Chapter 52: Fifty Two

The university looked different during finals week. It was much quieter, for instance. The usually buzzing courtyards were now scattered with students hunched over textbooks and coffee cups, their energy more frantic than social.

I sat cross-legged on the library floor beside Jacob, our books spread out in a chaotic semicircle between us. My laptop sat open, blinking cursor paused mid-sentence on a mock essay question. My head was pounding, and I couldn’t tell if it was the caffeine or the weight of my anxiety.

Jacob nudged a granola bar toward me without looking up from his notes. “You haven’t eaten in hours.”

“I’m fine,” I muttered, eyes skimming a dense paragraph on carbon taxation mechanisms.

“You’re twitching like you just drank a gallon of espresso.”

“Because I did drink a gallon of espresso.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Willow. You’ve got this. You always overprepare and then ace everything. It’s like your tragic academic flaw.”

I exhaled, leaning back against the bookshelf. “It’s not just the exams. It’s everything. The RA deadline is coming out soon, I have to make sure my grades hold up, and..” I stopped myself.

And Declan.

And the secrets that still hovered in the quiet moments.

Jacob gave me a sympathetic look. “You want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “Let’s just keep studying.”

But my mind kept drifting. To the dock. To Declan’s hand around mine. To the promise I made.

And to the gnawing worry that not everything was in our control.

Just as I tried to refocus on the paragraph in front of me, my phone buzzed on top of my notebook. I glanced down, and a small flutter rose in my chest.

Dec: Don’t forget to eat. And breathe. You’ve got this, dove.

A soft smile tugged at my lips before I could stop it.

Jacob glanced up at me just as I tilted the screen away. “Who's ‘Dec?”

I blinked. “Huh?”

He motioned toward my phone. “Your screen lit up. You smiled. So... who’s Dec?”

My fingers scrambled to lock the screen. “Oh. Uh, Dec is... my cousin. December. He’s just really intense about checking in when I’m studying.”

Jacob tilted his head. “Don’t think you’ve ever mentioned a cousin named December before. His name is December?”

I forced a casual shrug. “We’re not super close or anything. Just… family obligation. He sends check in texts sometimes during exam season.”

Jacob narrowed his eyes for a moment, like he was trying to read between the lines. But then he let it go, giving a slow nod.

“Okay. Weirdly sweet cousin. Must be nice.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, feeling the heat creep up the back of my neck. “It is.”

He returned to his notes, and I leaned forward again, trying to look invested in my textbook. But my heart was beating faster now, from the lie, from the truth behind it, from the fact that everything in my life felt like a house of cards waiting to come crashing down.

I typed a quick reply.

Me: You’re sweet. I needed that. Can’t wait for this week to be over.

Declan didn’t respond right away, but just knowing he was thinking of me made the noise in my brain quiet just a little.

Still, as I glanced at Jacob again, bent over his notes, unaware, a sick twist of guilt bloomed low in my stomach. I hated lying.

My phone buzzed again.

Dec: Are you with Jacob?

I hesitated, staring at the message. The flutter in my chest twisted into something tighter, more complicated. I glanced at Jacob, who was now underlining something in his notes with a neon green highlighter, his brow furrowed in concentration.

I typed back quickly.

Me: Yeah. Library study session. Just focusing on revision.

The reply came almost instantly.

Dec: Just checking. Don’t let him distract you.

I stared at the screen a moment longer, my thumb hovering.

Me: Why? Jealous?

This time, Declan took longer to respond. When the message came in, it was only three words:

Dec: Maybe a little.

Then another,

Dec: You know how I feel about him.

I swallowed hard, cheeks warm.

I locked my phone and pushed it deep into my bag, like hiding it would somehow make the moment disappear. But I could feel Jacob’s gaze on me again.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said too quickly. “Just tired.”

He didn’t press.

Jacob nodded slowly, like he was still assessing me. “You’ve been off lately.”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Just… you’re quieter. Distant, I guess.” He turned slightly to face me, lowering his voice. “And I don’t know what’s going on with you and Mara, but I can feel it. It’s like you two went from civil to cold war.”

I looked down at my open notebook, pretending to read. My stomach clenched. “It’s nothing. Just stress, deadlines… exhaustion. I’m really burnt out these days.” Well, at least that part wasn’t a lie.

He didn’t buy it. I could feel his eyes still on me, searching.

“She mentioned something the other day,” he continued. “About how competitive the RA thing is. But she said it like… I don’t know. Like you had an edge.”

I went still.

“She said that?”

He nodded, watching my reaction carefully. “She didn’t say it directly, just implied it. Something about how ‘some people have better access’ or whatever. I thought she was being weird about it, but… it got me thinking. Did something happen between you two?”

My mouth felt dry. I forced a small shrug. “I think she’s just stressed. Like everyone else.”

“Did she say anything to you? Like threaten you or something?”

I looked at him, startled. Had she said more to him than he was letting on? “Why would you ask that?”

“Because I know how people act when they’re scared of losing something they want. And Mara wants that RA spot bad.”

He wasn’t wrong. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth. Not about Mara. Not about Declan. Not yet.

So I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Really.”

Jacob gave a quiet sigh, but let it go. “Alright. But if she does cross a line…you’ll tell me, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I will.”

Even though I knew I wouldn’t.