Chapter 133: Hundred and Thirty Three

We had planned it a little bit. That morning, after breakfast and dropping Noah off, we had sat at the table and discussed how to break it to our son that we were leaving each other. There was no neat script to follow, no manual for explaining to a child that the life he’d known was about to change forever. But that evening, after dinner, Jacob and I caught each other’s eyes across the table, and I knew. We couldn’t delay it anymore.

Noah was still chattering about something he’d learned in school, his small hands animated as he pushed his peas around his plate, making ‘cars’ out of them. My chest ached so badly I thought I might fold in half. No child deserved this.

“Noah,” I said softly, my voice steady even though my hands were shaking beneath the table.

He looked up, his fork midair. “Yeah, Mommy?”

“Can you come sit with us in the living room? Daddy and I… we need to talk to you.”

His brow furrowed in that way it always did when he was worried he might be in trouble. “Am I… did I do something wrong?”

Jacob’s voice was quick, gentle. “No, buddy. Nothing like that.” He reached over and ruffled Noah’s hair. “You’re perfect. We just want to talk.”

Noah slid off his chair and padded into the living room, climbing onto the couch between us. His small body fit neatly against mine, the way it always had. I could smell the faint trace of shampoo in his hair.

I swallowed, glancing at Jacob. He gave the smallest nod. It had to be me.

“Noah,” I began carefully, my voice already trembling, “you know how much Daddy and I love you, right?”

He nodded immediately, a little smile tugging at his lips. “Yes, Mommy. You say that all the time.”

My throat tightened. “That’s right. That never changes. No matter what.”

Jacob shifted beside him, his arm resting on the back of the couch, close but not quite touching. His voice was low, thick. “Things are going to be… a little different from now on, buddy. Mommy and I, we’ve decided we’re not going to live together the same way anymore.”

Noah blinked, confusion clouding his face. “What do you mean? You’re leaving?” His gaze snapped to Jacob, wide and frightened. “Are you going on a work trip, Daddy? For how long?”

I wrapped my arm around him quickly, pulling him into my side. “No, baby. Not a trip.”

His brows furrowed. “So Daddy is leaving us?”

I took a deep breath. “Daddy would never. Not leaving you. Never. Daddy’s always going to be here. But Mommy and Daddy won’t be together the same way. We’ll live in different houses.”

His small shoulders stiffened under my hand. “But… why?” His voice was soft, trembling.

I looked at Jacob, and for once, we were perfectly in sync. He leaned forward, cupping Noah’s little hands in his much larger ones. His eyes were wet, his jaw tight.

“Sometimes,” Jacob said softly, “grown-ups realize that being together doesn’t make them happy anymore. And when we’re not happy, it makes it harder to be the best parents we can be. But, Noah, listen to me, this isn’t your fault. Not even a little bit. Do you understand?”

Noah shook his head quickly, eyes brimming. “But I don’t want things to be different. I like it how it is.”

My heart broke in two. I kissed the top of his head, holding him tighter. “I know, sweetheart. I know. Change is scary. But we promise, you will still have both of us. Daddy will still take you to the park, and make pancakes with you, and read stories. And Mommy will still tuck you in, and make your favorite noodles, and be there when you wake up. That won’t ever stop.”

His little lip trembled. “But you won’t both be there… at the same time.”

Jacob’s breath hitched, his eyes glistening. He pulled Noah onto his lap, holding him close, burying his face in his hair. His voice cracked when he spoke. “I wish we could. I wish it so much, buddy. But we can’t. Not anymore. But that doesn’t mean we stop loving you. That will never, ever change.”

Noah clung to him, then turned toward me, reaching with one small arm until I wrapped around both of them. His little body trembled between us.

“Please don’t be sad, Daddy,” he whispered, so faintly I almost didn’t hear it. “I don’t want anyone to be sad.”

That undid me completely. Tears streamed down my face as I kissed his damp cheeks, brushing the hair from his forehead. “We’ll be okay, my love. We’ll be okay because we have you. You make everything brighter. Always.”

Jacob was crying too now, his hand smoothing over Noah’s back in trembling circles. “You’re the best thing in both of our lives, kiddo. That’s never going away.”

Noah sniffled hard, wiping at his nose with the back of his sleeve. He looked between us, his face blotchy and red. Then, with a sudden fierceness only a child could summon, he flung both arms around our necks at once, pulling us in until our foreheads nearly touched.

“Then we’ll just all hug,” he declared, his voice muffled against our shoulders. “Hugs make things better.”

Jacob let out a wet laugh, and I did too, even through the tears. We held on, the three of us tangled together. For a moment, it felt like the world stopped spinning. Just the three of us, clinging to each other, refusing to let go.

When Noah finally pulled back, he was still frowning, still confused, but calmer. He looked at me, then at Jacob, then nestled himself back against my side with a weary sigh. “I don’t get it,” he whispered. “But… I love you. Both.”

Jacob kissed his hair, his voice thick. “We love you more than anything, Noah.”

“More than anything,” I repeated, stroking his cheek.