Chapter 154: Hundred and Fifty Four

Declan didn’t usually fidget. He was too composed for that, too practiced at being steady. But tonight, when he came over after Noah had gone to bed, he stood in the doorway of my living room and rubbed the back of his neck like a guilty little boy. Noah did the same thing when I caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Something in me tensed. “What is it?”

What had Emma done now? A new tabloid article about me? A new case?

He hesitated, his eyes searching mine. “I want to tell you something before you hear it from someone else.”

The way he said it made my stomach dip. I sat up straighter.  “Okay,” I said slowly. “Tell me.”

He came further in, dropping onto the couch across from me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “My mother’s trying to drag Sabrina back into my life.”

I blinked. “Sabrina?”

He nodded grimly. “She thinks if she pushes hard enough, I’ll realize what a mistake I’m making with you and Noah. She’s already reached out to Sabrina, invited her to some event next week that I’ll be at.”

The information made my heart race a little bit. Sabrina. I remembered her face from LinkedIn—the perfect glossy smile, the impeccable résumé. PR consultant, sharp and polished, the kind of woman who knew which fork to use at dinners with CEOs.

I laughed shakily, but it wasn’t humor, it was something just to calm the awkwardness of the moment. “Well… she’s not wrong. Sabrina is beautiful, smart, successful. She fits. She’s… perfect for you.”

Declan’s eyes snapped up, his voice firm. “Stop. Don’t fucking say that.”

But I couldn’t. I thought of the picture of them together. They had looked so good. So beautiful, the both of them. Their same circles, the sample lives. “Why wouldn’t you want her? She can move through your world without blinking. She belongs in it. I don’t. I never have.”

His jaw clenched. “Willow.” His voice was a warning.

“Look at me.” My voice cracked. Fuck, I was spiralling, but I didn’t care.   “I’m not polished. I’m not wealthy. I’ve spent years just trying to keep the lights on and food on the table. Sabrina wouldn’t hide your child from you. She wouldn’t panic and run away. She’d be exactly what your mother wants. Exactly what you deserve.”

He was on his feet in an instant, standing in front of me, his hands braced on the back of the couch like he needed to cage me in, force me to hear him. His body enveloped mine, covering me. His voice was low but fierce. “You think I give a damn what my mother wants? You think I care about who fits neatly at a gala?”

I stared at him, tears blurring my vision. “Don’t you?”

His eyes softened then, though his voice stayed steady. “Willow. Listen to me. I was with Sabrina. For a year. I tried. I really did. She was kind, she was smart, she did everything right. But every single time I sat across from her, every time she laughed, every time I kissed her, I thought of you. I couldn’t give her more than half of me because the other half was still yours. Fuck, not even the half. All of me, has always been yours.”

My breath caught. I looked up into his eyes, earnest and fierce, as they stared into mine.

He crouched down suddenly, so we were eye level, his hands coming up to frame my face. His thumb brushed a tear from my cheek. “Even when I hated you for leaving, even when I thought I’d never see you again, it was still you. Always you. I loved you through every attempt to move on. How could I possibly stop now, when you’re here? When you’ve given me Noah?”

The sob broke free before I could swallow it down. “I’m so scared, Declan. Scared that I’ll lose Noah. And I’ll lose you. I can’t take that. I’ve only just got you back. I’m scared I won’t be enough.”

His eyes burned. He even seemed a little annoyed by my insinuation, but he still sighed, and spoke to me softly, “You’re already more than enough. You always have been. You don’t see it, but you saved me, even when you thought you were breaking me. And you saved him. You kept him safe, even when it meant losing me. You will never lose me again. I promised you that, Willow. You are the love of my life. And you are Noah’s mother. Nothing will change that.”

My hands shook as I clutched his wrists, grounding myself in his steadiness. “Then why do I still feel like I’m failing?”

“Because my mother wants you to feel that way,” he said simply. “Because she knows the only weapon she has is your doubt. But she can’t take what’s real, Willow. She can’t change what’s between us.”

I leaned into him, my tears hot against his skin. His arms wrapped around me, solid and unyielding, and for a long moment we just stayed like that. Him, my big rock, me clinging to him. Eventually, I pulled back, wiping at my blotchy face. “I hate that she’s using Sabrina. I hate that I even care.”

Declan gave a small grin, chuckling a little. “You’re jealous.”

I gasped. “Excuse me?”

“You are,” he said, settling back onto the couch beside me, his grin widening. “You were glaring at the air just now like Sabrina herself was sitting there. It was kind of adorable.”

I shoved his shoulder, scandalized. “Adorable? I was spiraling, Declan!”

He laughed, catching my hand before I could pull it away, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “You’re adorable all the time. But especially when you’re jealous.”

I narrowed my eyes, though the corner of my mouth betrayed me with a twitch of a smile. “You don’t get to make fun of me for being possessive, not when you glared at Gerard last week because he handed me a stapler.”

“That was different.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes.” He leaned in, his grin infuriatingly smug. “That was me being protective.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing despite myself. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love me anyway.”

The words slipped out of him so easily, so certain, that it made my chest ache. I squeezed his hand, whispering back, “I really do.”

His eyes softened again, the grin fading into something gentler. “Then that’s all that matters. Let them push. Let them scheme. They can throw Sabrina at me all they want. None of it changes the fact that I’m here. With you.”

I believed him then, not just with my head, but with the part of me that had doubted for so long.

I smiled at him. “Pour me a drink?”

He shook his head, but he did pour me one anyway.