Chapter 84: Chapter XXXIX Jasper-1

I knew Jasper was vulnerable, but never expected this. I had no idea what happened in his every life nor what happened once their household left from the palace. I just always assumed that Lewis and Matilda would leave Jasper alone, as that was what they did at social gatherings, but now I questioned a lot of things. Now I knew why he was so quiet, why he always seemed terrified of his own shadow, why he was so skinny. Jasper was never okay. And I didn't have any idea about it. Suddenly, every single positive thing I had about myself went flying out of the door. If I couldn't even help my own family member, then how would I be able to help the Kingdom? I wasn't the only one felt like this, the entire family in tears. Princess Alice was taken away by my mother and grandmother, not able to handle it. Sarina held me as we sat in the hospital's waiting room, Lewis and Matilda sitting across from me with tearstained faces. They looked guilty and far from innocent, blaming themselves for many things I didn't know about. Although Jasper was their brother, he was my cousin and I cried. And I cried. Sarina couldn't keep it in, although she wanted to appear strong before me. She wanted to be my support structure to lean on but this wasn't something that didn't affect only some people. This was something that had an effect on everyone. Duke Piers was with Jasper's doctor, talking about his recovery time. Before the Royal Variety Performance took place, Jasper apparently came home after something big happened. He wouldn't tell his family what happened, but could immediately see it had a negative impact on him. He was silent straight through the performance, and after he ignored everyone he came into contact with and headed home without telling anyone. Princess Alice discovered him crying in his bed late that night. This morning he had told his family that he was feeling unwell and would not attend the coronation, but would make it for the palace celebrations. When he did not show up, they all grew suspicious and drawing to the end of the night, Duke Piers and Earl Lewis went searching for him. Apparently, Jasper had come to the celebrations but as soon as he wanted to enter the banquet, he changed his mind and went roaming through the palace halls. All of the Royal Guards were in attendance around the entrance and the actual ball, none of them near the southern wing where Jasper was discovered. He was on an extensive overdose of prescription drugs, ones his parents had never before seen or even heard of. That begged the question of where Jasper got them. When they went looking for him, they intended to head back to their mansion but a Royal guard overheard them and informed them that The Lord Viscount Jasper was indeed within the palace halls. Because they didn't leave, and instead ordered the Royal Guards to assist searching for him, Jasper's life was saved just in time. But it was truly a close call, and that made it all the scarier. There were other details about Jasper's state which the household elected not to tell us, and we respected their decision. This wasn't like what happened when I was in the hospital, because this was intentional. I laid in Sabrina's lap, not having the strength to sit up after relieving myself of all tears I could muster. I was still in my coronation dress, which made it so much worse. We were all still dressed up so prettily but our faces looked like horror film makeup. I threw off my heels and unconsciously began to trace the unbelievable amount of scars on my feet, one of them protruding far more than the others. I didn't know what to feel anymore, the entire hospital scenery setting me off. I didn't know what went through Sarina's mind. She didn't even know Jasper. My father headed over to us after speaking with Duke Piers and I sat up immediately, my eyes wide. "What did he say?" my voice was scarily eager. He sighed deeply, exhausted. "Jasper's going to be just fine," I breathed out in relief. "But they aren't going to wake him up for another two days. Then we can come see him," I nodded slowly, disappointment setting within me. I wanted to see him. We headed out towards the car awaiting us and headed back to the palace, Sarina electing to stay with me for comfort. The twins were still unaware of everything, and I dreaded for them to find out. This wasn't an easy thing, and certainly not about Jasper. When we arrived at the palace, my body was fatigued and I fell asleep as soon as I redressed and my head fell on the pillow. My emotions were full of sorrow, nothing able to cheer me up. Not even Sarina who slept with me in the same bed. ♕♥ ♕♥ ♕ The twins refused to exit their room. It wasn't until we were all headed towards the hospital that they joined our sides. Their faces were a mess, as was the rest of the family. Duchess Hannah's family had gone early in the day to talk to Jasper. It was surprising, since although they were family in name, they had no blood relations at all to each other. Count Palatine Victor apparently read some poems to the silent Jasper, having him crack a smile after so many attempts. I didn't know Jasper liked poetry. We thought it fair for each of us to have individual time with Jasper, because overcrowding him now was the last thing we needed. I sat in the waiting room once again, this time without Sarina. I was twitching, my led moving up and down as I sat there impatiently. What would I tell him? Could I even talk to him? What is appropriate to say in this situation? "Melanie?" I heard and looked up to see the red, teary face of my mother. I nodded in confirmation and stood from my spot. I moved towards where I knew his hospital room was. I stared at the handle for a long time, summoning up courage to enter. I took a large breath and opened the door, entering the room. He was seated upright in his bed, his tired eyes looking out of the window. He saw people come and go from the hospital, and wondered what each of them was for. He had a smile on his face, and that made me envious of whatever my mother had told him. Did my mother really have comforting skills? I wouldn't know. Each time she needed to comfort me, she was simultaneously furious with me. He looked so strange in his hospital gown, his suits seeming like a faraway dream. He had an IV connected to his arm and a pipe pressed up his nose. I could see faint white lines across his arms that my breath hitch and my hands began to shake. I wanted to run, but I knew this was not the time for my selfish nature. I shook my head slowly at myself before heading over.