Chapter 13: Thirteen

Though things were kind of weird with Jacob now, him and Mara were my only friends in university. And despite the fact that he was constantly flirting with me, I did want to be friends with Jacob. There was nothing wrong with him per se. He was cute and he was smart. If things were different, I would have even appreciated the flirting and the fact that he was so straightforward. But my life had become so strange so suddenly. I had so many conflicting feelings about Declan and Chris was still texting me everyday and wanted to take me out. I simply did not have the bandwidth to entertain Jacob’s advances.

We had met up outside campus just before class. Jacob, and Mara, and I. He had gotten me a matcha and nothing for Mara. She was playfully teasing him about it, but I just felt put off by this action. I let Mara have half of the latte, plus it wasn’t even that good. We had Declan’s class first, and my jitters about seeing him had died down a little. When we entered the class, two other students were already there, and so was Declan. He was dressed in khakis and a casual white shirt. It looked good on him. As I walked in, he spared me a fleeting glance; but I noticed him looking me up and down. Or maybe I was reading too much into things.

Jacob and Mara took seats in the front row. I did not have it in me to be so close to Declan, so I silently sat down right beside Mara in the second row. Jacob turned around. “You always sit in the front.” His statement was a question, his brow furrowed quizzically. It was true, I did like to sit in the front in other classes. I shrugged, “I’m a little sleepy,” I lied, “I don’t want Dr. Ashwell to think I find his class boring.”

He nodded thoughtfully. Then, he stood up, and plopped right beside me.”Gotta give you company, Wills.” When he dumped his books on the desk, my empty matcha cup plopped to the floor. Jacob swore. It made me laugh. I realised I had laughed a little too loud when I saw everyone in class was looking at me. I quickly picked up the cup from the floor. When I looked up, Declan was staring right at me, his face impassive, but his eyes were narrowed.

I thought I saw his fist clench. “Miss Whitefield,” he cleared his throat. “Why don’t you move here?” He nodded towards a bench at the other side of the classroom. The color drained from my face. How embarrassing. Was I a child in high school? To be rebuked like this…for doing nothing.

The color drained from my face. It was humiliating. I wasn’t doing anything. Was I being punished for… laughing? For sitting next to Jacob?

I slowly got up from my seat, grabbing my laptop and notebook. My legs felt heavy. As I crossed the classroom in awkward silence, I didn’t dare look at anyone. I sat down at the bench he had pointed to, my face red and hot. Luckily, he didn’t say anything else. The air was filled with discomfort.

Once the attention shifted away from me, I chanced a glance up and caught Declan looking at me. His lips twitched into a slow, deliberate smile. Not a kind one.

I stared at him in disbelief. What was that? Punishment? A game?

When he began the lecture, I bowed my head and began to silently take notes, my stomach tight like a pit of knots. He ignored me completely, only asking questions to other students and engaging in lengthy discussions with people who hadn’t spoken up in weeks. He praised Mara’s comment. He laughed, actually laughed, at something a student said about a paper of his.

But when Jacob raised his hand to respond to a question, Declan barely glanced at him.

“Yes, Mr. Peters,” he said flatly.

Jacob answered with confidence, something about cultural norms and capitalism and accumulation . It wasn’t groundbreaking, but it wasn’t wrong either.

There was a pause. Declan leaned back, arms folded. “That’s… one way of looking at it,” he said coolly. “But not the most accurate.”

Jacob blinked. “How so?”

Declan tapped the whiteboard with his marker. “Well, for one, you’re confused about primitive accumulation. If you’re going to throw around academic terms, Mr. Peters, I’d suggest you use them with precision.”

There was a beat of silence. I turned slightly in my seat, enough to see Jacob frown. Even Mara looked taken aback.

Declan moved on as if nothing had happened. His tone remained even, his manner polite, but the air s felt heavy. Tense. His voice seemed to grow louder every time he called on someone, anyone, but me or Jacob.

Near the end of the lecture, as he wrote something on the board, he turned slightly to glance at me again. This time, his eyes lingered for a beat too long, like he was daring me to react. I didn’t.

When class ended, Declan closed his laptop with a decisive snap. “That’ll be all for today.”

The room filled with the rustling of papers and the scraping of chairs.

I packed up quickly, avoiding eye contact. Mara whispered, “What the hell was that?” but I shook my head, muttering, “I’ll tell you later.”

Jacob caught up to me at the door. “What’s his problem?” he asked, half-laughing, half-annoyed. “He practically iced me out. And you.”

I shrugged, heart thudding. “I don’t know.”

But I did. I knew.

And it scared me a little—how much power he had over my mood. Over the way my day went. Over me.