Chapter 49
Luca’s footsteps crunched against the gravel before I even saw him. The faint slosh of the canister he carried made my stomach twist. He had to go and buy gasoline so we could tie up some loose ends. My fingers clenched tighter around the gun still warm in my hand.
He didn’t say anything at first, just stared at the lifeless woman sprawled on the ground. The night air was heavy, suffocating, the silence between us broken only by the rustle of leaves in the dark. I already feel guilty for having someone's death on my hands, and Luke is just making things worse. He actually looks more devastated than I am.
“Let’s just… finish this,” he muttered, his voice rough. I nodded stiffly, unable to find words. My body moved on autopilot as we bent down together, lifting her. She was heavier than I expected, dead weight pressing against my arms, her hair brushing my wrist as we carried her to the trunk.
The sound of the lid slamming shut rattled through me like a gunshot.
Luca’s jaw worked as he unscrewed the cap of the canister. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he said, almost to himself. “This isn’t what we agreed on, Emerald. You said—”
“Don’t,” I snapped, sharper than I intended. My voice shook, but I couldn’t stop it. “Just don’t.” Why is he making me the bad guy? He's so hellbent on making me suffer emotionally for doing the world a favour and getting rid of a blackmailer.
He poured the gasoline, the pungent stench hitting me hard. It soaked into the dirt, the trunk, her hair. My stomach lurched, bile burning the back of my throat. When Luca struck the lighter, the flame caught fast, roaring to life with a hiss.
I didn’t look away. I couldn’t. The fire swallowed her whole, crackling, spitting, painting the night in orange and shadows. It seems like the fire follows me wherever I am, cursing whoever I cross paths with.
We stood there in silence until the flames began to die down, nothing left but a smoldering heap. Neither of us spoke as we walked back to the car. The ride was quiet too, the hum of the engine and the faint scent of gasoline clinging to us the only proof it had happened at all.
When the mansion finally came into view, I couldn’t hold it together anymore. The second Luca parked, the world caved in. I buried my face in my hands, a sob tearing out before I could stop it. My chest heaved, air clawing its way in and out as though my lungs had forgotten how to work. The more my brain tried to process what just happened, the more it hurt.
“I can’t—” My voice cracked. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying, I can’t keep fighting, I can’t—” Luca’s hand hovered, hesitant, before resting lightly on my shoulder. “Emerald…” But I wasn’t listening.
The images spun too fast in my head: Dan walking away in that bar, his shoes missing from the door, the ransom call, the empty trunk, the flames devouring the woman I had just killed.
A kick, sharp and sudden, made me gasp. My palm pressed instinctively against my belly. Tears blurred everything, but I could feel it, the tiny, fragile life reminding me it was still there. Depending on me.
“I miss him,” I choked out, voice muffled against my hands. “I miss him so much it’s killing me. And I don’t even know if he’s alive, or if he’s… if he’s gone. And if he’s gone, it’s my fault. All of it’s my fault.” The sobs came harder, wracking me until I couldn’t breathe.
Luca sat in silence beside me, staring out at the mansion like he didn’t know whether to comfort me or run. "You're being a terrible friend right now!" I raised my voice at him, unable to suppress the anger; he couldn't even bare to comfort me as I cried. "I'm sorry that I am a little shocked that you were so quick to take someone's life." He said as he turned to look at me in disbelief.
"So you can't get over it? I'm pregnant, hurt, and just killed someone. I think I need a little more attention and sympathy than you do." I said, wiping my tears, and got out of the car, banging the car door as I stomped my way inside. He came all the way from our hometown to see me, but he can't even stand the sight of me when things get real.
I walked inside, instantly the emptiness overwhelmed me and I felt like throwing myself on the floor and scream. My head throbbed as I made my way upstairs, each beat of my pulse matching the pounding ache behind my eyes.
In my bedroom, I stripped off my coat and clothes with shaking hands, tossing them carelessly on the chair. I pulled on soft pajamas, the fabric cool against my burning skin, and collapsed onto the bed. The mattress dipped beneath me, but even comfort felt foreign now.
I wanted to close my eyes, to shut it all out, the fire, the blood, the silence in the bar when Dan turned away from me. But the moment I tried, flashes of everything slammed into me again. The woman’s scared look on her face, the weight of the gun in my hand. The door creaked open. I turned my head, too tired to argue, too drained to shout.
Luca stood there, hovering uncertainly. His gaze softened when it fell on me, curled up on the bed. “Emerald…” I didn’t say anything in return.
He stepped in slowly, guilt written all over him, and sat down on the edge of the mattress. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you, not tonight at least, because it's also fresh in your mind.” His voice dropped lower, gentler. “I’m sorry.” I blinked at him through heavy lids, exhaustion fogging my thoughts.
“I don’t understand half the choices you’ve made,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I know you’re scared. Angry and hurting. And I know you didn’t pull that trigger because you wanted to.” His hand reached out, hesitant, before pulling the blanket up around me, tucking it under my chin like I was something fragile.
“Get some sleep. Just a few hours. I’ll be downstairs, watching TV. Making sure everything’s… normal.” A humorless laugh slipped out of me. “Normal,” I whispered. “Nothing’s normal anymore.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But you need rest. Let me worry for a while.” He brushed my hair back from my face, then stood, lingering for a moment before heading to the door.
The room dimmed when he left, only the faint sound of the TV crackling downstairs seeping through the silence. I closed my eyes, not sure if I would sleep, but knowing that for the first time in a long time. I'm all alone.