Chapter 149: Hundred and Forty Nine

Declan carried the bags up the stairs like Jacob had a dozen times before, Noah skipping ahead of us, chattering about how he couldn’t wait to tell his friend Charlie about the rocks he’d collected. It was strange how much things had changed in such a short time, and how natural they felt. Noah had taken to Declan very easily, very smoothly. I guess nothing beat the truth of blood.

When we reached our house, Noah darted toward the lower floor where Charlie lived, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be back in a bit, Mommy!”

“Don’t stay too long,” I called, but my voice sounded thin and I wasn’t sure that he heard me. Still, I let him go.

Declan set the bags down in the living room, straightening up with a sigh. “I’ll leave these here. You can unpack later.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t quite look at him. The apartment suddenly felt too small, too quiet without Noah’s chatter filling it, and Declan’s presence.

Declan glanced at me, brows drawn. “Willow. You’ve been silent the whole drive.”

I busied myself tugging at the zipper of one bag, though my hands shook. “Just tired.”

“That’s not it.” He stepped closer. “Talk to me.”

Something inside me snapped. I whirled on him, the words ripping out before I could stop them. “Your mother was right.”

His face hardened instantly. “What?”

“She was!” My voice rose, echoing in the small space. “She sees it clearly, even if you don’t. You’ve built this incredible life, Declan, and I’m going to ruin it. Don’t you get it? She’s not

wrong about me. About what I’ve done.”

His eyes darkened, his jaw clenched. “What you’ve done is raise our son. Alone. Don’t twist that. I told you, Willow. How many times do I have to tell you again?”

I laughed bitterly. “Oh, right. I’m the sainted single mother who lied and ran and kept you from him for years. Some story to tell, isn’t it? What will your colleagues say when they find out you gave it all up for me?”

His voice dropped, light and low and dangerous. “I don’t give a damn what they say.”

“Yes, you do!” I shot back, tears already burning. “And you should. Because you’ve worked your whole life for this. And I, God, Declan, I’ll drag you down. You’ll regret it. We’ve always

been destined for this.”

For a long second, he stared at me, breathing hard. Then his voice cut through, sharp as a knife. Under the harsh tone, was fear. “So what? You’re planning to walk away again?”

My heart started beating hard and fast. I stared up at him, his eyes blue and hot and red. “I…”

“Because that’s what you do, isn’t it?” His voice rose, cracking at the edges, cutting me off. “Run. You tell yourself it’s noble, that it’s for Noah, its for me, but it’s not. It’s fucking cowardice,

Willow. You’ve always been too scared to stay.”

It felt like he had slapped me.

I staggered back, fury surging hot through my chest. “Cowardice? Do you have any idea what it was like? To be twenty three and pregnant and alone, with Mara breathing down my neck?

To know one video could destroy everything you’d worked for? I ran because I thought it was the only way to save you.”

His voice broke, raw. “You should’ve let me decide what I was willing to lose.”

I felt a lone tear run down my cheek. I wiped it away with my sleeve, angry and hurried. “And what if you lost everything? What if your career went up in smoke, what if your name was ruined? I couldn’t,” My voice cracked. “I couldn’t be the reason your life ended before it began.”

His eyes softened for a fraction of a second, but then his anger flared again. “Do you know what ended my life? Losing you. Not knowing where you went. Waking up every day wondering why I wasn’t enough for you to stay. What I did.”

The words gutted me. My knees buckled, and I sank onto the couch, sobs tearing out of me. “You were enough. You were always enough. I just, I didn’t know how to choose you and

protect you at the same time.”

He stood over me, his chest heaving, the storm in his eyes slowly dying down. After a long silence, he sat beside me, elbows on his knees, head bowed.

“I should’ve fought harder for us,” he admitted, his voice hoarse. “Instead, I let you go. I thought maybe you didn’t love me enough. Maybe I wasn’t worth it.”

He sighed. “And it ruined your life, too. You didn’t get your masters. You are so smart, so capable, you would have done wonderful things. I will never forgive myself for that. I took your

future from you. I never should have let things get as far as they did.”

I reached for him, my fingers trembling as they brushed his hand. “You were worth everything. I just didn’t know how to hold it all. And I hated myself every day I couldn’t. The masters, the degrees, the academic career. Fuck that. I am happy, Declan. Doing what I do. With Noah. And now…you.”

He turned his hand, lacing his fingers with mine. His grip was fierce, like he was afraid I’d vanish again.

For a long time, neither of us spoke. The only sound was the faint yelling of Noah and his friend echoing up from below.

Finally, Declan whispered, “We can’t keep hiding this from him. Not when the world already knows too much. If he hears it from someone else, if my mother uses it against us, it’ll break him.”

Fear coiled in my stomach. “He’s so young. What if he doesn’t understand?”

“We’ll make him understand,” Declan said. His voice was steady now, resolute. “Together. No more secrets.”

I wiped at my face, breathing unevenly. The thought of looking Noah in the eye and telling him shattered me, but the thought of him finding out another way was worse.

I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. “Okay. We’ll tell him.”

Declan exhaled, a sound of relief and grief tangled together. He pressed his forehead against mine, his hand still tight around mine.