Chapter 58: Lost in my thoughts

"This I really need to hear. Don't keep us in suspense," says Charlie , grinning from ear to ear as if my life is so exciting to him.

"There's nothing to tell," I grumble, but Adam just smiles laddishly at me.

"So, do you want me to tell you a story?" he asks rubbing his hands together as if I'm a villain poised for world domination.

"Yes!" clicks Nick and Charlie at the same time, clearly impatient. I have to say I am too because I want to know what this asshole is up to.

"Well, guys, that asshole Rayan had to drop me off at Kate's yesterday because..... well, that's beside the point. So there I was, in her kitchen, grabbing some paper towels because the girl's a klutz and I happened to look out her kitchen window. You wouldn't believe who the fucker was who had locked lips for a few minutes with a certain redhead," says Adam. I had just taken a puff of the joint and his words cause me to choke on the smoke.

"No fucking way!!!" Charlie literally shouts, causing some of the students walking by to look at us. But they don't stop because they know the rules.

"You're fucking with us, aren't you?" Nick asks with wide eyes.

"No," says Adam , making sure to pop the "p".

"Are you sure it was him and her? Maybe she was making out with someone else," Charlie states , and I can't help the growl that escapes me.

"Can't miss that redhead and can't miss this oaf either," says Adam , laughing now.

"Will you two shut the fuck up? There's nothing to talk about!" I snap, starting to get irritated. I didn't even think anyone could have seen us yesterday when I was kissing and then fucking Lia in the rain on that stupid bridge.

I was surprised to see her there after what happened between us the first time. You know, that time I told her I wanted to bury her in the woods. Yeah, good times.

I have to admit, that kiss was hot as shit. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. Just thinking about yesterday made my dick hard.

"It's a big deal! Somebody tell her it's that big of a deal!" Charlie squeals like a fucking girl.

"It is that big of a deal," Nick says , smiling at me next.

"Assholes, they need a life to stop worrying about mine," I growl as I take another puff of the joint. At this rate, I might smoke the whole thing and not pass it around anymore.

"Come on, you've never kissed any of the girls you've fucked, and now you're kissing the new one?" Nick asks .

"It was a slip of the tongue," I grumble. "It didn't mean shit, so you can stop it, assholes!". I say, glaring at them.

"You guys aren't funny!" Charlie pouts and I laugh at their antics.

"But... but I need you to answer me this last question," Nick says to Adam . "Did you fuck her?"

"I left and went back to Kate . I didn't want to be rude and watch them fuck even though that's what should have happened since they were putting on a free show," Adam tells them as he laughs.

"Ugh, someone tell me again why I'm friends with you , you idiots ?". I growl at them. I feel like I ask them this question at least once every day because they are always bugging me.

"Because you love us," Charlie says , giving me the most innocent expression he can muster.

"You assholes!" I say, laughing.

The bell rings and we finish our canute before heading inside and heading to class. I take my usual seat in the back with the boys and Kate .

"Are you okay?" I ask Kate .

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't feel so good," she says as she turns to look at me.

"Do you need a doctor or something?" I ask, really worried about her.

"No. I've just been stressed out with college applications and not having my friend anymore," she blurts out bitingly, and I just roll my eyes.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," I say, avoiding the last part of her statement.

"Great, well, I'm glad you're glad then, I guess," she grumbles before turning back to the front again.

I turn to look at Adam in silent question, asking him if he knows what's wrong with him, but he just shrugs. I guess he's still angry.

Mr. Shepard enters the classroom and starts his lesson right away. I don't hear a word he says. All my attention is focused on the empty chair at the front of the class. I wonder where the hell he is.

Come to think of it, I've noticed that he's been missing more and more classes for a week now. At this rate, he's going to fail. But then again, that's what I want, isn't it? Like I said before, yesterday was a fluke.

I don't know why the fuck I kissed her. Maybe it was because those few seconds it took me to get to her had my adrenaline pumping. I was a second away from falling over the fucking edge.

She's so fucking stupid! Who the fuck goes out for drinks alone and then almost falls off a bridge? Then I remember the words she said to me. I remember the pain in her voice when she told me to just get it over with and throw her over the rails....

I didn't want her to hear that shit. She was just saying it to get Adam off my back. I didn't know she was in the fucking library and heard my words.

When she said she might be dead along with my mother.... I don't know what happened. I felt like someone else had taken over my body and, without thinking, I closed my mouth over hers to shut her up. I let myself go. I kept kissing her when I should have pulled away.

Obviously I had kissed girls before, but it had been a long time since I had done so. I found that many of them just wanted the money and not the man behind it. Oh, they wanted me all right, but they cared more about the money.