Chapter 24 Kairo's Fear
Morning mild slices through the curtains like a blade.
Zephyra wakes to discover Kairo already up. Sitting in the chair by the window. Watching his cellphone.
The revised contract sits on the nightstand, where she left it after reading Felix's note three more times before finally falling asleep at 4 AM.
"Did you read it?" His voice is cold. Distant.
She sits up. "Read what?"
"The email. From Felix. I saw the notification pop up on your cellphone at 2 AM."
Have you been awake?"
"I haven't slept." He eventually looked at her. His eyes are bloodshot. Exhausted. "How should I? My wife is lying next to me, considering whether or not to spend six months in Paris with her ex-lover."
"It is not like that."
"Is it not?" He stands. Paces. "He sends you a revised contract inside the midnight. With a private note. Telling you he's waiting. and you read it. More than once ."
"How did you know that?"
"Because I know you." His voice rises. "Because I have watched you these past months. It's visible how you look while you're thinking about something And the way you stare at your phone.
Guilt twists in her belly. "I was trying to figure out what to do."
"By reading love letters out from your ex?" Kairo said. "Jesus, Zephyra. Do you even listen to yourself?"
"It is not a love letter. It is a business proposal."
"With a private note telling you he is looking forward to you. That he desires more if you want more." Kairo throws up his arms. "That's no longer business. That's manipulation."
"You don't get to decide that." Her voice hardens.”
"I do not need to. They're obvious." He stops pacing. Faces her directly. "He needs you back. The agreement is just the bait. Six months in Paris away from me. Near him. Working together. Rekindling old emotions. This is a seduction wrapped in a business deal."
"Or perhaps it is only a legitimate opportunity." She stands too. Defensive.”
"You're being naive."
"I am being positive."
"No." Kairo's voice drops. "You are being willfully blind due to the fact you need this so badly you cannot see the bait."
The accusation stings. "It's really not true now."
"Not true?" He laughs again. Darker this time. "What's truthful about any of this? Your ex shows up. He confesses he still loves you. Offers you everything you have ever dreamed of. And I'm purported to simply smile and guide you while you consider it?"
"Yes," she says without a doubt. "That's what companions do. They guide every different dream."
"Even when those dreams encompass the person that broke you?" Kairo's voice cracks. "Even if helping you means watching you choose another person?"
"I am not choosing him." Her frustration boils over. "I am thinking about a professional opportunity."
"For 6 months. In Paris. With him."
"So what?" She throws her hands up. "What do you want me to do? Turn down the opportunity of an entire life because you're insecure?"
The word lands like a slap.
Kairo goes very still "Insecure."
"I did not mean—"
"No. You probably did." His voice is ice. "You suspect I'm being insecure. Controlling. Holding you back from your dreams.
"It really is not what I said."
"It is what you meant." He grabs his jacket. "I am going for a walk. Before I say something I will regret.”
"Kairo, wait—"
The door slams at the back of him.
Zephyra stands in the empty hotel room. Her words were echoing again at her.
Insecure.
God, why did she say that?
Hours bypass. Kairo does not return.
Zephyra paces. Call him two times. Goes voicemail both times.
Fear creeps in. What if he does not come back? What if she has pushed too far?
She texts, "I am sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Please come back. We need to speak."
No response.
Her phone buzzes. But it's Felix: "Have you ever had a chance to review the revised terms? Coffee this afternoon?"
She does not respond.
Late in the afternoon, she hears the key card.
Kairo enters. He did not look at her.
"Where have you been?" Comfort and anger mix in her voice.
"Taking a stroll, thinking." He sits on the bed. a way from her. "We need to talk."
"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have referred to you as insecure—"
"You have been right." His interruption stops her bloodless. "I am insecure. About this. About him. About losing you."
The admission catches her off guard.
"However, you were wrong too." He maintains. "This is not pretty much my fear. It's about you not being sincere with yourself about what you really want."
"I need the professional opportunity."
"Do you?" His gaze is penetrating. "Or do you need closure with Felix? Because those are different things. And you're using one to justify the other."
The remark hits too near the truth.
"I don't know." Her voice is small. "I don't know what I want anymore."
"Then figure it out." Kairo stands. "But do not ask me to support you blindly whilst you do. I deserve better than that. We deserve better than that."
He grabs his suitcase once more.
"What are you doing?" Panic rises in her chest.
"Getting a separate room. We both need the space to think well
"Kairo, no—"
"I'm not leaving Paris. I am not leaving you." His voice softens barely. "However, I can't sleep with you while you're deciding between us. It is killing me."
He leaves earlier than she can argue.
The hotel room feels extensive. Empty.
Zephyra lies on the bed. Stares at the ceiling.
Paris. Felix. Career. Kairo. Past. Present. Future.
Which does she want more?
Sleep doesn't come until past midnight. When it does, it is fitful. Full of dreams where she's strolling but cannot flow.
She wakes at dawn. Unrested. Depressing.
Then she realizes with stunning clarity: she does not need Paris without Kairo.
The career means nothing if it costs her marriage.
Felix's pride glows much less vivid while she imagines six months without Kairo's touch. His laugh. His presence.
She desires to tell him. Now.
She throws on garments. Rushes to his room down the corridor.
Knocks. No answer.
Uses the spare key card he gave her the day before today. "Kairo? I want to talk to you. I figured it out. I recognize what I need—"
She stops.
He's on the smartphone. His back to her. His voice was worrying.
"Understand what you are saying; however, I don't know if that's possible right now."
Pause.
"No. I cannot make that kind of decision without speaking to her first."
Another pause. His shoulders were nerve-racking.
"Good. I will think about it. But I want time."
He hangs up. Turns.
Sees her standing
there.
The expression on his face makes her blood run cold. shock. Guilt. Something else she cannot name.
"Zephyra. I did not hear you come in."
"Who was that?" Her voice is barely a whisper.
"Nobody. Just work."
But the lie is written throughout his face.
Who was Kairo talking to at 6 AM that he can't tell her about?