Chapter 15: Fifteen

I had more classes to end, but I found myself getting on my bike and rushing home. I knew I was going to burst into tears any moment and I simply did not have it in me to make it through another lecture. I barely made it through the front door before the tears started falling.

The apartment was quiet, save for the sound of my keys hitting the counter and my shoes thunking to the floor. I stood there for a second, unmoving, eyes stinging, my throat feeling thick with emotion. Then my knees gave out and I sank onto the living room floor.

The tears came fast; hot and silent at first, then loud and gasping. I hated this. I hated how I let it happen again. I hated that how much I wanted him. And I hated that I couldn’t have him.

I didn’t even hear Cassie come out of her room until I felt the couch shift behind me.

“Willow?” Her voice was soft, but alarmed. I didn’t look at her. “Hey, hey… what happened?”

I shook my head, wiping my face with my sleeve. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” she said, already sitting down beside me, pulling me into a hug. “You’re crying on the floor. That’s literally never fine.”

I pressed my face into her shoulder and let myself cry again, the kind of ugly, hopeless crying I didn’t let anyone see. Except her. Maybe only her.

She rubbed my back gently, not rushing me.

“Don’t you have class?” I sniffled.

She nodded. “I do. At 3. I have time. Tell me, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Bad grades? Someone say something to you?” Her arms were still circled around me. For the fact that yes, Jacob and Mara were my only friends in class, I was so grateful to have Cassie here.

After a few minutes, I pulled back, sniffling. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you. But… it’s bad.”

Cassie tucked her legs under her, looking at me like she was bracing herself. “How bad?”

I took a deep breath. “Um, really bad.”

“Alright. Spill it.” She gave me a little reassuring thumbs up.

I swallowed. “You remember the guy from the bar? That night, the one I went home with?”

Her eyes widened a little. “Uh, yeah. Tall, hot, nice hair, sex written all over him? He was supposed to call you?”

I let out a weak laugh. “Yeah, that one.”

“What about him?”

“He’s... Declan. Professor Ashwell.”

Cassie blinked. “Wait. What?”

I nodded, wincing. “We didn’t know, obviously. That night was random. I didn’t even catch his last name. And then I walked into class the next week and bam. There he was. My professor. And well…”

Cassie covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh my god.”

“It was awkward. We pretended nothing happened. We talked about it and we decided we would just forget about things. And we did. For weeks. Then little things, he’d make weird comments, stare at me too long, ask me to stay after class. I tried to be normal. I swear I did.”

Cassie’s eyes were wide. “Willow...”

“And then today; Jacob, you know Jacob?”

She nodded. “The flirty guy from your class.”

“Yeah. I was talking to him in class and Declan saw us. Got all weird. Told me to come to his office. And when I did, he started grilling me. Asking questions about Jacob, acting jealous, then said I should stay away from him. Then - ”

I stopped, my throat closing.

“Then?” Cassie pressed.

“Then he kissed me,” I whispered. “And I let him. I kissed him back. And now I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I feel so fucking stupid, Cass.”

Cassie just stared at me for a long second. Then she exhaled slowly. “Okay. First of all, I’m really sorry. I can see how torn up you are. I know you didn’t plan for any of this. But, Willow… this is not okay.”

“I know.”

“No, like—really not okay. He’s your professor. He has power over you. Plus if anyone finds out - you are fucked, you know that right? And he is too. Both of your academic careers.”

“I know,” I said again, voice barely above a whisper.

She squeezed my hand. “I’m really worried about this. You’re getting caught in something that could really hurt you. Not just emotionally, but… your reputation, your grades, your safety.”

“I feel like I can’t think straight when I’m around him,” I admitted. “It’s like... he makes everything else disappear. And just being around him, and being in his class, its hard. I can’t even drop his class cause it’s too late now.”

Cassie looked at me, serious now. “Then you need to make it stop. You need to draw boundaries. Real ones. No more one on one meetings. No more letting him kiss you. You need distance, Willow. You need to protect yourself. There is no way this ends well.”

I nodded slowly. The tears had stopped, but the ache in my chest hadn’t.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” she said firmly. “And I’ll help you.”

I looked at her looking at me with concern and felt something loosen in my chest. Relief, maybe. Gratitude. Fear, still. But less alone.

“Okay,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Okay.”

Cassie stood and pulled me up with her, wrapping me in another hug. “We’re gonna get you through this, girl. One boundary at a time.”