Chapter 103

It was later in the evening after their normal meeting Ailene finally had a moment alone with Isobel and enough privacy to speak of it. Their respective guards were outside the room and not in the parlor with them.

Ailene was working on repairing a seam on a dress which had torn where the light was better and Isobel went over the list of items to be purchased when they went to market tomorrow.

"I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the sex with Frang so much."

"You're still hearing us? I promise I'm doing all I can not to make noise. I hope we're not disturbing your slumber."

"A little perhaps, but I don't mind. I'm so happy you have someone you can enjoy yourself with. The worst part is not having Stuart here with me and disturbing you right back. I miss him so much. My loins near ache with the lack of him plowing me regularly. I'm so accustomed to a regular bit of sex, the lack thereof is disturbing. I assume there's no need to tie Frang down anymore?"

"No, I've gotten past my fear of loss of control, although I still can't be closed in. He can't be over me in the bed. I have to feel there's an opening. He's been showing me ways of having sex where that doesn't occur. Their are quite a few different ways of having sex. I never knew there were so many. McTavish knew two. On top of me and behind me like a dog."

"Have you let him use your ass?" Ailene asked, innocently working on stitching her garment.

"Why would I do that? What is a man's fascination with that particular orifice?" Isobel asked. "McTavish would use me there and I hated it. It was so painful and disgusting. Don't tell me that you allow Stuart to use you that way?"

"Quite often," Ailene replied, still sewing neat seams, seemingly only indirectly interested in the conversation, though she was listening intently. "I really do enjoy it. Not quite as much as the normal way, but it is a very pleasant change from the usual."

"And it doesn't hurt you?" Isobel asked.

"Oh, no. It's most pleasurable. Quite exquisite, really. I enjoy the sensation of being filled in that way." She looked up from her stitching, waiting for Ailene's response.

"That's not been my experience."

"You can hardly say any incident with McTavish is representative of your relationship with Frang, can you? Has anything you've done with Frang been like any occurrence of the same with McTavish?"

"No, it has not. So you believe I might enjoy it as much as I enjoy other acts of sex with Frang?"

"He has shown himself to be a considerate and gentle lover?" Ailene asked.

"I've never known such pleasure. You've heard me cry out. I never thought I would enjoy sex with a man after my time with McTavish. Frang's completely changed my mind about men," mused Isobel. "I imagine this could be different as well."

"It's important the man be gentle when starting out. It is meant to pass things out, after all. But if done gently, it can be a very rewarding experience. I enjoy it as something different."

"And you think it possible for me to enjoy this as well?" Isobel asked.

"I can't be sure. All people are different. It's possible McTavish might have permanently ruined a possible experience for you. It may be difficult for you to get past what has previously happened. All I would say is, like all things Frang has shown you, it would be vastly different from what occurred before," Ailene replied.

"Do you think I should try it?"

"That's up to you. If you foresee the possibility of it giving you pleasure, it may be worth the risk."

Isobel was silent for awhile, then she said, "I'm done with my list for tomorrow. I'll be going to bed now."

"I'll be following shortly. I've almost finished mending this seam. Goodnight, sister."

"Goodnight, Ailene."

Isobel retired to her room. Her bath was waiting but Frang wasn't in the room yet. With all the time he was spending on training, he had to catch up each evening on the affairs of the estate and it was often late when he arrived. The last couple nights she'd been asleep when he finally came to bed although she'd quickly wakened as soon as she felt him settle in the bed next to her.

Removing her clothes, Isobel added hot water to the tub. Before sliding into the water, she looked at herself in the mirror. She had changed so much the last couple months, from a thin, underfed, bedraggled and battered girl child to the healthy specimen of womanhood who stared back at her. Isobel thought she could see the tiny bump of impending motherhood and her breasts seemed slightly larger to her critical eye as they prepared themselves to provide nourishment to the child growing in her belly. She wished, not for the first time, the child could be Frang's. Frang didn't seem to be bothered by the idea of raising another man's child, and for that, she was eternally grateful. It would be bad enough raising the child borne of her despised relationship with McTavish without having a husband who hated it. Despite her feelings for McTavish, she felt the melting of her heart which would allow her to love the little human growing inside her.

She got in the water and allowed it to soak the weariness of the day away. Frang was pushing her almost as hard as Ailene, fearful for her, only making allowances for her pregnancy. She was not getting as much sleep as she was accustomed to due to the frequency of her coupling with her husband, but it seemed to matter little. Her intimacy with Frang seemed to refresh her as much as more sleep would. She never used to sleep well when McTavish shared her bed. She was always fearful around him, from the crudity of his sexual advances to the brutality of his fists, she never fully relaxed. Isobel never felt as safe as she did now with Frang's arms around her breathing softly in sleep. What she was missing in quantity of sleep was more than recompensed by the quality.

The changes were more profound than mere appearance and sleep. If honest with herself, Isobel knew there were times she'd been so despondent regarding her life, she had contemplated suicide. Only the enormity of the sin and her fear of an eternity in hell had swayed her from taking her own life. She was grateful now not to have committed that particular mortal sin. Not only did she find herself with a man who she truly respected, trusted and was beginning to love with all her heart, she had gained family and friends unforeseen and unexpected. She could not love Ailene more than she might a natural sister, or so it seemed to her. Frang's brothers were compassionate and honorable men who she could as easily trust her life to as she could Frang. From a life of despairing misery to one filled with joy and promise was more than she had ever imagined for herself.