Chapter 17: Seventeen

Saturday morning arrived with newfound hope and a certain optimism in me.

No alarms. No lectures. No unexpected events to complicate my day. Just me, the quiet hum of the city, and sunlight coming in through the curtains.

I stretched out on my bed, and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before pushing myself up.

Today would be good. I had to make it. I would make full use of the day. Get some physical activity in, eat something nice, catch up on my reading.

No plans. Just going with the flow.

I laced up my sneakers, tied my hair into a messy ponytail, and stepped outside. The streets still had that early morning kind of silence, the kind that makes everything feel new and exciting. My lungs expanded with the cool air as I began jogging toward the park, letting the steady rhythm of my feet melt away whatever tension I’d been holding since that dreadful day with Declan.

A few blocks later, I entered the park, already feeling lighter. I was warmed up and ready to run. The thing about running was that it was so bad and also so good. And this was a nice park. Not too crowded. I could get a few miles.

People were out, but not enough to make it feel crowded. There were some kids playing on the swings, old men walking in circles, and a few other runners pacing their breath like me.

I began to run, my feet finding a steady rhythm in tune with the Gracie Abrams song playing in my ears. The air was fresh and my surroundings were green. What else did a girl need?

This day was looking good.

I’d just found my stride again when I saw him.

Declan.

Of course. Of course he was here. Cause how could I have a moment of peace?

He was jogging in from the other direction, wearing a white T-shirt and dark shorts, his earbuds in. Oh God, I groaned internally. He looked so good.

I didn’t slow down, didn’t even let my face react, but he caught sight of me as we passed. His steps stuttered. He pulled one earbud out, stopping in front of me. He looked even better up close. Sweat lined his forehead, his hair was wet from it. And his t shirt was slightly transparent; so I could see the faint lines of his abs. I had kissed those once. Felt them with my own hands.

“Willow,” he called.

His eyes were searching mine, cautious. I stood with my hands on my hips, catching my breath.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said.

“I live nearby,” I replied flatly. “Didn’t expect you either.” I cocked my head, “It’s a public park, you know?”

He raised his hands in surrender. “I’ve just never seen you here.”

“I usually run in the evenings.”

“I run every morning,” he said.

I nodded, awkward silence spreading between us. I could still hear the chirping of birds overhead. Even the wind was blowing, slowly caressing my face. It was all too peaceful for what I felt bubbling under my skin.

“Listen I -”

I shook my head, “I’ll see you around, Dr. Ashwell.”

He sighed, “I want to talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about. And nothing that happened between us that needs mention.”

He stepped closer. “It was never nothing. Willow, we don’t have to have animosity between us.” He reached out to touch me, but then his hand recoiled. “I do care about you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” I said, my voice sharper now.

We were quiet for a beat, just breathing the same heavy air.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said finally, voice low. “I’ve been careful for so long. And then you…” he broke off, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to kiss you. But I can’t fucking help myself. I’m a madman around you.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “A madman.” I snorted.

He looked at me, his eyes boring down on me.

“I’m asking you to respect that I need space,” I said. “You can’t just do whatever you want.”

He nodded once, jaw set, but I could see the question still hanging in his eyes.

“Are you with him now? Jacob?”

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s none of your business.”

He nodded again, this time slower. “Right.”

I dug my nails into my skin, resisting the urge to say more.

“I’ll get going, Dr. Ashwell. Have a nice run.”

And before he could say anything else, I took off, my feet pounding against the trail. My lungs burned, but it felt good.

I barely made it a few steps down the path before I felt his footsteps beside me as he caught up with my face.

“Willow,” he fell in step with me, “Wait,”

I groaned, not stopping this time. “Declan, seriously. Let me have my morning.”

“I will,” he said, catching up to jog beside me, his tone lighter now, annoyingly casual. “I just thought maybe I could buy you coffee. And breakfast. That’s all.”

I gave him a sharp look, not breaking stride. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Because it’s Saturday. Because we clearly suck at having proper conversations. Because maybe I’m hoping we could have one now… without walls or faculty doors between us. And because I want things to be normal between us.”

I slowed down a little, side eyeing him. He looked at me expectantly. “You’re persistent.”

He smiled, just a little. “You’re difficult.”

“I have boundaries.”

“Good,” he said. “So do I. Mostly. Except around you, lately.”

I stopped running and turned to him. “Declan, I just… I don’t want to sit in some cafe and pretend everything is fine.”

“I’m not asking you to pretend. I’m asking you to eat. Just breakfast. A bagel. A latte.”

I folded my arms. “You really think a bagel and coffee is going to make things normal?”

“No,” he said, stepping closer, “but I think maybe they’ll make it a little easier to talk. We can be friends, if nothing else.”

I stared at him for a long second. He looked tired, but not in the usual sense. There was something softer in his expression. Like he knew he was toeing the line, and still couldn’t help himself.

“I don’t have friends I have had sex with.”

“Neither do I, Willow.”

I sighed. “Fine. Breakfast. And no weird flirting.”

He grinned, eyes lighting up. “Deal.”

I turned, scanning the park’s edge. “I was going to go to that cafe on Sixth.”

“Perfect. I love that place.”

Of course he did.

We started walking silently, until he glanced at me sideways, a little smirk creeping up. “Wanna race there?”

I raised an eyebrow. “You think you can beat me?”

“I think I’d like to see you try.”

“Oh, it’s on.”

Before I could change my mind, I took off sprinting down the path. I heard him laugh behind me, then the thud of his sneakers catching up. We ran like idiots; past startled little kids, around a couple walking their dog, both of us breathless and laughing before we even hit the sidewalk.

He let me win.

I didn’t mention it, but I knew.

When we slowed down outside the cafe, both of us panting and flushed, he looked at me, smiling, and it warmed to my core.

I didn’t know what that look meant. Or what anything meant.

But for now, I walked through the door with him.