Chapter 44: Chapter XX Repercussions-1

We went to see a soccer match in Barcelona, but after everything that has been going on in my mind, I didn't enjoy one second of it. So people wacked around a ball with their shoes, big deal. I was a princess with feelings for a female commoner. One of those had priority over the other. I couldn't tell anyone. This was so wrong. Royals and commoners were already frowned upon, even if it was slowly getting more acceptance, but a girl? What would my parents say? I couldn't allow this, I just couldn't. I will have to keep my feelings hidden and just get over it. It was a phase, I just knew it. Or rather, I hoped it would be. I was obliged to find a nobleman to make King, so what kind of problems would this cause? I couldn't put her in such a problem. She didn't deserve that. She deserved to be happy, and even if Alejandro tells me to be less selfless, I couldn't help but be selfless in this situation. Sarina had to go free from me, and now that I was debating it, maybe I had to let her go. Permanently. She was already neck deep in all my problems and with royalty that this would be the anchor that drags her down. She was like a mockingbird, listening to others' and getting caught in their problems, but secretly wants to go free. I had to let her go. Which might be easier than I thought it would be. My thoughts of all this were my own, and I would be the one to suffer when she left but it was for the best. However, I was sure that Sarina didn't see anything like that for me. She was just being a good friend, and I misinterpreted everything in my mind as signs. Signs that she felt the same way. But she didn't, did she? She wasn't like that and her life was way too busy to even be thinking of a relationship, much less some messed up one like the once I was secretly craving. Why did you do this to me, Alejandro? I would've been much happier not knowing any of this. It would have caused lass pain. I liked a girl, and I was a girl. They didn't teach me this in Princess tutoring. "Melanie?" I turned to see Alejandro, our seats in a secret booth as we watched the muddy soccer players run around like lunatics. I wasn't one for field sports. "Yes?" I responded, sceptical. "Do you want to talk about it?" I scoffed in irritation and turned my gaze away from him. "This is all your fault, you know," he sighed and sat next me, his eyes on the field but I could tell he wasn't focusing. "I would've thought you were happy," I turned to him with surprise. "Happy? My mother will have my head if she ever found out! A bisexual princess? Execution is right around the corner for me!" luckily we were alone in the VIP booth so I didn't care about how loudly I spoke. "How do you know you're bisexual?" he questioned me, eyes curious. "After your idiot of a boyfriend, I honestly thought you might have strayed from... well, males," I couldn't understand how he could be so calm. "I'm attracted to you," I admitted in my worrisome emotional state, and I couldn't understand why he had suddenly started to laugh hysterically. He was a really strange man I had begun to realize as I learned more about him. "You're overreacting. This is modern times," he tried to sooth me. "Yeah, the world might accept me but my parents won't. They have a thing for piercings, tattoos and dyed hair. They're classic and prejudice like that. Imagine this? They're so... they have this image of the perfect person they want me to be and if I stray from that path, then they'll be upset. Extremely upset. They'll disown me. That's the kind of strict people they are," I shook my head, worry settling into my veins. My stomach felt heavy and nausea swept over me. I was terrified of what they might do to me, and I know that this time, I won't get away with it. This was different than my hair. This they couldn't just accept and tell me to change a few years later. This was a lifestyle. "I think you're just panicking. This is all happening suddenly. I think after some rest, then you'll be able to think clearly," he tried to reason, but I felt fidgety and anxious. I didn't want to go home now. I took deep breaths, calming my nerves. Why? Why was I so affected by such a little thing as a crush? "Ah come on!" he suddenly cried out, shaking me from my state. I looked to see that one of the Barcelona soccer players was tackled to the ground, the opposing team member getting a strict penalty from the referee. This was such an aggressive game. ♕♥ ♕♥ ♕ Six hours. That's how long Alejandro and I had dealt with each other in a car. For some reason we couldn't take a plane from Barcelona to Bilbao. He called it a road trip but this one wasn't exactly fun in my books. I still wasn't feeling too well, my chest fuzzy as my mental state returned to what it was before. Unfortunately, Alejandro was getting into a high as he became excited for the San Fermín festival. He kept pointing out buildings and places as we rode past them, and it was then that I realized Alejandro's bad side. He was great listener and great in conversations. He could always keep them going and that had eased me at the beginning because I was awkward around him. He got me to open up. Now I realized exactly how talkative he truly was. He couldn't stand for long silences and it got on my nerve, because I enjoyed silence. I believed everyone needed a part of the day where everything just has to be quiet so that you can think. Alejandro, no matter how adorable or sweet he was, he had finally managed to get onto my nerves. Usually when we went out it was for a couple of hours and then I would get to rest in my hotel room or the palace room or when we visited an attraction, he would let me marvel at everything in silence. A quarter of a day I was spend sitting next to him, listening to him ramble about his pet dogs and his trips to other countries. We had begun the journey fairly early in the morning, so I was tired. I wanted to strangle him. But he was my host, so I had to be considerate. It was also probably rare for him to find someone to talk to about these things. I had to be decent. I hadn't talked to Sarina in three days. She send me a message asking if something was up but I just responded by saying that this week is hectic. Luckily she left it at that and said that her schedule was also full. That gave me a week without having to worry about talking to her. I'm afraid I might say something inappropriate. I had to calm down. "So we're staying at Bilbao for two days before we head to Pamplona for the Running of the Bulls. Bilbao doesn't have that much to do but there's a beach a few museums. Also there's still some cuisine I want you to try," I nodded, not really listening. "You'll love the flower dog," I nodded again, and I think he finally realized that I wasn't listening. He turned away and sunk into his seat, acquiring his phone to browse around on. I felt bad, but I was more pleased that than guilty. I just wanted a little rest. I turned to him and laid myself down, my head on his lap. He smiled a little but I pretended to not notice, closing my eyes as I tried to catch a catnap.