Chapter 59 Dreams - Miguel's POV
"Do we have to move again, Mommy?" I whine while she's tugging my hand while pulling our only suitcase with her other hand.
I really don't want to move again. I loved that school and I made a friend. Raul is my best friend now. He punched a boy for making fun of me. I really like him and I want us to be friends forever.
"Si mi hijito." She stops, and bends down so we can see eye to eye. "Lol siento, please forgive Mama! We come back soon, okay?"
She's lying. I know she is, because she has tears in her eyes. Every time she has tears in her eyes ,she lies.
Last time, she told me we're moving back to New York because my Daddy promised he would take care of us, but then he married someone else and he had a baby. And then she cried because of the lie.
The lady next door said the baby looks like me, but I'm the bastard son.
I don't know what she means. Mama said bastard is a bad word and I shouldn't say it.
Am I bad then? Because I'm a bastard son?
Raul said a bastard is really cool. So I'm bad cool.
I really don't want to leave.
I want to play football with Raul. He's really fast and catches all my throws. One day when we're big, we're going to be football stars, and I will buy Mama a big, fancy house with lots of maids so she never has to clean anyone else's toilet ever again!
Mama is really nervous. She put a baseball hat on my head and told me to look down, to not talk to anyone on the bus. We're going on an adventure. I like adventures, but I wish Raul could come with us.
But she's looking around the big station like someone is going to chase us. That's okay, I can run really fast, too. Not as fast as Raul, though.
The man in front of the bus checks our tickets, but tell Mama that we should wait on the side.
I hide behind Mama's legs when two big police officers walk over to us. I don't like the police, Raul said they're nothing but trouble.
One of them starts talking to Mama, and she starts to cry and speaking in Spanish. I don't like it and Raul did say the police are trouble, so I kick him as hard as I can in the shin for making Mama cry.
"Miguel!" She shouts when the other one picks me up around the waist and start walking away from Mama. "Miguel! Mijo!"
"Mama!" I hold my hands out for her, but the police officer is holding her tight so that she can't get away from him. "Mama! Help me!"
They're taking me to jail because I kicked that police officer in the shin. I kick and scream, but he's too strong.
"It's okay, I got it from here." A deep, familiar voice says and I go still.
"Daddy?"
The police officer lets me down and I grab Daddy around the legs.
"They're hurting Mama, Daddy." I cry against his legs, hoping he would help her.
"Hey buddy." Daddy drops on his knees in front of me and brushes my hair out of my eyes. "It's okay, your mama is going to be okay. You can go visit her sometimes, but it's time you moved in with me. You have a new family now."
"I don't want a new family!" I squeal, but Daddy doesn't listen to me, he picks me up and puts me in a back of a car kicking and screaming.
I wake up with a start, sweat covering my brow and my heart beating into overdrive.
I immediately do what I always do when I have dreams that take me back to my childhood.
I rub the tattoo on the inside of my left arm, until my heart quiets down. It's the only thing that has been keeping me sane ever since I got it when I turned eighteen.
I killed twelve men today. Granted, they were bad men, but whenever I return from a deadly mission, I either have dreams reliving the past, or I have nightmares.
I do something else that calms me down lately, too. I slide my phone from underneath my pillow, and switch it on.
No network as usual, but I don't want to call anyone. Instead I open my phone gallery to the folder of her.
It's from the last morning I saw her, before she woke up.
She's angelic, there are no other words to describe her.
She is turned towards me with one hand tucked under her face, her dark hair flowing like a river over her shoulder and her full lips slightly open as she sleeps.
I've often wondered what it is about her that drew her to me so much.
First , I thought it is because she reminds me of my mom, but even though my mom also has green eyes, the shade is completely different.
Then I realised it's because of her calmness. Her peace.
She's quiet, delicate, precious. She sees the good in the world when for me it has always been tainted.
She's a calm, spring morning when I was always a turbulent storm.
When I touch her, the demons inside me stop chasing me, and everything becomes quiet.
I love it there, that stillness in my chest when I'm with her.
I'm done being a soldier. I'm leaving the Navy when my deployment is over, and I'm finally stepping into my destiny and reclaim what has always been mine.
And nobody, not even my brother being engaged to her, will stop me.