Chapter 79: Seventy Nine

My hands were shaking as I reached for Noah, who was crouched by the toy aisle again, his brow furrowed in concentration. His fingers were making two plastic reptiles wrestle each other. He didn’t even notice the haunted look on my face. Children had the privilege of ignorance.

“There you are,” I said, crouching next to him, brushing my fingers over his hair. “You can’t run off like that.”

“I didn’t run,” he said seriously, eyes still on his tiny green T-Rex. “I was walking. I promise, Mommy.”

I swallowed, forcing a smile. “Okay, dino boy. Time to check out.”

As we wheeled the cart toward the register, he tugged on my sleeve. “Who was that man you were talking to?”

My entire body stilled.

I looked down at him, trying to keep my face neutral. “What man?”

“The tall one by the milk. He looked really mad, and angry, and also sad.”

I let out a breath, then laughed lightly. “Just an old friend, baby. That’s all.”

He tilted his head at me, not quite satisfied. “Did you know him from when you were kids?”

“No,” I said quickly, grabbing a box of cereal from the cart and placing it on the belt. “But listen, let’s not tell Daddy about him, okay?”

“Why?” he asked, frowning.

I couldn’t believe I was asking my kid to lie to his father.

“Because it’s not important,” I said gently. “And sometimes grown ups just don’t want to explain everything. Okay?”

Noah looked up at me, then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

We drove home in silence. He hummed something tuneless in the back seat while I gripped the wheel like it was the only thing keeping me upright. My mind was stuck in a loop, imagining Declan’s face, the slight tremble in his voice, the way he looked at me like he’d seen a ghost. Which, I guess, he had.

I parked in our driveway, trying to remember how to breathe. The porch light was already on.

Jacob was home.

Inside, the house smelled like basil and garlic. Something was simmering. I could hear Noah’s excited footsteps run into the kitchen. Jacob greeted him with a warm laugh.

“There’s my favorite little guy! Did you fight any dragons at the store today?”

“Nope,” Noah said, bouncing on his toes. “Just dinos.”

I stood in the entryway, frozen for a beat, then walked in.

Jacob turned toward me. He was still in his work clothes, dark slacks and a soft blue shirt with the sleeves rolled. The sight of him should have made me feel grounded. Instead, I felt like I was lying. I kind of was.

“There you are,” he said, brushing a kiss on my forehead. “You okay? You’re late.”

“There was traffic,” I said automatically. “And... I lost track of time.”

He studied me, concern flickering in his eyes. “You sure?”

I nodded, setting the bags on the counter. “Yeah. Just tired.”

He came up behind me, his hands sliding around my waist. “I’m glad you’re home.”

“I’m glad too,” I whispered, leaning back into him.

And I meant it. I did. Jacob had been my rock for so long, my safe harbor in the storm I created. But in that moment, all I could think about was the way Declan had looked at me.

_____

After dinner, when Noah had been tucked into bed, and the dishwasher hummed softly in the background, I sat on the couch, scrolling through old photos on my phone. My thumb hovered over one of me and Jacob at the park, Noah on his shoulders, all three of us laughing.

I remember that day. It had been hot. The stroller wheel had squeaked annoyingly. But I’d felt content. Safe.

Jacob had been there from the beginning. After I ran from Declan, after I disappeared, Jacob had been the one to find me. He called me over and over, until one day I finally answered. I told him everything. I didn’t mean to, but it spilled out of me like a flood. I was so alone and so distraught and he had always been my friend.

And Jacob… he didn’t run. He drove three hours just to sit with me. He bought prenatal vitamins. He held my hand when I went for check-ups. He stayed up with me through contractions. He was the first person to hold Noah after I did.

And I’d fallen in love with him, slowly. Gently. Not the kind of burning, desperate love I had with Declan. No, this was quieter. Like slipping into warm water after a long, tiring day. I think one day I had just woken up in my room, and seen him with Noah in his arms and realised - oh, I love him.

My parents adored him. My mother said she’d never seen me more stable. And when Jacob proposed three months ago, with a simple gold ring and Noah asleep upstairs, I said yes.

Of course I said yes.

We had a good life. A quiet life.

So why did it feel like something cracked open today? Like an old wound I’d stitched shut was suddenly bleeding again?

That night, Jacob and I lay in bed together, his arm draped over my waist, the soft glow of his phone illuminating his face.

“Okay,” he said, swiping through something. “So we’ve got the florist and the venue locked. What about music? Do we want that string quartet your mom loves or just a playlist?”

“Hmm?” I blinked. I hadn’t heard a word he said.

He nudged me with a smile. “Earth to Willow.”

“Sorry. Just tired.”

He kissed my shoulder. “We don’t have to plan tonight. Just figured we’d knock out a few things while we had the peace and quiet.”

“No, let’s do it,” I said quickly, trying to shake off the fog. “So... string quartet, huh?”

He chuckled. “Your mom will cry. Again.”

“She’ll cry if we play Ed Sheeran too.”

“She’ll cry no matter what,” he laughed, pulling me closer. “You’re her only daughter.”

We went quiet for a while, and I could feel his breathing slow, the rise and fall of his chest against my back.

I almost said it then.

I almost turned around and told him I saw Declan today. That I hadn’t been prepared for it. That I didn’t know what it meant. That something in me trembled the second I heard his voice.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I said, “Hey... thanks for cooking tonight.”

He smiled into my neck. “Always. You looked like you needed it.”

I closed my eyes, heart thudding against my ribs.

“I love you, I can’t wait for you to be my wife.” he murmured, and I felt the weight of it like a blanket.

“I love you too,” I whispered, and hated that part of me felt like I was lying.