Chapter 81: Eighty One

The apartment was dark except for the soft glow of Noah’s nightlight and the streetlamp streaming through the curtains. I sat cross-legged on the living room floor, the remnants of dinner still on the coffee table. My chest was tight, my thoughts tangled.

Declan was back.

The man I had loved truly, madly, and recklessly was here. And I had seen him. Spoken to him. Felt his eyes on me like a hawk.. His voice had cracked something open in me that I’d spent five years patching over.

I didn’t know what to do with that.

Noah was asleep in his room. Jacob was at a late-night client dinner. I should have been doing the dishes, or folding laundry, or replying to the twenty unread work emails piling up in my inbox. Instead, I pulled out my phone and scrolled until I found Cassie.

It rang twice.

“Willow?” Her voice was warm, sleepy. “It’s 11 p.m. You okay?”

I hesitated. “Can I tell you something? Something kind of... huge?”

Cassie sat up in her room, I could almost see it, I could hear the shift in her tone immediately. “Of course. What’s going on?”

I took a breath, then another. “I met Declan today.”

A pause. Then, “What?”

“At the grocery store. Noah ran off for a second and I chased after him, and, and there he was. Just... standing there. Looking at me like he’d seen a ghost.”

Cassie exhaled hard. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he see Noah?”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “No. I made sure. He just saw me.”

“What did you say?”

I closed my eyes, remembering the way his eyes had softened. The way his hand brushed my arm and sent a shiver down my spine. “Nothing important. He said he was here for work. I told him I was fine. I lied, obviously. I’ve been a mess all day.”

“Did he look angry?” she asked. “Or... I don’t know. Was he happy?”

I thought about it. “He looked hurt. Maybe confused. And tired. There was something... tired in his face. But he was polite. Gentle, even.”

Cassie was quiet on the other end for a moment. “So he doesn’t know. About Noah.”

“No,” I whispered. “He doesn’t know he has a son.”

The words tasted bitter. I curled my arms around myself like they could protect me from the truth.

“I always thought you’d tell him one day,” Cassie said softly. “Even if it wasn’t right away.”

“I thought I would too,” I said. “But then Jacob showed up, and everything got complicated. He offered to take care of us, and I didn’t think I could do it on my own. And then one year turned into five.”

“You did what you thought was right,” she said gently.

“Did I?” My voice cracked. “Because now he’s here. And I can’t breathe. And I can’t look at Jacob without feeling like I’ve betrayed both of them.”

Cassie sighed. “I’m not going to pretend this isn’t complicated. But you have a good life now, Wills. You have Noah. You have Jacob. And maybe this doesn’t have to change anything.”

“But it already has,” I whispered. “The second I saw him again, it changed everything.”

There was a pause. “Do you still love him?”

I didn’t answer.

I didn’t have to.

Cassie waited a beat before continuing, her voice softer now. “Willow, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “He’s going to find out eventually. He’s working with our nonprofit this summer. I’ll see him again. We are literaly working together. Today was so awkward. We’ll have to talk, together. And the moment he sees Noah...”

“He’ll know,” she finished.

I buried my face in my hands. “And then what? Will he hate me for keeping it from him? Will he want custody? Will Jacob find out and leave me? Will I ruin everything?”

Cassie let out a breath. “You can’t live like this. You have to decide what kind of life you want. Hiding things from Jacob isn’t fair to him or to you. And Declan… he deserves the truth. At least, part of it.” She paused, “But its okay if you want to protect yourself, and the life you have now.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I said.

“I know. You can take your time deciding, Wills.”

There was a long silence on the line. I could hear the faint sound of Cassie’s breathing, and my own heart pounding in my ears.

Finally, she asked, “Are you okay?”

“No,” I admitted. “But I will be. I have to be.”

I hung up a few minutes later, Cassie’s reassurances echoing in my ears. But they didn’t settle me. They didn’t quiet the storm that had begun to churn in my chest.

I walked to Noah’s room and stood at the doorway, watching him sleep. His little chest rose and fell beneath his blanket. He clutched his stuffed whale, a gift from Jacob’s mom in one hand, his thumb tucked in his mouth.

My heart ached.

How long could I keep this secret?

Would Declan look at Noah and see himself?

Would Jacob look at me and see a liar?

I walked back to my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. My phone buzzed with a message from Jacob:

"Dinner went late. Headed home now. Love you. Can’t wait to marry you."

I stared at the screen, my stomach knotting.

I typed out a reply:

"Love you too. Drive safe."

Then I lay back on the bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.

Declan was back.

And the past, no matter how deeply I thought I had buried it had finally found me.