Chapter 64

Chapter 64 (Alex’s POV)

It had been hours since the others left the room. They’d given us space. Said they’d check in later, but I knew they wouldn’t push. Not yet. Not until we figured this out—until I figured it out.

I sat across from her, just looking. Watching.

Nell was sitting on the edge of the bed, her fingers twisting through the fabric of her shirt. She wasn’t speaking, but I could see her mind was racing. Her eyes were clouded, distant, but every now and then, they’d flicker to me—softly, unsure, like she was afraid if she looked too long, I’d disappear.

I felt her fear, the hesitation in her movements. She wasn’t just lost in the memory of everything that had happened between us—she was terrified of what had been taken from her, and terrified of what it all meant now.

She was still my Nell. But she was also someone different. Someone… changed. And I wasn’t sure if that change would bring us closer—or drive us further apart.

Her voice broke the silence first, quiet and strained.

“Alex... you didn’t know, did you?”

I sat up straighter, leaning toward her.

“No,” I said softly. “Not until it was too late.”

Her lips trembled as she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “And you still... you still stayed. Even knowing I was part of it. Part of that.”

I couldn’t look away from her, my heart sinking further with every word. “I didn’t know, Nell. I wasn’t part of this until I found out about you. About us.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in a sharp breath. This wasn’t going to be easy. And maybe I didn’t deserve to make it easy for her.

“I didn’t know what I was agreeing to. They made it sound like a harmless experiment. They told me it was a test for memory loss, to help people like me,” I said, voice low, regret seeping into my words. “They didn’t tell me that it would involve you. Or anyone else.”

I could see her fingers twitch. She wasn’t looking at me anymore. She was lost in her thoughts, piecing together something she didn’t want to understand.

“You think I’m angry at you,” she said softly, but the hurt was clear in her voice. “But I’m not. I’m angry at what they did. I’m angry at myself for letting them.”

I watched her carefully. “Nell—”

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she whispered, her voice cracking. Her eyes welled with unshed tears, and I saw the rawness, the vulnerability in her. She was fighting against herself, fighting against the memories, fighting against what was stolen. And there I was, the person who had been part of the theft, not knowing how to put it right.

I stood up, unable to sit still anymore, the need to be closer to her overwhelming. I moved toward the bed, and without a word, I sat beside her.

Her eyes met mine briefly, but I could see how guarded she was, how afraid of me—afraid of us—she had become.

“You’re not broken,” I said gently, my voice a low whisper in the stillness. “And neither am I. Whatever they did to us, whatever this is, we can fix it. I promise.”

I reached for her hand. It was trembling slightly in mine. I held it tighter.

“Nell,” I murmured. “Please. Let me in.”

Her gaze softened, but it was like she was fighting herself, trying to hold back all the confusion and pain. But then she looked at me again, really looked. And in her eyes, I saw it—the flicker of recognition, of trust.

“I want to remember, Alex,” she said softly, almost as if it were a confession. “I want to remember us.”

Her words hit me like a wave, crashing over me.

“You will,” I promised her.

\---

It wasn’t the first time we had kissed.

But it felt like it.

Her lips were soft against mine at first, hesitant, like she was afraid of what might come next. But I couldn’t hold back. I needed her. I needed to feel her—to remind her of everything we had been. Of everything we could be.

Her body shifted against mine, and I pulled her closer, her warmth filling me up as if we were reconnecting in a way that only felt real when I was touching her. The kiss deepened. She responded—softly at first, but then, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back like she had been waiting for this moment.

And then it was like we both couldn’t get enough of each other.

I ran my hand down the curve of her back, feeling her warmth seep through the thin fabric of her shirt, and I couldn’t help myself—my body responded to her like it always had. Strong, urgent, desperate for something that was only ours.

I pulled away just enough to look at her, her chest rising and falling with her breaths. Her eyes were closed, but I saw the way her lips parted, the way she reached for me again, like she couldn’t resist either.

I whispered her name. “Nell, I need you to remember me. Us. Please.”

She breathed my name back like a prayer, and before I could stop myself, I kissed her again. This time, harder. More desperate. It was a feeling I hadn’t known I’d been missing until I had her pressed up against me again.

But somewhere in the heat of it, in the passion of finally being able to touch her without any walls between us, I could feel the shift. I could feel her pulling away just a little.

I paused, pulling back to look at her, breathing heavily.

“What is it?” I asked, panic stirring inside me.

She swallowed hard, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t think I can remember.”

My heart dropped.

“Nell,” I whispered, brushing her tears away. “No. We’ll get it back. You’ll remember me. I’ll make you remember.”

Her hands were trembling, but she touched my cheek, then leaned in, pressing a kiss against my lips softly.

“You have to help me,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

And before I could respond, the urge to kiss her again overwhelmed me.

I pulled her closer, kissing her slowly, softly, but with a fierceness that told her everything I couldn’t say.

We didn’t stop.

We couldn’t.

\---

We eventually pulled away, both of us breathless, hearts racing. But this time, there was something new between us—a deeper connection, a promise.

“I’m here,” I said softly. “I’ll always be here.”

She looked at me through blurry eyes, the confusion still there, but the love? It was real. We both felt it.

“I love you, Alex,” she whispered.

I nodded, holding her tighter. “I love you too. And I’m not going anywhere.”

\---

A long time passed. We sat in silence for a while, just holding each other, letting everything settle.

I had to make sure she was okay. That she remembered. But in that moment, it didn’t matter how it happened. All I knew was that I had her again.

And I wasn’t going to lose her.