Chapter 119

Between snivels, Teárlag said, "I was stupid. All people were the same to me. I didn't recognize some were better than others. You were no different from Blackthorne in my eyes in the beginning. More wealthy nabobs who'd looked down on me all my life. I just wanted to join you, become one of you, so I could look down on others. But you showed me some people are different; not all the same. You cared about your servants, you punish yourselves if you harm them. You cared about Isobel when she struck Jinny. You cared about Jinny. Isobel hired Jinny even though she was the source of her punishment. She didn't hold Jinny responsible for her own actions. You cared about Màiri when she disappeared. You cared about her family when she couldn't provide. Thorburn allowed himself to be paddled so Isobel would not believe you were the same as McTavish.

"Thorburn was good to me; you were good to me because I was important to Thorburn, perhaps you even liked me yourself. You didn't shun me because of my reputation. Blackthorne treated me like shit. He didn't care enough about his future wife not to whore her out to McTavish. Even if I'd married him, my life would be a living hell. I suddenly realized I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. Reward your kindness with my duplicity while expecting Blackthorne to be anything other than what I know him to be, a black-hearted bastard. If I would no longer marry him, and loved all of you, what was the point of it all? I decided to flee with the remainder of the money Blackthorne gave me to set up the house in Dervaig. The last thing I wished to do before leaving was tell you, beg for your forgiveness. I was going to catch a ship to London this morning, another from there to anywhere else as far as I could go in hopes he'd never find me."

There was silence as they considered what she said. Frang finally said, "I think we have much more to discuss, but you need to eat lunch. We all need to eat. I remind you not to speak of anything outside this room which you don't want Blackthorne to know. We trust no one but ourselves now, not even our most trusted servants. When we finish eating, we'll return here to speak again, unless you need some rest."

"I didn't sleep well last night, and I am tired, but I'd like to get it over with. I'll come back here and speak, as much as I know."

"If you thought we were going to kill you today, I can imagine," Ailene said.

"Bjarkë, would you please escort Teárlag to the kitchen and make sure she's given food and drink?" Frang asked.

"Aye, nephew. Come along, lass."

"Wait!" Ailene said. "We can't have you seen in the kitchen looking as if you've been crying." She took the edge of her dress and wiped away the tears, pinched her cheeks to give them color, and brushed at her hair to tidy it up. "There, you look a bit more presentable. Perhaps a wet cloth with cold water to reduce the puffiness under your eyes before you eat. Bjarkë, set her up in Thorburn's room before bringing her to the kitchen."

"Thorburn won't much care for that lass. Are you sure?"

"We need to keep everything as much like before as possible. Any changes will be noted," Ailene said.

"She's right, Bjarkë. I'll speak to Thorburn," Frang said. "Make sure to put her things in Thorburn's room. We'll figure it out."

Bjarkë led Teárlag away.

"What do you think?" Frang asked.

"I think she's being truthful," Isobel said. "I can't see the lie behind any of it."

"I agree, unless she's the greatest actress ever seen." Ailene said. "Her heart's an open wound. She's miserable. Imagine coming here expecting us to kill her. I believe she truly repents what she's done."

"Do you think Blackthorne's manipulating her in some way to gain an advantage we can't see yet? That everything he's done was designed to make her reveal herself to us, maybe gain more of our trust in some way?" Stuart asked.

"Plots within plots. God, I hope not," Ailene said, "because I fail to see any advantage to him if that's his plan. I know he's devious, but I lose hope if he finds an advantage to be gained from this. How can we counter his plans if this would be part of it? How do we really ever trust her again? All information she learns from us will be much more limited than it might have been before."

"Aye. I suppose you're right," Frang said.

"I just hope I'm right. Let's eat, I'm starving."

"I noticed you and Stuart missed breakfast this morning," Isobel said, hinting.

"We did, didn't we. No wonder I'm so hungry," Ailene said, smiling at Isobel.

They gathered Thorburn and went to the kitchen. Teárlag was still not there, nor Bjarkë either, so she was likely still getting settled in Thorburn's room. They got some food and sat down. Ailene's plate had more food than she usually ate, but no one commented, least of all, Stuart whose plate was piled high as well. Teárlag came down, her maid and Bjarkë trailing behind. She got some food and was about to sit at another table.

"Teárlag, please join us," Isobel said. "We'd love to hear the latest gossip from Dervaig. Besides, we have lot's to discuss, don't you think? Have you heard Frang and I are building a new house? I'd love to hear your thoughts about decorating it. You have excellent taste. I've seen what you've done with your place in Dervaig."

Teárlag hesitated, then joined them, though she didn't sit next to Thorburn. He was scowling. Frang nudged him, whispering, "You don't have to look happy. You can look serious, but don't look angry. People are watching." Thorburn attempted to wipe the scowl off his face but had difficulty with it.

"I need to see to Màiri's grave," he said, slapping his meat between a couple slices of bread. "She needs to be put in the ground today." He got up and left.

"Her family needs to be notified," Ailene said.

"Thorburn sent word to them this morning. They should be here soon," Frang said. "The priest as well. You'd know these things if you got up at a decent hour."

"I noticed you were walking gingerly this morning," Teárlag said. "Have you injured yourself?"

"Stuart and I are trying to have a baby. He was doing his husbandly duty over and over again, and we may have overdone it."

Isobel and Frang started laughing, Stuart and Teárlag joining a moment later. "So you want to have a child like Frang and I," Isobel said. "Good. They'll have each other to play with."

"These are perilous times," Ailene said. "If anything should happen to him, I want to have a piece of him to cherish always."

Isobel whispered, "I wish this child I'm carrying was Frang's for the same reason. I want to have his children, not McTavish's. If he died tomorrow, I would be left with a piece of that bastard instead of Frang. I'm hopeful it won't be the last child I carry."

"He'll be our child, Isobel, in any way that really matters. I love you and any child of yours will be a child of mine," Frang whispered back.

Tears suddenly ran down Teárlag's face. She got up suddenly, saying, "I'm so tired. I think I'll take a nap. Please wake me for the funeral," and left for Thorburn's room.

"What was that about?" Stuart asked.

"I think she just realized she'd never have a child with the man she loves," Isobel said thoughtfully.

"I think you're right," Ailene said.