Chapter 112: Hundred and Twelve

By the time Friday rolled around, I thought I had managed to bury the conversation with Declan deep enough to function. Work demanded too much to let me linger in feelings — emails, deadlines, reports that wouldn’t write themselves. Still, every time I caught a glimpse of him across the office, that single question hummed in my head like a live wire: Or is it fear keeping you there?

But I liked the fact that lately Declan and I did not have much to collaborate on. We were in the same office, but we didn’t have to speak, didn’t have to interact outside of a meeting or two.

I hated how easily my pulse betrayed me around him. I hated even more how much calmer I felt when I saw him. Like part of me had been holding my breath these last years without realizing it.

The weekly staff meeting was supposed to be routine, just updates, numbers, minor victories. The director, Mrs. Bergess, stood at the front of the room, her glasses perched low on her nose as she shuffled a stack of notes. My pen scratched against my notebook as I forced myself to look attentive.

And then she smiled, a conspiratorial kind of smile that immediately set the room buzzing. “Before we wrap up, I have a little announcement. Something exciting.”

I stiffened. Announcements rarely meant good things in my world.

“We’ve arranged a two-day staff retreat.”

Laughter, chatter, a few claps. Ashley, sitting beside me, leaned close with wide eyes. “Finally! We need this.”

I forced a smile, though my stomach plummeted. Ms. Bergess continued, clearly pleased at the reaction. “It’ll be just outside the city, in the countryside. Workshops, team bonding, a bit of fun, a bit of work. I know we’ve all been

stretched thin lately. We deserve it.”

All around me, colleagues whispered with excitement. Who would room with whom, what to pack, whether there’d be karaoke. How much alcohol everyone would drink. Well, that part I also thought of. At the last office retreat,

Ashley and I had gone swimming at 4 am, still in our clothes, when none of our colleagues were around.

Unlike my colleagues, I tried to keep my breathing steady. A retreat meant being away from Jacob’s watchful eye. Which should have been a relief. But it also meant being trapped in close quarters with Declan. No walls to keep us apart. No carefully orchestrated distance.

I doodled on the corner of my notes, my pen digging too hard into the paper.

Ms. Bergess went on: “We’ll also be breaking into pairs for a workshop presentation. Each team will be responsible for a short project to share at the end of the retreat. Names will be announced now so you can start coordinating.”

My heart sank.

One by one, she read off the pairs. Ashley with Chris. Maya with Priya. My name came midway. “Willow… and Declan.”

It was like the air disappeared from the room.

I didn’t look at him. Couldn’t. But I felt his eyes on me. My skin burned under the weight of it, and I prayed no one else noticed the way my shoulders stiffened, the way my pen stilled in my hand.

Ashely nudged me under the table, mouthing, Lucky you. She assumed what everyone assumed, that being paired with Declan was a win. He was smart, charismatic, easy to work with. People liked him. Admired him. They didn’t

know what it meant for me.

I managed a weak smile, ducking my head. Inside, my thoughts were spiraling. I was spiraling.

How would I explain this to Jacob?

I already knew the answer: I couldn’t.

The meeting wrapped up with applause, chatter spilling into the hallway as people made plans. I packed my notebook slowly, hoping if I moved with enough care, no one would notice how shaky my hands were.

Declan lingered near the door, talking to someone else, but I knew he was waiting. He didn’t need to say anything now. The fact we’d been paired together was loud enough.

“Retreat!” Ashley squealed as we walked out together. “Finally, something fun. And with Declan as your partner? You’re set. He’ll carry most of the work. And you and I will get drunk like last time. Oh! Should I bring gummies?”

I forced a laugh. “Yeah, why not. Great.”

Inside, dread pressed down on my heart, making it hurt and sore.

That night at home, Jacob noticed immediately. He always did.

“You’re quiet,” he said, leaning against the kitchen counter while I stirred dinner on the stove.

“Just tired.”

His eyes narrowed. “What happened at work?”

“Nothing.”

The word came out too quickly. Too sharp. His gaze lingered on me, heavy, suspicious. I kept stirring, my knuckles white around the spoon.

Finally, he said, “You should think about quitting. I’ve told you before. You don’t need this job. We’d be fine.”

“We’ve talked about this,” I replied softly. “I like working. It’s good for me. For Noah.”

His jaw tightened. He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he crossed the room, setting his hand on my waist. A gesture that might have looked tender to anyone else, but I knew better. His grip was firm, possessive. I could feel his

fingers digging into my flesh. I would have a bruise.

“Sometimes I wonder if you even want to be here,” he murmured, his breath hot against my ear.

I swallowed hard. “Of course I do.”

But the words felt hollow.

Later, after Noah was asleep, I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. The house was dark, the air heavy. Jacob’s words replayed alongside Ashley’s teasing and Ms. Bergess’s announcement.

Declan’s name pulsed in all of it.

I turned on my side, pulling the blanket to my chin, my heart racing.

I was trapped, and I knew it. Between the life I had built, still brittle, careful, heavy with fear; and the past I had never truly let go of. Between silence and chaos. Between Jacob and Declan.

And now, fate, or cruel chance, was forcing me into a countryside retreat, into long hours side by side with the man I once loved.

I closed my eyes, but all I saw was his face the night he asked me: Why are you still with him?

I had no answer then. I had even less of one now.