hunt me while I'm wide awake. I thought, walking on the sidewalks.

"Get on and I will tell you everything."

I jumped, surprised by the voice that broke the silence surrounding me. Kian had appeared on his motorcycle.

I didn't hear the hum of his motorcycle coming from the distance, leaving me to think that maybe I was so far gone in my thoughts.

I stared at him for a long time, trying to gauge the look on his face. It turns out that he wasn't joking. He looked serious and ready for an open conversation.

He gestured with his eyes to the space behind him on his bike, "Come on." He said.

I wanted to ask if he was truly going to open up

to me and where we were going, but I bit my lips, chewing back the questions before I got on his power bike.